[MBTI General] Oh no I'm a Sensor Racist D:

[Susah]

Have been spending time in my lonely room feeling sorry for myself and how lonely I am, trying to type all my friends who aren't around - as is the custom.

And in particular there is this person in whom I have lately taken an interest. For some reason I seem to have decided he is the most fantastic kindest person in existence, and I should make an effort to get to know him better. At first I had him down as an INFP, but after some consideration I realised that he seems to be more S than N.

And my heart broke (no, really...) Basically, I still think he is one of the nicest people I know and he has been incredibly kind to me. But I seem to think 'how much more of him is there actually to know if he is a Sensor? I already know him superficially - is that it?' I feel like such a horrible person for thinking this. Surely just because you're more concrete than abstract that doesn't mean you have no depth?

I have already tried some fishing with him, and he hasn't responded very much but I don't know to what extent that is just him being reluctant or if he just doesn't have much to say in response to my long-winded vague existential arguments... I'm worried that I have just bored him.

I have another friend who is also an ISFP (this one I'm pretty sure about) and his inability to understand me is actually one of the things I like the most because I feel safe from being judged - he sort of smiles and nods and is all loveliness. But this other guy I somehow really want to understand me and I just really wish he would open up and respond with something interesting. (To be honest I just want anyone at all to do this and am desperately looking for candidates...)

I'm also a bit concerned that I'm perhaps relying too much on MBTI: surely it shouldn't make me change my understanding of someone so completely? But then again it is pretty much the only tool (as far as I'm concerned) to actually get under the skin of people of different temperaments and not have unrealistic expectations...

Oh I don't know...

What do people think? Have you had 'deeper' relationships with Sensors?

 

[RaptorWizard]

I think it's good that you can see in yourself some potential negative effects the "boxing" methods of MBTI can have on us.

I guess we should just interact with people we love in more flowish ways true to the heart.

And just because the kid can't respond to your explorative ideas doesn't necessarily equate with a lack of interest on his part; it just may mean that he isn't quite so adept as you are at processing and constructing those kinds designs.

 

[prplchknz]

i believe that no one's completely n or completely s

 

[greenfairy]

I think what Raptor Wizard said was pretty right on.

I ISFP's. At least the 2 I know. And I know them pretty well. They are pretty simple people in some ways, but that doesn't mean they lack depth or there isn't much to know about them. They do have Ni and Fi. Their emotions are complex, and they learn a lot from their experiences. They can have interesting thoughts. It does seem to be a pattern that they aren't that interested in complex thinking. They're more into learning a lot of facts and then finding patterns in them, or thinking in abstract impressions. Try talking to them about esoteric things or conspiracy theories. All 3 of the ISXP's I know are into them. They probably are also into art, music, film, and physical activities.

I too have found them to be really caring and considerate people, just sweet. And wonderfully affectionate.

 

[greenfairy]

Do you think a difference between INFP and ISFP is that INFP's are more interested in understanding people and being understood? It seems that ISFP's process things more unconsciously in this regard, but they also just do it naturally. Like Ni just knows things and brings them to the surface as needed. INFP's want to conceptualize things more.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I can't speak on behalf of all ISFP's... but I think a big issue is inability to bring to words the thoughts and emotions we experience. It's less a lack of depth, and more a lack in ability to verbalize the internal world. Facts and tangibles are easier to explain, and sometimes you have to jump from concrete example to concrete example with us to piece together the picture we have inside. Because xNFP's are better at verbalizing, we can sometimes feel incompetent and inferior in comparison, and become uncomfortable. So an ISFP changing conversation or coming off as stone cold doesn't necessarily mean disinterest or inability to comprehend. (Though, sometimes that may be the case.) It may just be an unease in coming up with a response.

 

[Forever_Jung]

I can't speak on behalf of all ISFP's... but I think a big issue is inability to bring to words the thoughts and emotions we experience. It's less a lack of depth, and more a lack in ability to verbalize the internal world. Facts and tangibles are easier to explain, and sometimes you have to jump from concrete example to concrete example with us to piece together the picture we have inside. Because xNFP's are better at verbalizing, we can sometimes feel incompetent and inferior in comparison, and become uncomfortable. So an ISFP changing conversation or coming off as stone cold doesn't necessarily mean disinterest or inability to comprehend. (Though, sometimes that may be the case.) It may just be an unease in coming up with a response.

That was awfully well-put for an ISFP...

IMPOSTER!

