User Tag List

Page 12 of 29 FirstFirst ... 2101112131422 ... LastLast
Results 111 to 120 of 287

Thread: Questions for INFJ's

  1. #111
    Senior Member Array OptoGypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Hey I made an offensive joke and the INFJ I like heard it, got offended by it and won't talk to me. How do I redeem myself? The joke was What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? The punchline was "You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass."

  2. #112
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,831

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OptoGypsy View Post
    Hey I made an offensive joke and the INFJ I like heard it, got offended by it and won't talk to me. How do I redeem myself? The joke was What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? The punchline was "You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass."
    You could try this or one or both of these:



    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #113
    Senior Member Array OptoGypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    You could try this or one or both of these:



    I know the joke is stupid and that most females will find it offensive so I'm taking the responsibility for her feelings but how do I get her to talk to me?

  4. #114
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,831

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OptoGypsy View Post
    I know the joke is stupid and that most females will find it offensive so I'm taking the responsibility for her feelings but how do I get her to talk to me?
    Here's the thing about females. They are people and they have autonomy. There is one person whose actions you can control and that person is not her. It is you. If you can sincerely apologize (which I doubt) maybe it will work. I don't really blame her if you're going to say stuff you know people find offensive (while believing their feelings are not valid) and you think of women as this collective entity called "females."
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #115

  6. #116

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OptoGypsy View Post
    I know the joke is stupid and that most females will find it offensive so I'm taking the responsibility for her feelings but how do I get her to talk to me?
    Don't sweat it, just be yourself, but definitely do move on to someone more on your level that appreciates your humor... or lack of.

  7. #117
    Senior Member Array OptoGypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Here's the thing about females. They are people and they have autonomy. There is one person whose actions you can control and that person is not her. It is you. If you can sincerely apologize (which I doubt) maybe it will work. I don't really blame her if you're going to say stuff you know people find offensive (while believing their feelings are not valid) and you think of women as this collective entity called "females."

    Even though my most sincere bone in my body is my dick I do use my mind to think and care for my actions: I'm not stupid enough to think that women are dependent on men and I do find peoples feelings valid even if I don't fully understand them. You most find the Census and other surveys to be offensive since they put women as a collective entity called Females.

  8. #118
    Senior Member Array OptoGypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    Don't sweat it, just be yourself, but definitely do move on to someone more on your level that appreciates your humor... or lack of.

  9. #119
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    IXFP
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INFp None
    Posts
    7,550

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Thank you so much for your answers, all. Will respond in more detail when I can.

    Follow-up question: Is this essentially an attempt to sacrifice your feelings for harmony and/or The Greater Good? Trying to put myself in your shoes, I probably would have shared my feelings and tried to work out a solution that didn't make me feel like a bad person. Not that this is a "better" route, as it could potentially lead to conflict, and it might make the person concerned that I would remain frustrated later -- whereas with you folks, in a perfect world, no one would ever know your feelings on the subject?.
    When I'm around other people I start to internalize their feelings and perspectives as well as mine and view all of it almost like a disembodied entity. I'm not grounded in my own psyche or ego the way most other people are. In this way I'm not making some great sacrifice for the "Greater Good", but it even seems irrational to me to over-value my own feelings or perspectives when I'm just another person like everyone else. I've taken it too far in my own life though as a result of being around people with greater needs and stronger feelings and ideas than myself. At this point I actually go blank when in a group and asked what I desire, and I just give over to consensus. If it isn't something I can tolerate then sometimes I'll end up quietly leaving.

    I have a very deep desire to connect with a few people and be seen and understood. It is extremely difficult for me to venture out to describe a feeling on a subject because I fear it won't be understood. I end up having strong feelings of longing towards people I think might understand me, and a nurturing, but personally distanced feeling to other people (of course there are degrees of both). Being heard might mean almost everything to me, but because I spend so much time observing and analyzing the ideas and assumptions of other people, I almost never expect to be heard even if I speak. I find it conserves energy immensely to not often share my preferences and feelings, but it would be ideal to be able to do this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Admiral Crunch View Post
    It might be fine for some people, but I rather not live in a world where people think it is okay for dolphins to rape each other.

  10. #120
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,831

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OptoGypsy View Post
    Even though my most sincere bone in my body is my dick I do use my mind to think and care for my actions: I'm not stupid enough to think that women are dependent on men and I do find peoples feelings valid even if I don't fully understand them. You most find the Census and other surveys to be offensive since they put women as a collective entity called Females.
    If the census assumed things about me based on my sex, then, yes, I think I might find that offensive.

    You can't get anyone to do anything, including talk to you. That's what I meant by autonomy. You can ask them to do things and hope that they comply. In your situation, if a sincere apology does not work then maybe a change in your behavior that can be observed over time?

    It is kind of offensive to assume you know specific things about people because of their gender. I'm guessing you wouldn't like to be lumped in with all men and have things assumed about your preferences based on the fact that you have a dick (despite its sincerity). That's what I mean about a collective entity.

    To assume that your joke offended her because she is female . . .
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Page 12 of 29 FirstFirst ... 2101112131422 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] questions for/about INFJ and ENFJ men
    By curiousjane in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 06-27-2012, 10:58 AM
  2. [INFJ] Question for INFJ's
    By Santosha in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-09-2011, 07:37 PM
  3. [INFJ] Question for INFJs
    By janea in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-14-2011, 08:08 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Hmm...No ENTP-ISFP topics. Alright then. Question: For an ENTP: ISFP or INFJ?
    By EricHanson in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 11-26-2010, 03:58 PM
  5. [INFJ] Some questions for fellow infjs :)
    By Penguin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-02-2009, 08:25 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •