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  1. #31
    Member janey_girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I can agree with you here. I dated an INFJ, it was great at first, but then I got to know them and I got very bored.
    Hmmmm.... Interesting point (I know it's off topic). Care to elaborate? (Or should we start a new thread "INFJs - great at first, but fast become boring"?

  2. #32
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janey_girl View Post
    Hmmmm.... Interesting point (I know it's off topic). Care to elaborate? (Or should we start a new thread "INFJs - great at first, but fast become boring"?
    I usually get bored because I see the similarities, and there isn't really any growth from the relationship. After we figure each other out it's just plain dull. The "figuring out" process takes about a week or two.

    The way my INFJ best friend and I bonded and still remain bonded was because we both had emotional/life problems that we helped the other with, along with shared hobbies etc. After that it was just a normal friendship really, but it's been great.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #33
    Member janey_girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I usually get bored because I see the similarities, and there isn't really any growth from the relationship. After we figure each other out it's just plain dull. The "figuring out" process takes about a week or two.
    Ah - I see... I think from my point of view too I need a relationship to stimulate (I'm currently with an ISTP who is constantly changing) and if I were "too similar" I would think "where's the puzzle? Where's the fun?"

  4. #34
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    any relationship needs some cultural similarity and shared interests, activities, hobbies, etc. otherwise there's nothing to do but fuck, or you just into one of the those couples silently eating breakfast reading the newspaper.

    extraverts are good bc they make us introverts try things that we normally pass off as unworthy of our time and unfit for human consumption. we need some enthusiasm (entheos!) to get us going like when it's cold out and you exert yourself and the blood starts to flow and your cheeks turn red. it feels really good to be alive.

    infj + intj is good for introverts who do NOT wanna change, for whom expansiveness is entirely an interior category or who are extremely focused and dedicated to a single work-related pursuit, and who as a result value their introversion more than they will ever value being pushed, nudged, stretched, and pried open with a crowbar.

    intj IS the ultimate clarifier for infj, but it does not shower the infj with inspiration like some other types. and we want to live, dammit! we want emotional currency flowing thru our veins! (eh, or maybe i'm just young and immature and nostalgic for pasts that don't even exist)

    with that said, as a mutually beneficial mature relationship, it is rock solid. sharp edged, but rock solid. it totally depends on where you're at, your focus in life, what you are trying to develop, work on, cultivate, etc. and how committed you are to making it work alongside and in cooperation with your other pursuits. has a very natural partnership feel to me.

  5. #35
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    INTJ vs. ENTP. Hmmm...the choice is obvious. I have left an ENTP out in the cold for an INTJ. I still love you all though (Especially you Trinity)!
    But the numbers are against us so your selfish relationship has left about half a dozen ENTPs out in the cold, not just one or two

    Also... *smoochos*

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    People praise them so much due to possible rarity, but the INFJs I've known have been quite boring and simple. I know two ISFJs that blow the INFJs out of the water, as far as being interesting goes.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I can agree with you here. I dated an INFJ, it was great at first, but then I got to know them and I got very bored. And also I do know ISFJs, they are interesting to me due to the S/N divide. They still are interesting to me even after years and years of knowing them. The INFJ praise usually seemed to come from the rarity as well.
    Well then, the answer is clear my friends! I don't find them boring or simple at all

    *steals all the INxJs then separates them for safe keeping*

  6. #36
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Don't know about other INTJs, but I always seem to clash with IxFJ types. It's so damn boring at times... INFJs may be complex and stuff but romantically speaking, I've found out they're not my piece of cake.

  7. #37
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    INTJ + INFJ = doom.

    Not really. It's just (as I've said on this board a zillion times), INTJs and INFJs share some communicative (or noncommunicative) tendencies that actually impede good communication. It's a challenge that is surmountable, but it's a challenge.


    As for INTJs and touch, my experience is that they really prefer that to be negotiated on their own terms. Physical space is important to the INTJs I know.
    I have an INTJ brother and I absolutely adore him. And he has always been capable of confronting issues between us, often being the first to apologize to me or his ESTJ brother. I suppose he may not be a strong Introvert though either; he has quite a fan club, and he initiates contact with them often.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  8. #38
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i find that with my intj she supplies a lot of the feeling, her introverted feeling drives the relationship, but that i am the one steering it for the most part. i am the one who controls the articulation, forms of expression, etc. i help her express herself and we both can just bask in it. passing it back and forth. intensifying it, etc. the whole thing gets me going, appeals to my Fe, and allows me to work my Ni to its highest capacity.

    i think introverted feeling in intjs can be pretty strong, what they feel drives their actions far more than they would like to admit. they are better at compartmentalizing at times, but they are very very undeveloped in expressing it. Te is more oppositional and requires more compartmentalization in expressing Fi than say Ne of an infp or especially an enfp.

  9. #39
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I usually get bored because I see the similarities, and there isn't really any growth from the relationship. After we figure each other out it's just plain dull. The "figuring out" process takes about a week or two.

    The way my INFJ best friend and I bonded and still remain bonded was because we both had emotional/life problems that we helped the other with, along with shared hobbies etc. After that it was just a normal friendship really, but it's been great.
    Quote Originally Posted by janey_girl View Post
    Ah - I see... I think from my point of view too I need a relationship to stimulate (I'm currently with an ISTP who is constantly changing) and if I were "too similar" I would think "where's the puzzle? Where's the fun?"
    I enjoy the mystery too. But eventually, it always ends. Yes, some sooner than others. But what if your soul mate is the easiest to figure out? Are you going to toss him/her aside? The whole point of being with someone is loving them, not the mystery.

    I think the "puzzle" is irrelevant really, when choosing a partner. *shrug* But that's just me. Very, interesting perspective from you two though.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  10. #40
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    I enjoy the mystery too. But eventually, it always ends. Yes, some sooner than others. But what if your soul mate is the easiest to figure out? Are you going to toss him/her aside? The whole point of being with someone is loving them, not the mystery.

    I think the "puzzle" is irrelevant really, when choosing a partner. *shrug* But that's just me. Very, interesting perspective from you two though.
    i think it just depends on how the rest of your life is balancing out. what needs are being satisfied, what you need developmentally, where your ideals are at any given moment.

    ie i used to think it would be impossible for me to date any girl who wasn't an artist. now i realize there are other ways to inspire myself, instill creativity into every aspect of my life including my relationship, and meet and connect with other people with whom i can foster a creative partnership with outside of s.o. territory.

    i think this is similar. some people want intrigue, they want it to dominate their attention, to consume them with mystery, unknown, exploration, adventure. it's fun for what it is. others want to be recognized, appreciated, and loved in a myriad of ways. fitting them together is where things get speechlessly confusing.

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