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Thread: Ask an INFP

  1. #91
    Senior Member blahblahbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Star View Post
    Or ENTJ - my mom usually dismisses my crying/complaining. Then again, it's probably justified.
    I like to be there when people break up or are having a really hard time in their relationship or are feeling worthless or unloved or whatever... I do get tired of minutia complaining.

    I've had really horrific stuff done to me as a kid and some stuff later as an adult as it was quite a powerful and wealthy child trafficking ring - both times when I asked for help I was ignored so I don't like to do that to other people who are suffering.

    Prepare for my wrath if you lie to me for my sympathy though...

  2. #92
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blahblahbob View Post
    I like to be there when people break up or are having a really hard time in their relationship or are feeling worthless or unloved or whatever... I do get tired of minutia complaining.

    I've had really horrific stuff done to me as a kid and some stuff later as an adult as it was quite a powerful and wealthy child trafficking ring - both times when I asked for help I was ignored so I don't like to do that to other people who are suffering.

    Prepare for my wrath if you lie to me for my sympathy though...
    Oh dear sorry to hear about that
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  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by taylord View Post
    Ask me anything, and you shall receive an answer.
    wow! Thanks Taylord
    My question at the moment is a very tedious and boring one that it seems many people ask, but which is bothering me greatly. Basically, am I an infp or an enfp?
    The thing is, compared to an ISTJ I seem like an ENFP, but compared to an ENFP I seem like an ISTJ!! As in, I can be chatty and fun, in fact, full of energy, sometimes. At other times, I am quiet, serious and even quite strict.
    The people I know who are ENFP's seem to go out and do A LOT more than me too. Compared to them, I am the stable one - serious, wise and sensible. Compare to truly serious and sensible people, however, I seem like a true extroverted wild child. As a kid, I actually was a bit of a wild child, but also very 'good' too, wanted to be good, to help people, kind of deep, you know, as well as curious ..
    Also, I am happy on my own, doing things in my own time, meeting strangers is fun, but I don't like feeling obliged to freinds or making lots of appointments. I hate interruptions and am often irritated (at first) if someone turns up, though usually it energises me and I LOVE being with people once Ive got in the flow, generally. Love parties etc. Also, I am verbal and engaging, but not funny or fast talking like Sandra Bullock and other ENFP's. I seem more conventional, despite genuinely liking crazy people and feeling like they are more normal than anyone else ...
    Am I making sense? I'd really like HELP from a kind hearted and patient INFP out there who might be able to see the wood for the trees for me ... THANKS!!
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  4. #94
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Do you feel misunderstood?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
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    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    dear pet INFPs (you are sometimes pets only when I'm asking a question that might hurt) how do you feel about dying? (I'm not saying to die now you can if you want but I don't wish it upon you) but how do you feel in general about dying? yourself and others
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #96
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    I don't really think about dying. A few times I've gotten really sick and then it's scared me - there's so much more I want to do! I want to be part of the word! etc - but otherwise it seems like a very remote possibility that I'll deal with when I got to it. As a kid I frequently had self-pitying, romantic thoughts about how tragic it would be if I died but of course, I had no true comprehension of death at that age in the slightest.

    When I think about people I love dying, or anyone dying, I get emotional and extremely sad and upset. I find it hard to look at pictures in the newspaper that involve people dying, e.g. recently children whose parents had died of Ebola, people in war, etc. It's extremely painful and I feel destroyed and angry and impotent (because I want to help but can't) and it's hard for me to process. When it affects me like that I'll start talking to people about it or showing them what I saw and trying to get them to understand the strength of my feeling and it's frustrating if they don't engage. I feel a big urge to make everyone look and see how terrible and awful it is so that something can be done, or at least, the people who it is happening to can be felt for.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    I don't really think about dying. A few times I've gotten really sick and then it's scared me - there's so much more I want to do! I want to be part of the word! etc - but otherwise it seems like a very remote possibility that I'll deal with when I got to it. As a kid I frequently had self-pitying, romantic thoughts about how tragic it would be if I died but of course, I had no true comprehension of death at that age in the slightest.

