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  1. #51
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    A little late to the party... that is typical of me. Yet since I am an NF I thought I would add a little to the discussion.

    I do tend to fall into a predictable rut of routine and repetition. Yet to know me is to learn that there is nothing ordinary or boring about me. I am one who doesn't just fork over that knowledge either, you gotta earn it, you gotta work for it you gotta show me that you're interested and then and only then will you see it. Or you just have to ply me with some alcohol and I become the life of every party and am talked about for years afterwards
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
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    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  2. #52
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    To go back to the idea that NFs avoid conflict . . . Yes, we often do whenever we can. We value harmony and peace, but there are times when, because what we value is at stake, we are more than capable of fighting and fighting hard knowing full well that we will lose, but not being able to stop because it has to be fought.

    As far as being boring on INTPc . . . an NF has to watch carefully what s/he says there. They have to always be conscious of being accused of being too emotional or having what they say dismissed for no other reason than two letters in their profile. If NFs are boring there, they have a good excuse for being so.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #53
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I find myself pretty bloody boring, but that's probably just due to overexposure. Everywhere I go, there I am. I just can't get away from me. The people I find interesting are the people who are willing to have or show unusual thoughts. Crackpots and heretics. I hate it when people continually give you either balanced perspectives or balancing perspectives. Forget the balance. If I give an unbalanced perspective then push me further. Don't correct me. Don't show me the bigger picture. You don't get epiphanies by considering all sides of the argument. Which is why I find NTs interesting to talk to. Driven by logic they have fewer factors to consider in forming opinions. Thus they are more often to get it spectacularly wrong. I guess there's an element of schadenfreude there, but it isn't just that. Exposure to new thoughts is gold for an introvert. It means exposure to new stimuli and makes your world a bigger place. I've rarely gotten that from someone presenting a balanced perspective. A balanced, tested perspective is essentially a regurgitated meal. I find that Ti and Fi tends to satisfy me personally in supplying what I crave from other people.
    I love this post.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
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    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
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  4. #54
    Senior Member indigo2020's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Hey, I did say to be fair that every ENFP and ENFJ I've known was great fun. It's just that some INF's I've known have been that way, the whole "if you haven't anything nice to say then don't say anything" vibe... gets annoying when you actually want to get to know someone - all of them, including their negative side. Or just to be able to judge for yourself what parts of them you consider negative - but they'll only share their fluffy side.

    Like I said 'over there', it's not so much that I think the INFJ that I mentioned is actually boring - she has a personality alright, and she's intelligent - but God knows what it takes for her to actually feel like showing it!!
    I gotta say, this is quite a prejudice. You are saying all INF's are boring because of 1 INFJ you know? That is ridiculous. Maybe there are people that think you are boring, or arrogant, or whatever. I certainly do not just say "something nice" or nothing at all. Trust me. I may not be as vocal as others but I do tell my friends the truth. I am quite intelligent and I am certainly not boring.

    How many INF's do you know besides this one woman INFJ? And if she is soooo boring, why are you "friends" with her? Give me a break. I would not be "friends" with someone I found as boring as you consider her to be.
    People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
    Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
    US cartoonist (1958 - )

  5. #55
    Senior Member Cerpin_Taxt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by indigo2020 View Post
    I gotta say, this is quite a prejudice. You are saying all INF's are boring because of 1 INFJ you know? That is ridiculous. Maybe there are people that think you are boring, or arrogant, or whatever. I certainly do not just say "something nice" or nothing at all. Trust me. I may not be as vocal as others but I do tell my friends the truth. I am quite intelligent and I am certainly not boring.

    How many INF's do you know besides this one woman INFJ? And if she is soooo boring, why are you "friends" with her? Give me a break. I would not be "friends" with someone I found as boring as you consider her to be.
    To be honest if you read the post he didn't actually call her boring, just passive.

  6. #56
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    To go back to the idea that NFs avoid conflict . . . Yes, we often do whenever we can. We value harmony and peace, but there are times when, because what we value is at stake, we are more than capable of fighting and fighting hard knowing full well that we will lose, but not being able to stop because it has to be fought.
    Well said. I will add that the people who just enjoy stirring up trouble can come in all flavors. Personally, I find most trouble makers predictable and annoying, possibly even boring. If that is the primary factor that makes life interesting for a person, that's one pathetic person imo. Who says that NFs always avoid conflict? I do choose my battles, but the battles I choose to fight, I win. I'm not sure I would fight to lose. There might be a circumstance, but I do try to adapt to get results.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    As far as being boring on INTPc . . . an NF has to watch carefully what s/he says there. They have to always be conscious of being accused of being too emotional or having what they say dismissed for no other reason than two letters in their profile. If NFs are boring there, they have a good excuse for being so.
    There is a problem of constant misinterpretation from some people there. It can feel like walking through a muddy field in goulashes.

