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[MBTI General] ENFJ vs. ENFP - Notes

Lady_X

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SO much so that until recently- I thought everyone could.
I mean that- cuz until I started talking about these topics with people who study MBTI- I DID NOT realize how this is SUCH A BIG DEAL to so many people. So many people cannot deal with this. I have taken for granted that this is a no brainer for me. And if I AM hurt from being vulnerable, I recover quickly. Like who cares? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

plus the sxness...we be all like bring it the f@*k on yo!
 

AzulEyes

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haha! :D

wanting an enfp party atm "i" think we're awesome

haha

Do you think ENFPs have the easiest time being vulnerable than other types? (Please- anyone with an opinion on this- please answer.)

I feel like we are the MOST OPEN type to a fault!

I have had to learn over the years to SHUT THE {bleeeeep!} up! I used to get myself in so much trouble revealing too much.
:happy2:
 

HongDou

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You clearly have a problem with ENFPs, but Fe tends to get a lot of hate online so I appreciate you listing some of the good qualities of one of the Fe-doms. I'd make try your list more balanced on both ends though if I were you. :coffee: Especially if you want it to be taken seriously.

ENFJ

6- More interested and more energized by being in a long-term, harmonious relationship (romantic and non-romantic alike).

ENFP

6-Prefers to explore in relationships, often prefers the spark of the new ones to the steadfastness of old ones...easily bored.

I disagree with this though. I'm basically looking for a long-term, harmonious relationship right now. Trying to find dates that will hopefully lead to something more. On the flip side, I know EFJs going around college hooking up with random dudes and entering open relationships. I think that "spark" is something most people enjoy, and it's something that can be retained in the long-term if both people in the relationship are willing. It also depends on what people want at the time. I think regarding relationships, ENFJs are generally better at providing stability to the relationship while ENFPs are generally better at providing novelty to the relationship. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to people who seem stable. :shrug:

1- More difficulty in defining their lifetime goals, let alone pursuing them...in truth, prefers the thought of the being free to do so without constraints.

I'm interested in what you mean by lifetime goals here too. Basically my only goal in life is to find the one, get married, build a family with him, and live a happy life together. I'm constantly in pursuit of that goal and I'm always putting in effort when it comes to trying to find someone. I'd consider that pretty much a lifetime goal. If you mean other things like future occupation - they simply aren't as important to the bigger picture I'm aiming for. Although I'm really passionate about becoming a therapist and getting my PhD. I'm just saying, as long as I have a husband and kids in my future I'll be content.
 

thoughtlost

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haha

Do you think ENFPs have the easiest time being vulnerable than other types? (Please- anyone with an opinion on this- please answer.)

I feel like we are the MOST OPEN type to a fault!

I have had to learn over the years to SHUT THE {bleeeeep!} up! I used to get myself in so much trouble revealing too much.
:happy2:

Confirmed. I don't usually think of the consequences of what I am saying until it's too late. In general, I am not one of the those socially conscientious people because I don't care to make myself look a particular way in front of certain people and then another way in front of another person. I am not very calculating.

Edit: The ENFP style is different from types. Fe types (I think... could be wrong ...please correct me if I am wrong) tend to let others share a little bit... then the INFJ/ISFJ share a little bit ...until they have had enough exchange and it has to be an equal investment.
 

AzulEyes

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Confirmed. I don't usually think of the consequences of what I am saying until it's too late. In general, I am not one of the those socially conscientious people because I don't care to make myself look a particular way in front of certain people and then another way in front of another person. I am not very calculating.

Edit: The ENFP style is different from types. Fe types (I think... could be wrong ...please correct me if I am wrong) tend to let others share a little bit... then the INFJ/ISFJ share a little bit ...until they have had enough exchange and it has to be an equal investment.

So if we suck at Fe so bad-- why are we SO FASCINATED by people and why are we so IN TUNE with them?

It's wierd.
 

five sounds

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So if we suck at Fe so bad-- why are we SO FASCINATED by people and why are we so IN TUNE with them?

It's wierd.

Ne.