 

[Sunny Ghost]

That was awfully well-put for an ISFP...

IMPOSTER!

I'm an ISFP who became frustrated with the inability to articulate my thoughts. I worked really hard at developing that side of myself, as it didn't seem to come naturally for me. I had described myself to an INFJ friend as feeling as though I were experiencing a disconnect between my brain and my mouth. Inside I felt chaos that I couldn't explain in words. Journaling + wonderful and inspiring philosophy and english teachers = a pretty dern articulate and loquacious ISFP.

I think the ISFP 6's tend to be the most verbally expressive and 9's the least, with 4's somewhere in the middle.

I feel like the world of Fi and Ni just isn't naturally in the realm of language. And it's sort of what pushes a lot of ISFP's towards the arts or other physical and sensual expression.

 

[Lady_X]

My lil sister was an isfp I think. She had a lot of depth... Just as much as any infp. The only main n/s difference was that she often took things at face value rather than look for deeper meaning. She was very literal and lots of communication issues arose when she assumed any of the intuitive members of my family were. Haha

Out of 5 of us there are just two sensors and they often seemed bored when we were theorizing about stuff or interpreting situations when they saw no need for it.

But neither lacked in interesting ideas or opinions.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

xSFPs are the best people in the world

 

[brainheart]

I can't speak on behalf of all ISFP's... but I think a big issue is inability to bring to words the thoughts and emotions we experience. It's less a lack of depth, and more a lack in ability to verbalize the internal world.

I feel like this, too. I think that more than anything that's being a Fi dom. Jung makes a point of mentioning that about Fi, actually, that unless there is a tremendous amount of artistic ability the inner world of a Fi dom goes unseen and unexplained.

I think what Fi + Ne does is explain itself through metaphor. It's not all that articulate either. I often feel like I have no clue how to express what's inside, but then I'll latch on to something outside of me that I think explains it well. Often it's not all that conscious of a process. For example, I do visual art and I was drawn to this photograph of a man who recently died after a deep sea dive attempt without oxygen. He had this look of panic on his face and I wanted to paint it. Then I started to think about diving deeply with no external support and pushing yourself to this level of interiority that can eventually kill you and I thought, hmm, that explains how I feel a lot of the time.

I read somewhere that ISFPs often have difficulty verbalizing while INFPs often think they have more difficulty than they actually do. Maybe that's the case.

As far as the OP goes, I'm married to an ESFP and I get where you're coming from. I didn't know about MBTI but when we started dating I thought he lacked 'something'. But I loved him so I got over it. I also thought this after we were married for seven years, and that our extremely obvious differences were irreconcilable. But sometimes you do connect with people in certain ways and not in others. I feel like most of our connections are nonverbal and unarticulated. I kind of like that, actually. It makes it more mysterious and complicated. We will never quite figure each other out. But we do share Fi and we do share the pov of an extroverted perceiver, so we aren't all that different. We both like novelty and are pretty open minded.

Also, my kid is an ISFP and we are very close. He is the coolest and I admire many of his qualities. His imagination works in ways I can only dream about. I definitely have more in common with him than, say, most INTJs. (Nothing against INTJs or anything.)

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I feel like this, too. I think that more than anything that's being a Fi dom. Jung makes a point of mentioning that about Fi, actually, that unless there is a tremendous amount of artistic ability the inner world of a Fi dom goes unseen and unexplained.

I think what Fi + Ne does is explain itself through metaphor. It's not all that articulate either. I often feel like I have no clue how to express what's inside, but then I'll latch on to something outside of me that I think explains it well. Often it's not all that conscious of a process. For example, I do visual art and I was drawn to this photograph of a man who recently died after a deep sea dive attempt without oxygen. He had this look of panic on his face and I wanted to paint it. Then I started to think about diving deeply with no external support and pushing yourself to this level of interiority that can eventually kill you and I thought, hmm, that explains how I feel a lot of the time.

I read somewhere that ISFPs often have difficulty verbalizing while INFPs often think they have more difficulty than they actually do. Maybe that's the case.

As far as the OP goes, I'm married to an ESFP and I get where you're coming from. I didn't know about MBTI but when we started dating I thought he lacked 'something'. But I loved him so I got over it. I also thought this after we were married for seven years, and that our extremely obvious differences were irreconcilable. But sometimes you do connect with people in certain ways and not in others. I feel like most of our connections are nonverbal and unarticulated. I kind of like that, actually. It makes it more mysterious and complicated. We will never quite figure each other out. But we do share Fi and we do share the pov of an extroverted perceiver, so we aren't all that different. We both like novelty and are pretty open minded.