    When I think about people I love dying, or anyone dying, I get emotional and extremely sad and upset. I find it hard to look at pictures in the newspaper that involve people dying, e.g. recently children whose parents had died of Ebola, people in war, etc. It's extremely painful and I feel destroyed and angry and impotent (because I want to help but can't) and it's hard for me to process. When it affects me like that I'll start talking to people about it or showing them what I saw and trying to get them to understand the strength of my feeling and it's frustrating if they don't engage. I feel a big urge to make everyone look and see how terrible and awful it is so that something can be done, or at least, the people who it is happening to can be felt for.
    No offence but you sound like a Fe user to me, and probably a 9 or a 2, not a 4.

    I will explain: Fi users do not feel the suffering of others as our own because our Feeling is directed inward. We have to compare somebody else's suffering to our own feelings because that is our point of reference (in other words, to empathise with somebody, I imagine how I would have felt in their shoes). You feel like you can experience other people's hurts directly. That is Fe typified. The above does not make Fi selfish, only that we see people as fundamentally different and unique, not fundamentally the same, because that would violate our sense of self. These sentiments are contrary to what you have expressed. Your animation and desire to share your feelings with others (society generally) is also not particularly Fi or 4-like.
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  8. #98
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    That's interesting. I've taken the test a number of times over the years and always gotten 4! But when I am feeling the hurt I AM imagining myself in their shoes. I'm thinking what if that was my mother and me or one of my siblings and me and that's when it's too painful to handle. When I want to share with other people, it's because I feel like a big injustice is happening by people not paying enough attention to the pain of other people. Historically though my family has always been involved in activism, political causes, etc. so maybe it comes from that?

  9. #99
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    Just took the free, quick test on the enneagram institute website and got:

    Type 4 (8 out of 8), and equal amounts types 1, 9 and 3 (5 out of 8).

    The enneagram quiz website gave me: 4w5

  10. #100
    Senior Member Ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Do you feel misunderstood?
    Sort of.

    People are very far from me. Like we're on different levels or in different planes. It seems like some people can...cross barriers? They influence each other in weird ways. I don't have that. It's not something I fully understand.

    I do feel incomprehensible a lot of the time. It's a matter of figuring out what people are asking me and what it is I want to say, which takes time, and I'm usually too lazy and disinclined to do it. When I do bother speaking up and people don't understand what I'm saying, there's disappointment and the thought that I have to go back to the drawing board to figure out where it went wrong. Usually, I just let it be. It's too difficult to get right.

    I think I misunderstand other people more than they misunderstand me, or maybe it's that when people don't understand it's less egregious because I no longer expect them to get it. (Though it's pleasantly surprising when they do.) There are always going to be gaps and areas of disconnect. It's just one of those things.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    dear pet INFPs (you are sometimes pets only when I'm asking a question that might hurt) how do you feel about dying? (I'm not saying to die now you can if you want but I don't wish it upon you) but how do you feel in general about dying? yourself and others
    I don't want to die. I feel like there's an expiration date stamped on me, and it makes me uncomfortable to think about. I feel like certain things need to be accomplished before I die, yet I haven't pushed myself to do them. So they hang over my head, these things I need to do but can't. The thought of death being outside of my control frustrates me, so I don't think about it unless I'm moping or using fiction as a way to detach from it and think about it more clearly.

    To me, death is wasted potential. When people die, especially young or in their prime, their goals won't be realized. They'll miss out on experiences and epiphanies. I imagine everyone has things they want to do, and dying means they can no longer do them.

    When people I know die, it doesn't feel like they're really dead. As long as my thoughts about them are intact they're still alive to me. There's a collection of images and feelings I can refer to. They're still safely tucked away in my mind. (I wonder if people are more conceptual to me than physical.) The memories inevitably fade or blur, so those people seem vague, like dreams.

    The problem is when someone else is distraught about a loss. Their distress makes it devastating in a visceral way, and I don't know what to do with that.

    No one close to me has died. That might be different, but thinking about the loss of loved ones feels like tempting fate.
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