But yeah it's totally weird.
 

Lady_X

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haha

Do you think ENFPs have the easiest time being vulnerable than other types? (Please- anyone with an opinion on this- please answer.)

I feel like we are the MOST OPEN type to a fault!

I have had to learn over the years to SHUT THE {bleeeeep!} up! I used to get myself in so much trouble revealing too much.
:happy2:

Yeah we probably are. Infps are pretty close if not sometimes more in certain ways.

I know that for me it feels like it's sometimes uncomfortable like in an emotional relationship situation I might show anger before hurt and that feels like I'm being protective of my vulnerability but then I'm always open about the whys etc afterward.

And probably more so than many other types. I think it comes from having to be real and talk about real things even if they're unpleasant.

If that makes sense.
 

Southern Kross

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Hi all,

I would like to post a small and tentative comparison on the difference between the ENFJ and ENFP types. I'll just lay the text out, though it should be best read as a table....so all 6 points for the ENFJ type should match the 6 points for ENFP in the same order.

The distinctions themselves are mostly accurate here, however as others have said, you've falling into the trap of comparing a positive spin on one type with a negative spin on another. You need to compare oranges with oranges before your ideas will have much meaning. Put more thought into why ENFPs do things differently to ENFJs and what benefits can come from a different approach. Your blind-spots in life can be their virtues, and vice-versa.

I like the ENFJ list for the most part, but I do question number 4. I think both ENFJs and ENFPs are quite likely to question the status quo. The distinction IMO is perhaps that when ENFPs a driven to overhaul things they want to change things more dramatically across a broad range of related ideologies and this often diffuses their energy, which means they're less active in directly inciting change and/or push less assertively (hence why, along with INFPs they're sometimes know as "the advocates"). ENFJs OTOH tend to focus their energy on a more narrowly defined goal, and are more actively and directly involved in making it happen. Just a thought... :shrug:

Personally, the thing I've come to discover about ENFXs is just how similar they can be (same goes for ESFJ vs. ESFP too). I think the more you know about MBTI and the better you get at reading people, that previously aching gulf between the types becomes a more of a fine line. I'm often surprised just how sprightly, silly and playful EXFJs can be, and how focussed and deliberate EXFPs can be.
 

AzulEyes

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Yeah we probably are. Infps are pretty close if not sometimes more in certain ways.

I know that for me it feels like it's sometimes uncomfortable like in an emotional relationship situation I might show anger before hurt and that feels like I'm being protective of my vulnerability but then I'm always open about the whys etc afterward.

And probably more so than many other types. I think it comes from having to be real and talk about real things even if they're unpleasant.

If that makes sense.

I can see that with INFPs but it would be at a cost more than an ENFP. Our recovery from hurt might be quicker- we can't STAND being unhappy. INFPs can actually become creative and mystical in their time of pain. I'm probabably way off here- just my view!
 

thoughtlost

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So if we suck at Fe so bad-- why are we SO FASCINATED by people and why are we so IN TUNE with them?

It's wierd.

...I don't know. I think Fe is more rational and calculating with their relationships (read: more conscious of what they are doing) whereas my interest in people is more spontaneous. One of my ENFP friends once told me that she wanted to be friend a girl ...simply because she thought it would feel good to walk beside her everyday. I don't give a fuck who I attract as long as you let me be and you go along with my zany attitude, but I am also like my ENFP friend who will stare at interesting-looking people thinking OMG LET'S BE FRIENDS BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU SEEM SO APPEALING!!!

It's probably why I don't feel like I truly have friends because it's more happenstance than actually building a relationship with them.
 

AzulEyes

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...I don't know. I think Fe is more rational and calculating with their relationships (read: more conscious of what they are doing) whereas my interest in people is more spontaneous. One of my ENFP friends once told me that she wanted to be friend a girl ...simply because she thought it would feel good to walk beside her everyday. I don't give a fuck who I attract as long as you let me be and you go along with my zany attitude, but I am also like my ENFP friend who will stare at interesting-looking people thinking OMG LET'S BE FRIENDS BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU SEEM SO APPEALING!!!

