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Thread: Ask an INFP

  1. #61
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    Give an example of that, please.
    As in, elaborate the point or giving a realistic example?
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  2. #62
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    As in, elaborate the point or giving a realistic example?
    How about both?

  3. #63
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    How about both?
    Something like, wanting to spend lots of time doing things together. Clinging around at the goodbyes. Letting me know spending time with me is the most comfortable thing to them. Texting "I miss you already" 5 minutes after driving off. Wanting me to hang out with his crowd and wanting to hang out with my crowd. Constantly checking up on each other when away. I can handle higher level of neediness than that.
    THAT coming from a person who has a job, take care of themselves and others, has hobbies and passions, has their own opinions and stands.

    I have met people who are somewhat like that.
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  4. #64
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    How do you INFPs deal with touch? Example: Physical affection.

  5. #65
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    How do you INFPs deal with touch? Example: Physical affection.
    Er... I tend to feel rather uncomfortable being touched by a large portion of folks. However, touching is what I intensely desire from my romantic partner, as it's how affection and intimacy is communicated. I wonder if it's my sp/sx talking.
    Last edited by Arctic Hysteria; 11-06-2014 at 02:04 AM.
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  6. #66
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    Er... I tend to feel rather uncomfortable being touched by a large portion of folks. However, touching is what I intensely desire my romantic partner, as it's how affection and intimacy is communicated. I wonder if it's my sp/sx talking.
    How would one place that in context of neediness? When does touch become uncomfortable by the romantic partner?

  7. #67
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deceptive View Post
    As you know, INFP is a self-effacing type, we're rarely jealous of others and project that good intention onto others. How do you respond to jealousy? I don't mean jealous feelings, I mean people being jealous of you, having bad intentions for you? I find it makes me uncomfortable, releases the monster within me, I struggle to comprehend it.
    Yes, it makes me uncomfortable and I struggle to understand it, often not really accepting that they could be jealous, and so seeking another explanation for their behavior. I can feel apologetic and angry at the same time; I can feel angry that someone is making me feel apologetic for my strengths, as if I am only allowed to be weak and pitiable and be likable. I suppose stronger sx in a 4 brings anger closer to the surface. It's really a frustration at feeling like I am self-deprecating and not tooting my own horn much of the time, and yet, when I do have a positive trait, others get threatened by it so I must "downplay it".

    I relate to @Arctic Hysteria saying that an elephant in the room bugs her and may compel her to confront someone. However, I can second-guess my interpretation of what is going on and can allow projecting "good intentions" to lead to giving too much benefit of the doubt when there is not that much room for doubt. I will hang onto a thread of possibility that something else is the reason... that it has nothing to do with me, for example. However, I end up taking it personally (because it is), but will see it more as ME being unlikable/flawed and not the other person's pettiness. Finally accepting that some people have been nasty to me out of jealousy has been healthy for me, because I see their poor treatment it's not a reflection of any flaw in me.

    Once I reach a point where I am quite sure jealousy is the culprit, then I may not need any closure from the person - I likely will just ignore them or cut them off as much as I can. Otherwise, I will let them know I know what's up, that way they don't try to emotionally manipulate me or others regarding me (which such people often try to do - aka sabotage you).

    Oddly enough, because I can be rather oblivious and not prone to suspicion, this makes me harder to emotionally manipulate than you might think....naiveté can work in my favor, as I am too obtuse to be drawn in by these people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Standing Here View Post
    What kind of a partner does an INFP female want? In short bullet points, and without physical attributes pls...
    Oh how we love such lists...but short?! :P

    - shared/compatible goals, values, interests, beliefs, etc
    - very intelligent, preferably of the intellectual variety
    - kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, humility
    - high integrity, strong morals, developed spirituality
    - affectionate, intimate, passionate, has a sensual side and emotional depth
    - someone I can deeply respect, greatly admire, and find very charming
    - can open my eyes to new ways/perspectives/etc
    - more sociable & organized than me would be good, also assertive and direct (I don't get hints very well)
    - appreciation & admiration for my strengths and areas of talent
    - will put up with and even like my navel-gazing and philosophical rants
    - icing on the cake: likes the arts, culture, novelty, & theoretical stuff, can be spontaneous and adventurous, not stuck in the doldrums
    - wants an "us against the world" dynamic, to be very close, but you know, still give me my space :P
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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  8. #68
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    - appreciation & admiration for my strengths and areas of talent
    - will put up with and even like my navel-gazing and philosophical rants



    - icing on the cake: likes the arts, culture, novelty, & theoretical stuff, can be spontaneous and adventurous, not stuck in the doldrums

    (Though this quality could make half of my cake, not just the icing.)


    - wants an "us against the world" dynamic, to be very close, but you know, still give me my space
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  9. #69
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Oh how we love such lists...but short?! :P

    - shared/compatible goals, values, interests, beliefs, etc
    - very intelligent, preferably of the intellectual variety
    - kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, humility
    - high integrity, strong morals, developed spirituality
    - affectionate, intimate, passionate, has a sensual side and emotional depth
    - someone I can deeply respect, greatly admire, and find very charming
    - can open my eyes to new ways/perspectives/etc
    - more sociable & organized than me would be good, also assertive and direct (I don't get hints very well)
    - appreciation & admiration for my strengths and areas of talent
    - will put up with and even like my navel-gazing and philosophical rants
    - icing on the cake: likes the arts, culture, novelty, & theoretical stuff, can be spontaneous and adventurous, not stuck in the doldrums
    - wants an "us against the world" dynamic, to be very close, but you know, still give me my space :P
    ^THIS. Except for the spirituality - I don't care either way as long as they're not judgey about my views.

    I especially like that last one, OA. Inspiring that level of intimacy is the most important thing of all really. Personally, all the other things are just the stuff that enables that. Of course the space aspect is important too, but that's related to the idea of building the right sort of bond (ie. the kind that we don't have to be joined at the hip to remain very close).

    I personally would add to the list:

    - A good conversationalist (ie. we have good conversational chemistry)
    - Someone I can be comfortable with (ie. inspires trust, honesty and openness in me and doesn't betray that).
    - Non-judgemental
    - Humour

    But perhaps that's the social dom in me.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte
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  10. #70
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    Quote Originally Posted by taylord View Post
    Ask me anything, and you shall receive an answer.
    do you spike your hair up and die it pink or blue like the Jetson family?
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    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

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