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  1. #21
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    If you are adventurous, it might not be your type.
    Au contraire! It takes a brave individual to boldly go where no man has gone before. And I do mean the core of our minds. :p

    To me, INFJs are a bit like ISTJs relationship wise - of course it depends on the individual etc. - friendship comes easy, but there's no real fire, there's nothing destabilising about the relationship.

  2. #22
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm with another introvert (INTP) and we get along very nicely, like faith describes. He's very easy company and low-maintenance.

    I'm less comfortable with physical touch than he (a self-described touch junkie) is, but we are okay with touching each other. We usually fall asleep snuggled up together.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #23
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Maybe the biggest danger is that you can seem so naturally compatible that you get into the habit of being together without figuring out how serious you want to be.
    very true. it's natural-seeming. the communication seems easy but is silently quite combustible. decisions can be troubling.

    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Touch involves a lot more than type--we Northern Introverts think a handshake is pretty intimate. What's gone on in past relationships obviously brings baggage to the next one, including whatever the last serious other wanted or rejected in terms of touch. A lot of Introverts (me included) get startled if they aren't expecting a hug or even a back rub and it can come off as rejection. We may not have been aware enough of the other person's presence or mood to get it'd be a good moment to slide over on the couch...
    oh god yes. i'm an introverted guy and i don't express affection in public in a physical way. i need strong cues from the girl to feel comfortable and assertive. physically the chemistry is most exciting for me with feelers who are also extraverts. i'm somewhat recessed, i need warmth to bring me to the surface. wake me up and it's shocking how much i come alive. touch is a revelation.

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    Okay, years ago I went on a few dates with an INTJ. From my point of view, there wasn't this passion I was looking for. It might have worked out okay and been an okay relationship overall, but okay's not good enough for me. If he would have been even slightly more social and alive, it might have worked out great. We understood each other quite well, but I was bored all the time. If you are adventurous, it might not be your type.
    i find infjs often appear self-absorbed on the surface, but underneath desperately want to connect in a profound way with others. the intjs i've known are more comfortable with occasional scattered intermittent connection. they are content observing. very detached. even if you can appeal to their Fi, or are very physically appealing to them, it seems to lack sparks. energies stuck in stasis.

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    From my INFJ perspective INTJs can come across as quite harsh when arguing, because INFJs try to find some common ground and let each have their own opinions, whereas an INTJ "attacks" and tries to rend apart the values of others to win the argument. It is their way of understanding things (deconstructing them), and they mean no harm. It might very well be that this doesn't apply to all or even most INTJs, but it's still what I've experienced.
    this is a deal-breaker for me. if i'm being passive-aggressive or a little too Fe diplomatic, call me out. if you're right, you're right. if i'm being too moody and a bit over burdensome, call me out, wrong is wrong. but if you start attacking me and attempting to hurt me, game over. there's no purpose. for infj-intj the intjs perceived consistency is one of their main strengths, main qualities to add to the relationship. if i'm gonna put up with attacks (which i'm not), i'll surely find someone with more energy, more enthusiasm and inspiration for me to connect with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    To me, INFJs are a bit like ISTJs relationship wise - of course it depends on the individual etc. - friendship comes easy, but there's no real fire, there's nothing destabilising about the relationship.
    relationships with infjs are only boring when there is no chemistry. when we want, we want want want. everything. it's terrible. immature introverted types are often awkward, underdeveloped Fe still learning how to express itself, assert itself, etc. so it doesn't often show on the outside... but that's a whole other can of worms.


    it's all very frustrating. on the one hand, it seems to me like intjs (possibly enfp and entp as well) are best equipped to recognize what lies beneath the murky infj surface. RECOGNITION! but the interaction itself is too complacent and undermines itself with its self-assuredness and inability to adapt, change, challenge each other, etc. Fe and Te butt heads too, jesus do they ever.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    To me, INFJs are a bit like ISTJs relationship wise - of course it depends on the individual etc. - friendship comes easy, but there's no real fire, there's nothing destabilising about the relationship.
    Yes.

    People praise them so much due to possible rarity, but the INFJs I've known have been quite boring and simple. I know two ISFJs that blow the INFJs out of the water, as far as being interesting goes.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    I have yet to know a single boring or simple INFJ (though the ones I know are online only), and I'm quite sure noone would ever describe me as such.
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  6. #26
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    This is a terrible idea! Terrible! Think about all the excess ENTPs that are neglected and left out in the cold every time an INFJ hooks up with an INTJ. Some people are heartless

  7. #27
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    I have an INFJ sister and GOSH the perverted things she says! To cut it short she said INTJ are hot. They're just so introverted that you want to corrupt their mind and I do agree with her. I think that those two personality does go ok with each other

  8. #28
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    People praise them so much due to possible rarity, but the INFJs I've known have been quite boring and simple. I know two ISFJs that blow the INFJs out of the water, as far as being interesting goes.
    I'm as interesting as interesting can get!

    I wouldn't say the INFJs I know aren't fun, but they aren't really into things that others would consider exciting. I'm a bit more outgoing and fun-oriented than most INFJs, as far as I can tell.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    This is a terrible idea! Terrible! Think about all the excess ENTPs that are neglected and left out in the cold every time an INFJ hooks up with an INTJ. Some people are heartless
    INTJ vs. ENTP. Hmmm...the choice is obvious. I have left an ENTP out in the cold for an INTJ. I still love you all though (Especially you Trinity)!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cool View Post
    I have an INFJ sister and GOSH the perverted things she says! To cut it short she said INTJ are hot. They're just so introverted that you want to corrupt their mind and I do agree with her.
    'Tis true. INTJs seem so irresistibly corruptable.

  9. #29
    Member janey_girl's Avatar
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    My sister is INTJ and we do communicate very easily - although she rarely lets anyone, even those close to her in her world, I am very aware of that... Sometimes my curiosity does mean I try to pry, but then I know how important my private stuff is to me and I leave it well alone... We're both deep, but in very, very different ways!

  10. #30
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    People praise them so much due to possible rarity, but the INFJs I've known have been quite boring and simple. I know two ISFJs that blow the INFJs out of the water, as far as being interesting goes.
    I can agree with you here. I dated an INFJ, it was great at first, but then I got to know them and I got very bored. And also I do know ISFJs, they are interesting to me due to the S/N divide. They still are interesting to me even after years and years of knowing them. The INFJ praise usually seemed to come from the rarity as well.

    The only INFJ I haven't gotten bored with is my best friend, but that isn't in a "relationship," it's just friends. He and I are like a spine for each other, we can tell each other anything. There is also mutual understanding a respect (and I mean like 100% understood here, which is something I think INFPs and INFJ alike seek in a friendship/relationship). That's mainly why we are friends. Also there is the natural friendship stuff we do like hang out and stuff.

    To stay on topic I don't see why INFJ-INTJ wouldn't work really.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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