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View Poll Results: Is wanting to be a father from a fairly early age an NF guy thing?

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  • Yes

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  1. #11
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    I don't think it's type-related really. It just depends on what you want out of life. My INTJ friend talks to me all the time about wanting kids.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  2. #12
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    I don't think it's type-related really. It just depends on what you want out of life. My INTJ friend talks to me all the time about wanting kids.
    Alright, I understand.
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  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I think it would be especially if you were an NF and grew up in a happy family with brothers or sisters. As for myself, I do have kids, but I never had the desire to have kids It became a different story once they were born and I held them, though.
    Vonnegut ahoy!

    Uhhhh.... Thread seems like stereotype question.
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  4. #14
    WALMART
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    ^ ur so cool starch

    i don't think it's an NF thing, and i don't think NF's are inherently any better at nurturing or something.

    my dad is probably istp also (maybe intp) and has been the most loving father i've perceived out of my entire ring of friends. he's a real go-to guy for just about anything to everyone he knows.

  5. #15
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm not a guy but when I was around 18 I decided that there wasn't much I could do about my childhood, but I could try to make sure that things were different for my kids. That felt like the only thing I could change or that I had control over. After I got married, I had an irrational fear of my husband suddenly dying like my step-father did and I think that was an unconscious reason I wanted to have a child as soon as I did. I didn't want to be left with nothing of him if he was taken from me.

    Looking back, I don't think those things were particularly mature or healthy reasons for having kids, but there really aren't many rational reasons for having kids in a modern non-agricultural society, so it's not a huge deal, IMO. I've mostly made different mistakes that those of my family, but I've made plenty. I like to think my kids have a better chance than I did and I have to admit that I've enjoyed giving them what I felt like I most missed: a loving father. I was not able to give them something wonderful that I did have, though: loving an involved grandparents. You win some, you lose some.

    FWIW, my INTP partner is at least as nurturing as I am, which would not be a hard thing to do and he did not initially want kids, but he warmed up to the idea pretty fast once we started having them.

    Edit: My brother settled down young and had a kid right away and I think he's an SJ. My youngest brother thinks he wants to settle down young, but he doesn't much act like he does, unless spending most of your free-time playing League of Legends is the way to go about that now.
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  6. #16
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Wanting to be a father is not particularly type related, the reasons for wanting it may be more so though. My brother is ENFP and he always looked forward to being a father though he did not rush it, we always talked about what our children would be like and what they would do/who they would be when they grew up. He has this adorable gentle giant approach, he is both incredibly understanding and loving as a father, he really enjoys the connection he has with his son, he also enjoyed being an uncle before his son was born and it has been a wonderful experience to see him nurture his relationships with niece, nephew and son.

    There will be grandchildren one day too... wow.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  7. #17
    violaine
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    My INTJ always wanted to be a father. Just wasn't something he talked openly about with many people. He is an amazing father to our twin baby girls.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    my dad is probably istp also (maybe intp) and has been the most loving father i've perceived out of my entire ring of friends. he's a real go-to guy for just about anything to everyone he knows.
    my INTJ father was an awesome father and a loving one at that, but the question wasn't which types make the best dads... the question was which types are more likely to actively wish to become fathers.

    for contrast: beyond the occasional fleeting thought, i didn't really think much of it before i became one, and that changed everything i've being doing with my life considerably. my father had his whole military career planned out and had to say no to promotion and sign off his retirement when he found out my mother was pregnant (with me)...

    a huge number of fathers rise to the occasion once it happens (and sadly a lot of men do not), but that's not the same as having fatherhood as a life goal or gearing your life towards becoming a father. i believe the OP is asking about the later.

  9. #19
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    my INTJ father was an awesome father and a loving one at that, but the question wasn't which types make the best dads... the question was which types are more likely to actively wish to become fathers.

    for contrast: beyond the occasional fleeting thought, i didn't really think much of it before i became one, and that changed everything i've being doing with my life considerably. my father had his whole military career planned out and had to say no to promotion and sign off his retirement when he found out my mother was pregnant (with me)...

    a huge number of fathers rise to the occasion once it happens (and sadly a lot of men do not), but that's not the same as having fatherhood as a life goal or gearing your life towards becoming a father. i believe the OP is asking about the later.
    Indeed, Fatherhood is one of my life goals.

    I could roughly simplify my goals to this:
    1) Become a father, and be the best I can possibly be.
    2) Become a notable writer and artist, who will be worthy of study for the next few centuries.
    3) Find inner peace.
    4) Improve the world in some way.
    5) Find the ideal job.
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    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  10. #20
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    My ISFJ wants kids - two kids - he voiced that early in our relationship when we were talking about our childhoods and what kind of families we'd like to create in the future. I think it's been a longstanding ideal of his.

    I would imagine it is a common desire among both NF and SFJ men.

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