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  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    @nicolita,

    FWIW, I actually initially identified as 4w3, as my core type, and have since moved from that through a few other ideas to 6w7-2w3-9w1. I had some of the same thoughts as you, which was that I "feel" like a 4 in many ways. Artistic, aesthetic, individualist, moody, angsty. But as far as I can tell, you are very similar to me in that you do not see in the same way a 4 does even though you share a lot of 4 "content".

    In terms of individuality, I think that's common to 7s in general. Most seem to have a good grip on being themselves and enjoying it. And certainly all NFPs share the internal focus on defining and expressing who they are via choice, both internal and external. Also w6 will give you a little reactive/defensive quality, so note that if you're fighting to be perceived fairly and correctly, that would be a very w6ish sort of behavior.

    From everything you've described thus far, your fixes sound accurate.

    @Chanaynay do you feel like taking pleasure in unfavorable work is a w3 thing? I would have thought it was more of a w1 thing, like being the most ethical person and taking one for the team. You're right about the "beauty" phrasing but I have to admit that while I see doing thankless work as a lovely gesture, I don't know how often I'd be willing to really actually do it. Maybe if I was feeling extra charitable or if I could persuade a friend to help me. And then I'd still probably tell people about it because I'd desire recognition. That's selfish of me, but I guess at least I'm honest about it?

  2. #12
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    @Chanaynay do you feel like taking pleasure in unfavorable work is a w3 thing? I would have thought it was more of a w1 thing, like being the most ethical person and taking one for the team. You're right about the "beauty" phrasing but I have to admit that while I see doing thankless work as a lovely gesture, I don't know how often I'd be willing to really actually do it. Maybe if I was feeling extra charitable or if I could persuade a friend to help me. And then I'd still probably tell people about it because I'd desire recognition. That's selfish of me, but I guess at least I'm honest about it?
    Hmm, I guess it depends on your motives for actually participating in it. I agree that I don't see or find myself willingly participating in thankless work that often and I would definitely tell people about it for recognition as well so I guess the way @nicolita said it (real service that makes her happy to do) seems more 2w1-ish although I think hearing her intentions behind it would be helpful. I genuinely want to do things for people but I also desire some attention and praise for it - the whole "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" thing. Having my warm intentions go unappreciated makes me feel like I was used like a tool or something, while I would assume a 2w1 would be more okay with it because it was the right thing to do either way. So where nicolita stands on that situation should be a tell to whether she's w3 or w1.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  3. #13
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Hmm, I guess it depends on your motives for actually participating in it. I agree that I don't see or find myself willingly participating in thankless work that often and I would definitely tell people about it for recognition as well so I guess the way @nicolita said it (real service that makes her happy to do) seems more 2w1-ish although I think hearing her intentions behind it would be helpful. I genuinely want to do things for people but I also desire some attention and praise for it - the whole "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" thing. Having my warm intentions go unappreciated makes me feel like I was used like a tool or something, while I would assume a 2w1 would be more okay with it because it was the right thing to do either way. So where nicolita stands on that situation should be a tell to whether she's w3 or w1.
    Well, let me try to explain.

    I definitely think I approach it with the "it was the right thing to do anyway" mindset. It's nice to be recognized, but I really do get like internal satisfaction from helping others and don't feel like I expect them to help me in return. Aside from that, when I read about 2w3, I picture someone like organizing people to help or like rallying people. That whole idea kinda freaks me out to be honest. I don't have any desire to like manage people or try to convince them to to participate in any kind of activity. I much prefer a more discrete, thankless way of helping because that makes me feel better about it. I like to do it on a private, personal level. The more custom-tailored the help, the better.

    I seriously loved being a waitress because I enjoyed being patient with people, giving them options when they didn't realize they had them, and making special orders so the person got *exactly* what they wanted. Of course I was working for tips, but that really didn't affect the joy I got out of my job (the tips weren't that great, because I did tend to get a little frazzled and overwhelmed when I got busy, and sometimes made mistakes as a result). Also the same reason I choose to work in a low-income school. I just like the thankless dirty work lol.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  4. #14
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    @nicolita,

    I think your tritype sounds accurate based on my interactions with you. I do wonder, though, about your instinctual variant. I think you're more likely to be so/sx than sx/so. You have more of an so-dom quality to you than an sx-dom one in that you're vibe is more light and dispersed rather than that focused intensity that sx-doms have.