It's probably why I don't feel like I truly have friends because it's more happenstance than actually building a relationship with them.


Okay- this conversation made me recall an old post I dug up an INTJ on this forum talked about. Fi vs Fe--- they were spot in -this must be it?

Originally Posted by uumlau
Fi is more "being in tune with others". Fi listens. Fe is more about objectively figuring out how to get people to interact harmoniously. It's more about externalities than about being "in tune."
 

Lady_X

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I can see that with INFPs but it would be at a cost more than an ENFP. Our recovery from hurt might be quicker- we can't STAND being unhappy. INFPs can actually become creative and mystical in their time of pain. I'm probabably way off here- just my view!

Oh no for sure.
 

thoughtlost

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Okay- this conversation made me recall an old post I dug up an INTJ on this forum talked about. Fi vs Fe--- they were spot in -this must be it?

Originally Posted by uumlau
Fi is more "being in tune with others". Fi listens. Fe is more about objectively figuring out how to get people to interact harmoniously. It's more about externalities than about being "in tune."

I don't TRULY know if I am Fe or Fi since the line is blurry for me, but by "in tune" you mean digging in and getting to feel a person out by listening to them... yeah, that's more my style. I say this because I have roommate issues and instead of trying to get one roommate to interact harmoniously with the other roommate... I just listen to her complain and feel out the situation and usually a solution will arise without me actively looking for a solution in the first place.

..idk... but it makes sense with ENFJ's "in charge"-ness whereas ENFPs inspire a bit more?
 

AzulEyes

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I don't TRULY know if I am Fe or Fi since the line is blurry for me, but by "in tune" you mean digging in and getting to feel a person out by listening to them... yeah, that's more my style. I say this because I have roommate issues and instead of trying to get one roommate to interact harmoniously with the other roommate... I just listen to her complain and feel out the situation and usually a solution will arise without me actively looking for a solution in the first place.

..idk... but it makes sense with ENFJ's "in charge"-ness whereas ENFPs inspire a bit more?

Sounds right. I think ENFJ is literally uncomfortable in a room where people are not in harmony.
ENFP would be more apt to zero in on the specifics of the disharmony and council the individuals one on one.
;)
 

thoughtlost

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Sounds right. I think ENFJ is literally uncomfortable in a room where people are not in harmony.
ENFP would be more apt to zero in on the specifics of the disharmony and council the individuals one on one.
;)


...maybe. I don't know. I tend to think I am more Fe even though I am more one-on-one, I am willing to let things be dragged out to get to an understanding. I don't like quick solutions just to get the problem fixed because then people aren't digging into motives ...or whatever.
 

Z Buck McFate

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Okay- this conversation made me recall an old post I dug up an INTJ on this forum talked about. Fi vs Fe--- they were spot in -this must be it?

Originally Posted by uumlau
Fi is more "being in tune with others". Fi listens. Fe is more about objectively figuring out how to get people to interact harmoniously. It's more about externalities than about being "in tune."

I'd kinda like to point out that this was posted by a Fi person (uumlau's comment, I mean). And Fi people agreed. But basically the same thing has been said about Ti people by Ti people. I think we're just 'in tune' with people who think like we do.

The reaction to the op is kinda funny to me, and makes me think a lot of NFPs have no clue how often they actually sound exactly that biased themselves.
 

Amargith

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The difference is that Fi users usually dont state things in a way that is meant to be presenting objective data or hypotheses.

There is no problem with expressing your bias, preferences and opinions as long as you realize its a subjective view. Fi users tend to naturally be inclined to talk from a subjective place. The moment they start to generalize their experiences without verifying and pass them off as Te facts, you have a point though.
 

INTP

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2. Are strong enough to be vulnerable.

I have always seen something similar in ENFPs. I havent seen it as much as being so strong that they can be vulnerable, but being vulnerable in dealing with painful stuff, but yet strong not to get broken by them and like [MENTION=15728]AzulEyes[/MENTION] said; "And if I AM hurt from being vulnerable, I recover quickly. Like who cares? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
 
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