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Thread: ENFJ problem

  1. #1
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    Default ENFJ problem

    Why. WHY. am I constantly judged for being myself when I'm around ENFJ's?

    My clothing is wrong. My music is wrong.

    The other day this ENFJ told me, "you'd like this music."

    So I listened to it, and it was this pussy shit that sucked.

    So I rebelled by blasting some velvet acid christ and Ryuichi Sakamoto - Anger.

    I don't realize I do this, but I do.

    The other day I yelled at my INFJ friend for no damn reason. He was sitting on my right being his usually free spirit self, and ENFJ was hovering in the kitchen. I could feel his judgement.

    For some reason I felt he didn't approve. And INFJ kept fucking talking and being himself while I was in front of ENFJ.

    So at the end of the day I went crazy and yelled at the INFJ getting him to back off and stop talking to me. But then I realized I only did that because ENFJ wanted me to. So now I'm mad at ENFJ.

    I feel like a crazy person. Can someone explain to me what's going on?

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    You're busy taming your Fe

    Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it *pats head*


    Edit:

    Ok, I'll add something to it. It seems you're in the throws of working out which social protocols you relate to and which ones you disagree with and the nuanced situations put you on the fence as you haven't figured it out that far yet. But, being ESTP, I suspect you'll figure it out as you find yourself more and more in those situations and get frustrated. At some point, you'll have experienced enough of them while paying attention to them up close to navigate those and know what you stand for without even blinking an eye

    Also, you probably should apologise and explain what was going on to your friends. Trust me, they'll love you more for it.

    Also, let's see if our more experienced, ever amazing resident ESTP energiser bunny can help you out. Oh, @Halla74 ...who's the biggest protector of mankind of them all??
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    I really feel like you've touched on something here that the... entire population of the world may also be able to relate to...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I really feel like you've touched on something here that the... entire population of the world may also be able to relate to...
    Hah. Even other ENFJs. I sometimes feel like strangling other ENFJs. But more generally, I get the sense that 99% of the world will disapprove of some aspects of one's being.

  5. #5

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    I noticed, that Fe do this really often. I have this ESFJ friend and if I don't like music she does I am wierd, if I don't like clothes she does I have a terrible taste, if someone trys to argue with her and explain another point of view, there is no way she would ever accept anything else than her opinion no matter how hard you try to reason with her...she would just think you're wierd.. Why EFJs?

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    Hmm don't Fe doms have a tendency to accept the social conscience and social values as the unquestionable and self-evident truth of things?

    You could try beating them at their own game. Make them feel they are falling short. Look one in the eye with a straight face and tell them that you are very disappointed in them.

  7. #7
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    Your reaction sounds exactly like something I'd do if someone tried to force something on me. Except I'd blast, like, crust punk. Same concept, really.

    Match this person pound-for-pound and let 'em know you're not gonna take that bullshit. Pushy people need to be taught what boundaries are.

    /enfj

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    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Why. WHY. am I constantly judged for being myself when I'm around ENFJ's?

    My clothing is wrong. My music is wrong.

    The other day this ENFJ told me, "you'd like this music."

    So I listened to it, and it was this pussy shit that sucked.

    So I rebelled by blasting some velvet acid christ and Ryuichi Sakamoto - Anger.

    I don't realize I do this, but I do.

    The other day I yelled at my INFJ friend for no damn reason. He was sitting on my right being his usually free spirit self, and ENFJ was hovering in the kitchen. I could feel his judgement.

    For some reason I felt he didn't approve. And INFJ kept fucking talking and being himself while I was in front of ENFJ.

    So at the end of the day I went crazy and yelled at the INFJ getting him to back off and stop talking to me. But then I realized I only did that because ENFJ wanted me to. So now I'm mad at ENFJ.

    I feel like a crazy person. Can someone explain to me what's going on?
    Have you considered the possibility that your clothing and music choices actually are wrong?



    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Your reaction sounds exactly like something I'd do if someone tried to force something on me. Except I'd blast, like, crust punk. Same concept, really.
    Same here. Except I'd blast FREEZING COLD SILENCE, WHILST SLOWLY DISAPPEARING INTO THE SHADOWS.....FOREVER.

    /infj

    And I agree with "let 'em know you're not gonna take that bullshit." My guess is that they're just being clumsy and not realizing they're coming across as trying to force their choices on people. Just push back.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Your reaction sounds exactly like something I'd do if someone tried to force something on me. Except I'd blast, like, crust punk. Same concept, really.

    Match this person pound-for-pound and let 'em know you're not gonna take that bullshit. Pushy people need to be taught what boundaries are.

    /enfj
    lmao.

    that's quite genius really. The next time he suggests shitty music to me, I'll suggest some rebecca black and tell him it fits his style.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Have you considered the possibility that your clothing and music choices actually are wrong?
    maybe in kookoo ville where people don't think for themselves.

    Same here. Except I'd blast FREEZING COLD SILENCE, WHILST SLOWLY DISAPPEARING INTO THE SHADOWS.....FOREVER.

    /infj
    hahaha

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