Also, my kid is an ISFP and we are very close. He is the coolest and I admire many of his qualities. His imagination works in ways I can only dream about. I definitely have more in common with him than, say, most INTJs. (Nothing against INTJs or anything.)

I'm really interested in dream theory/analyzing for the same reason. I've found using this has helped me to express myself more easily on paper and in art. I tend to pick out certain images I have in my dreams that I think can be freeze framed to explain something important to me in my waking life. I had always thought it was Ni-digging deeper to find a meaning. But then again, Carl Jung is often typed as an INxP, I believe. My dream journal is mostly a collection of drawings, and thanks to this practice, I often try to work it the other way around, too.

 

[brainheart]

I'm really interested in dream theory/analyzing for the same reason. I've found using this has helped me to express myself more easily on paper and in art. I tend to pick out certain images I have in my dreams that I think can be freeze framed to explain something important to me in my waking life. I had always thought it was Ni-digging deeper to find a meaning. But then again, Carl Jung is often typed as an INxP, I believe. My dream journal is mostly a collection of drawings, and thanks to this practice, I often try to work it the other way around, too.

But your dreams are coming from you (Ni). I'm talking about a picture I saw and connecting it to my internal (Ne to explain Fi). Sometimes I get stuff from dreams, but for the most part it seems like Ni users are way more into dream analysis than Ne users. Typically I'm more interested in the feeling of a dream than what it symbolizes.

 

[Showbread]

..

What do people think? Have you had 'deeper' relationships with Sensors?

Well, I am a sensor and I CRAVE deep meaningful relationships. I struggle with relationships stay on the surface, they can sometimes feel pointless. This is probably why the vast majority of my friends are Ns.... Granted, I only favor sensing ever so slightly. But, still. My ISFJ roommate is the one I feel like I have the shallowest relationship with. But I have always attributed this to how shy and emotionally guarded she is, not a lack of depth.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Well, I am a sensor and I CRAVE deep meaningful relationships. I struggle with relationships stay on the surface, they can sometimes feel pointless. This is probably why the vast majority of my friends are Ns.... Granted, I only favor sensing ever so slightly. But, still. My ISFJ roommate is the one I feel like I have the shallowest relationship with. But I have always attributed this to how shy and emotionally guarded she is, not a lack of depth.

I think this may actually be more indicative of being a sexual instinct. I was going to say a feeling type, but I'm certain thinking types must crave this, too. I'm sure someone here would probably know better than I would. But this isn't the pervading school of thought, is it? That sensors detest meaningful relationships?

 

[Susah]

Thanks guys that's really helpful! Great to actually hear from some sensors as well.

I do like the idea that it is to some extent a question of being able to verbalise...

(Also IndyAnnaJoan: I absolutely adore your picture!)

 

[Giggly]

You're so unique and special. Forget about those sensor plebians.

 

[Lady_X]

I think this may actually be more indicative of being a sexual instinct. I was going to say a feeling type, but I'm certain thinking types must crave this, too. I'm sure someone here would probably know better than I would. But this isn't the pervading school of thought, is it? That sensors detest meaningful relationships?

No I've never thought that but I think you might hear an intuitive say that and mean that they want their partner to understand them in ways others do not. Often being an intuitive can make you feel like you're not speaking the same language as everyone else so there's a deeper connection felt when someone actually gets it or you.

Know what I mean?

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

i believe that no one's completely n or completely s

this^

 

[Randomnity]

I've been told by a few people IRL that I'm "deep" and it's always baffled me...isn't everyone deep? Humans are such wonderfully complex creatures. It's just that not everyone bothers to go past the superficial layers. But there's always something under there, if you actually look for it. Many people don't, I've found.

Of course, maybe everyone else only seems deep to me because I'm just a simple sensor.

I do understand what you mean by wanting a deeper relationship, though. Some people don't really share their inner selves with a partner, even after a long time dating. I suspect that'd be correlated with I and S, perhaps Fi as well. My last relationship was kinda like that, despite all my efforts - I don't think there's much you can do to get someone to share the deeper parts of themselves if it's very against their nature. However, I think there are intuitives like that, and sensors who are not like that. I wouldn't rule out this guy just yet. MBTI isn't really intended for that kind of thing anyway - it's more of an understanding/communicating tool than a filtering tool.