    You also seem to have a more social orientation in that you seem to focus a lot of your attention on the comfort and well-being of the group, as opposed to in a one-to-one fashion. I'm contrasting you with myself in that my two fix tends to reveal itself more in my intimate connections. I have that twoish desire to serve others as well as to love and be loved, but it's pretty much reserved for my intimates. Whereas, I get the impression from you that in an ideal world for you, you'd be surrounded by love in a more universal, communal sense.

    Anyways. That's just my take.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    @nicolita,

    I think your tritype sounds accurate based on my interactions with you. I do wonder, though, about your instinctual variant. I think you're more likely to be so/sx than sx/so. You have more of an so-dom quality to you than an sx-dom one in that you're vibe is more light and dispersed rather than that focused intensity that sx-doms have.

    You also seem to have a more social orientation in that you seem to focus a lot of your attention on the comfort and well-being of the group, as opposed to in a one-to-one fashion. I'm contrasting you with myself in that my two fix tends to reveal itself more in my intimate connections. I have that twoish desire to serve others as well as to love and be loved, but it's pretty much reserved for my intimates. Whereas, I get the impression from you that in an ideal world for you, you'd be surrounded by love in a more universal, communal sense.

    Anyways. That's just my take.
    I gotta say at this point, I think my instinctual variant is the part I'm least sure of. I was originally typed so/sx, but switched.

    The bolded part is absolutely true lol.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Well, let me try to explain.

    I definitely think I approach it with the "it was the right thing to do anyway" mindset. It's nice to be recognized, but I really do get like internal satisfaction from helping others and don't feel like I expect them to help me in return. Aside from that, when I read about 2w3, I picture someone like organizing people to help or like rallying people. That whole idea kinda freaks me out to be honest. I don't have any desire to like manage people or try to convince them to to participate in any kind of activity. I much prefer a more discrete, thankless way of helping because that makes me feel better about it. I like to do it on a private, personal level. The more custom-tailored the help, the better.

    I seriously loved being a waitress because I enjoyed being patient with people, giving them options when they didn't realize they had them, and making special orders so the person got *exactly* what they wanted. Of course I was working for tips, but that really didn't affect the joy I got out of my job (the tips weren't that great, because I did tend to get a little frazzled and overwhelmed when I got busy, and sometimes made mistakes as a result). Also the same reason I choose to work in a low-income school. I just like the thankless dirty work lol.
    Yeah...2w1. I could go more in-depth but I trust that you know why.

    I must admit I do get an so/sx-ish vibe from you like WUR was saying. At the same time your posts seem less socially filtered and more raw than mine, since we'd have almost the exact same type if you were so/sx. Have you ever heard of subwings? Perhaps finding out your subwings could provide some insight.

    Subwings

    The descriptions are nice but some are a tad vague, I think it's basically defining the extent which your dominant wing is stronger than your secondary(?) wing. For example, I rarely have 8-ish qualities and am more support-oriented than most 7s so I'm 7w6(sw6w5) rather than 7w6(sw8w7). I also think that if your subwing is your secondary(??? swear I'm forgetting the proper term) wing then your core type is emphasized more. For example, I'm 7w6(sw6w5) and @Elfboy is 7w6(sw8w7) and he seems a lot more 7 than I do probably because the w7 in sw8w7 highlights even more 7-ish qualities. Another example would be a 2w1(sw1w9) seeming a lot more duty and ideals-oriented than a 2w1(sw3w2) who would seem a lot more like a 2-ish 2w1.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  7. #17
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Yeah...2w1. I could go more in-depth but I trust that you know why.

    I must admit I do get an so/sx-ish vibe from you like WUR was saying. At the same time your posts seem less socially filtered and more raw than mine, since we'd have almost the exact same type if you were so/sx. Have you ever heard of subwings? Perhaps finding out your subwings could provide some insight.

    Subwings

    The descriptions are nice but some are a tad vague, I think it's basically defining the extent which your dominant wing is stronger than your secondary(?) wing. For example, I rarely have 8-ish qualities and am more support-oriented than most 7s so I'm 7w6(sw6w5) rather than 7w6(sw8w7). I also think that if your subwing is your secondary(??? swear I'm forgetting the proper term) wing then your core type is emphasized more. For example, I'm 7w6(sw6w5) and @Elfboy is 7w6(sw8w7) and he seems a lot more 7 than I do probably because the w7 in sw8w7 highlights even more 7-ish qualities. Another example would be a 2w1(sw1w9) seeming a lot more duty and ideals-oriented than a 2w1(sw3w2) who would seem a lot more like a 2-ish 2w1.
    Well I started by going back to the instinctual variants. I just read about so and sx again to try to re-assess myself in those areas.