    I don't know about the thread there and don't care to read it, but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  7. #57
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I don't know about the thread there and don't care to read it, but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb.
    If you ask me, I think this is the root of the problem: that NF's personalise everything. What you see as someone childishly putting people down is usually, from their point of view, nothing of the sort. They're just voicing their objections to what they perceive as a falsehood or error (the WORDS or IDEA, not the PERSON), or making and speculating over observations. You imply judgement and personal intent where none exists, and I think that's what the NT's over there get fed up with - constantly being called 'mean' and 'childish' and attributed with motives that couldn't be farther from their minds, like NF's can't just listen to the words that are being said and understand the ideas and talk to the ideas, but instead have to always keep looking for and inventing motives for them that don't exist.

    This is a prime example - the NT is trying to express himself, to present an observation (simultaneously acknowledging that the observation might be in error and is by no means comprehensive) and reach some kind of understanding about the matter, trying to say that he feels frustrated by NF's he knows that are interesting people, not sharing their interesting side with him when he's interested in them and values their opinions but only seems to be able to get neutral, 'boring' conversation out of them, but all the NF does is take it as a personal criticism and rather than explain why they do that, or acknowledge the value that's being placed in them or notice the NT wanting to connect with them, or explain how the NT could alter the way he speaks in a way that would encourage them to open up more, they just start saying he's 'being mean' and accusing anyone who just isn't afraid to voice their opinions in the face of possible conflict, of being a childish, trouble stirring attention seeker.

    NT's usually go to great lengths to express themselves as clearly as possible, to dot every i and cross every t, and say exactly what they mean. But it seems to me that all the care and effort I put into choosing my words is pointless because the NF doesn't listen to them and instead focuses on trying to imagine WHY I'm saying them - rather than asking me why I'm saying them so that I can speak for myself.

    And if that isn't invalidating, I don't know what is!!

  8. #58
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    NT's usually go to great lengths to express themselves as clearly as possible, to dot every i and cross every t, and say exactly what they mean. But it seems to me that all the care and effort I put into choosing my words is pointless because the NF doesn't listen to them and instead focuses on trying to imagine WHY I'm saying them
    I can't agree with you here. Often NTs keep their true motives and intentions hidden and never say exactly what they mean. Asking "why" and questioning the motives behind a statement is in no way exclusive to NFs. I practically do that with every statement that I hear/read. I've never found NTs to be the type to state things in an obvious manner.

    And as far crossing i's and dotting t's is concerned, that may be true in the real world, but on certain internet forums NTs can make idiotic, lazy assertions and expect those statements to be treated like gold simply because of their type.

  9. #59
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    This is a prime example - the NT is trying to express himself, to present an observation (simultaneously acknowledging that the observation might be in error and is by no means comprehensive) and reach some kind of understanding about the matter, trying to say that he feels frustrated by NF's he knows that are interesting people, not sharing their interesting side with him when he's interested in them and values their opinions but only seems to be able to get neutral, 'boring' conversation out of them, but all the NF does is take it as a personal criticism and rather than explain why they do that, or acknowledge the value that's being placed in them or notice the NT wanting to connect with them, or explain how the NT could alter the way he speaks in a way that would encourage them to open up more, they just start saying he's 'being mean' and accusing anyone who just isn't afraid to voice their opinions in the face of possible conflict, of being a childish, trouble stirring attention seeker.
    Then this is an example where I should have gone to read the thread. I made the false assumption that it was basically a rant, which are commonplace on the internet. The question as it is posed: "Are NF's boring?" does not imply anything like what you just described. The title words should be chosen with more care to communicate their true meaning. Something like: "Do NF's hide what is most interesting about them?" Or something better articulated than that. The question as it is put is reasonably interpreted as a rant w/o much thought put into it because it uses a sweeping generalization expressed in derogatory wording. Seriously, you don't see that?

    I was matching derogatory wording with derogatory wording. Also when I say something like... but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb. it is intended as an 'if the shoe fits' type of comment. It was not as conclusive as you assumed. That's why I included a disclaimer of having not read it. I didn't read the thread BUT if it meant what it sounds like then... - Not a conclusion, but an observation that may or may not apply. Although, I do think that assuming an enormous category of people are boring is childish, etc. Does that make sense?

    (this is also an example of an NF having to explain why it isn't emotional in the way someone has assumed.)
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #60
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    I can't agree with you here. Often NTs keep their true motives and intentions hidden and never say exactly what they mean. Asking "why" and questioning the motives behind a statement is in no way exclusive to NFs. I practically do that with every statement that I hear/read. I've never found NTs to be the type to state things in an obvious manner.

    And as far crossing i's and dotting t's is concerned, that may be true in the real world, but on certain internet forums NTs can make idiotic, lazy assertions and expect those statements to be treated like gold simply because of their type.
    Well yeah maybe, but I know I'm innocent of that!! At least, of that intent. I might sometimes be a bit sloppy, but if I'm called up on it, I don't expect the other person to treat my sloppy statement and lazy thinking 'like gold', and I'm happy if they point out an over-generalisation (like you just did, heh, thanks!).

    I know some NT's are like that more often than not, but also some NF's are paranoid bunny boilers, but it wouldn't be fair for me to assume they all are, or to attribute motives to them as though they were before I had any real proof, so I'm saying it's not fair for NF's to always assume that anyone showing NT traits automatically therefore has all the possible negative trademarks and is showing them right now, when they've no proof.

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