    The thing with so is: I really don't care about like my place in the group and feel zero responsibility for how everyone feels or like the state of the group. I take care with what I say with a purely individual mindset. I know individuals can get hurt, offended, take things the wrong way, and I really think about like every single person as someone whose feelings are important to me. I love it when I get the feeling that a person I'm interacting with kinda can take a joke or is cool with a little fun cuz then I can throw all that out and just connect with em. My intentions in a group are always to find my person or people within them. Like ok, who's my friend here? Who's on my page or will be a good candidate for a connection. Without that, I rarely enjoy myself at social events where I'm left like awkwardly floating from group to group.

    The sx thing sounds really good to me. I'm definitely an intensity/connection junkie. I want to like dive into people and for them to dive into me. This line specifically "Sexual types are focused on having intense, intimate interactions and experiences with others and with the environment to give them a powerful sense of "aliveness." is like dead on to me.

    Soo...I guess the more I think about it, the more sx I feel.

    Ok, so now for subwings. I didn't see 7s listed on that post you linked to, and I gotta admit, I feel a little overwhelmed by that whole concept haha. How'd you find yours?

    (also, Chanaynay, just wanna thank you for workin with me like this. you're a really cool dude, and I'm glad to know ya )

    EDIT: hm, ok forgot to address my "everybody hold hands and work together" thing. I also REALLY love culture and like watching people unite over things. But I don't feel like I direct my energy into investing in those kinds of things. I like to watch them happen naturally, and do my part to like contribute, but I definitely focus my efforts on personal connections. lol, not sure if this is making any sense. I feel like I'm talking in circles.

    SHIT! Double Edit: lol just found all the subwing descriptions. Looking into em.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  8. #18
    amateur cartographer kquirk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    you think she's a 749?
    Yeah, I wan't really looking at it from the tritype perspective, just as a 4 v. 2 question. I thought that 4 is more who she IS, and 2 is who she WANTS to be, because of her upbringing, her mom, etc. But hearing more about it, some of the 4-ness is explained by her being an ENFP, and the 7w6 fear of getting trapped in a rut, seeing the walls close in. @nicolita doesn't fear losing her identity; she fears that it will be crushed under the weight of the world and its expectations. She is a 2 at heart, even if some of the outward manifestations of this come from unhealthy places (trying to be what the world expects her to be as a "good woman").
    5w6 - 9w8 - 3w2

    Words are wind.

  9. #19

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    No, you are not overconfident. Make up your own mind. It isn't an exact science.

  10. #20
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Well I started by going back to the instinctual variants. I just read about so and sx again to try to re-assess myself in those areas.

    The thing with so is: I really don't care about like my place in the group and feel zero responsibility for how everyone feels or like the state of the group. I take care with what I say with a purely individual mindset. I know individuals can get hurt, offended, take things the wrong way, and I really think about like every single person as someone whose feelings are important to me. I love it when I get the feeling that a person I'm interacting with kinda can take a joke or is cool with a little fun cuz then I can throw all that out and just connect with em. My intentions in a group are always to find my person or people within them. Like ok, who's my friend here? Who's on my page or will be a good candidate for a connection. Without that, I rarely enjoy myself at social events where I'm left like awkwardly floating from group to group.

    The sx thing sounds really good to me. I'm definitely an intensity/connection junkie. I want to like dive into people and for them to dive into me. This line specifically "Sexual types are focused on having intense, intimate interactions and experiences with others and with the environment to give them a powerful sense of "aliveness." is like dead on to me.

    Soo...I guess the more I think about it, the more sx I feel.

    Ok, so now for subwings. I didn't see 7s listed on that post you linked to, and I gotta admit, I feel a little overwhelmed by that whole concept haha. How'd you find yours?

    (also, Chanaynay, just wanna thank you for workin with me like this. you're a really cool dude, and I'm glad to know ya )

    EDIT: hm, ok forgot to address my "everybody hold hands and work together" thing. I also REALLY love culture and like watching people unite over things. But I don't feel like I direct my energy into investing in those kinds of things. I like to watch them happen naturally, and do my part to like contribute, but I definitely focus my efforts on personal connections. lol, not sure if this is making any sense. I feel like I'm talking in circles.

    SHIT! Double Edit: lol just found all the subwing descriptions. Looking into em.
    You're 729 and sx dom. This is clear. Your description of working behind the scenes one on one with people though...that seemed a little 7 sx/sp imo... And you do seem the lack the connection to the social bullshit game like Lady X and I do but...What wolfy said

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