[MBTI General] Dear {personality type} ...

[idkman24]

Dear (Alleged) ENFP,

You're an xSFP, man. Lets get that straight.

You think I'm an ISTJ. You barely even know me. You introduced me to MBTI, yet you suck at it. We both can guarantee that you use Fi, but the fact that you dress in such bright, EXPENSIVE clothing, the fact you buy things JUST because of the pretty packaging, the fact that you eat things at restaurants BECAUSE you think it would "be an enjoyable experience," the fact that you CONSTANTLY drink and smoke pot, the fact that you always ask random people (this is weird) for massages, ALL of this SCREAMS Se to me. Your alleged Ne is usually off. Your metaphors never make any sense, and what you call "double-meaning" is simplistic.

As for my being an ISTJ, I think the fact that you aren't an N may be why you think I'm an Si-dom. I completely live and breathe the future, dude. We've even had conversations that you thought were "weird" when I essentially planned out my entire life....even my funeral and the music I wanted played at my funeral. YOU didn't like this because you're a Sensor. My ENFP friend (who is also MBTI literate) thinks that you are jealous of me. I refused to believe that, but now I think otherwise. Why do you want to be me so badly?

Dear ESFJ,

You, too, think you are an N. Also, I get the vibe that you think you are smarter than me and even talk as if you are "more intuitive" than me. I wish you could fast forward and reread our conversations a few years later. You sound ridiculous. You're 21 and I'm 23, and those 2 years REALLY show, but I know you don't see it. Alleged ENFP has trained you well. You are mega-impressionable. Also, the reason why you don't UNDERSTAND me is because you NEVER, EVER, EVER tap into your iNtuition.

Our mutual ENTP friend, who clearly knows more MBTI than the both of you, agrees with me.

Cheers!
Sure and True INFJ

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

There is a lot of hostility in here.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Dear (Alleged) ENFP,

You're an xSFP, man. Lets get that straight.

You think I'm an ISTJ. You barely even know me. You introduced me to MBTI, yet you suck at it. We both can guarantee that you use Fi, but the fact that you dress in such bright, EXPENSIVE clothing, the fact you buy things JUST because of the pretty packaging, the fact that you eat things at restaurants BECAUSE you think it would "be an enjoyable experience," the fact that you CONSTANTLY drink and smoke pot, the fact that you always ask random people (this is weird) for massages, ALL of this SCREAMS Se to me. Your alleged Ne is usually off. Your metaphors never make any sense, and what you call "double-meaning" is simplistic.

As for my being an ISTJ, I think the fact that you aren't an N may be why you think I'm an Si-dom. I completely live and breathe the future, dude. We've even had conversations that you thought were "weird" when I essentially planned out my entire life....even my funeral and the music I wanted played at my funeral. YOU didn't like this because you're a Sensor. My ENFP friend (who is also MBTI literate) thinks that you are jealous of me. I refused to believe that, but now I think otherwise. Why do you want to be me so badly?

Dear ESFJ,

You, too, think you are an N. Also, I get the vibe that you think you are smarter than me and even talk as if you are "more intuitive" than me. I wish you could fast forward and reread our conversations a few years later. You sound ridiculous. You're 21 and I'm 23, and those 2 years REALLY show, but I know you don't see it. Alleged ENFP has trained you well. You are mega-impressionable. Also, the reason why you don't UNDERSTAND me is because you NEVER, EVER, EVER tap into your iNtuition.

Our mutual ENTP friend, who clearly knows more MBTI than the both of you, agrees with me.

Cheers!
Sure and True INFJ

You sound very mad.

 

[idkman24]

You sound very mad.

Yes. Yes I was. It has been an ongoing thing. It's as if you were a black man, and your friends seriously were convinced on their own that you were Asian. No matter how much evidence you show to them that you are black, they will still insist that you are Asian. Meanwhile they ARE Asian and tell you that they are white men, and because you don't want to be hypocritical, you patronize them. "Yeah, you definitely are white."

Race is something I've been discussing with my family and friends a lot lately hahaha (you'd be surprised how few people actually know what 'racism' is...even people on this site are incorrect because Merriam-Webster tells them otherwise). Maybe why I used it as an example.

Best part is, alleged ENFP has some sort of emotional attachment to his type. He will FIGHT and FIGHT if you tell him he isn't an ENFP, yet he somehow gets license to categorize you how he sees fit. I don't have an emotional attachment to my type, but I'd call myself an Se-dom before I would even think that Si is even in my top 4 functions. It just doesn't make sense, and I actually believe that most "evidence" he brings to me that I'm an Si-dom is just stuff he has made up. I even told him this. It isn't Jungian functions, it's HIS functions. Then, ESFJ the other day told me that I am the one that makes things up. I explained to him that most of what I say are from actual interviews and writings from Carl Jung himself. Even after SHOWING him this evidence, the conclusion is STILL I made it up.

Ti may be my tertiary function, but I can't believe how illogical and irrational these two fellas are. I'm QUITE mad.

If they gave me good evidence that I was an Si-dom that is better than any evidence of my being an Ni-dom, I would accept it. That, however, isn't going to happen.

Normally, I'd say that it's all unimportant, it's like fighting over horoscopes. However, as weird as it sounds (and I'm kind of upset about this, he, however, is not), our friendship was based off of MBTI. That's ALLLLLL we talk about. So, we actually ended our friendship before over cognitive dissonance. Then, I apologized to him saying how stupid this whole thing was. 2 months later, he apologized back. We mended the friendship. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he and ESFJ gave me a BS intervention about how I'm "too detached" and I "don't accept experiences" (I kid you not, they were questioning why I didn't just drop acid for the experience....the fact that I made a conscious decision not to do illicit drugs was, apparently an 'ISTJ thing to do.') Then, over dinner, alleged ENFP told me he thinks I "live a sad life." Now, alleged ENFP was my roommate for a year, and the kid was ALWAYS depressed. I was the one telling him to get out and enjoy his day. After I graduated, I went to South Africa on a complete whim for 4 months. Yet I'm the one that doesn't "seize experiences." Hmmm......

Ever since that conversation (which, overall, wasn't a bad one), he never contacted me and has written things about me over on PerC (which are all actually hypocritical things, claiming things about me that are actually true about himself).

So, yes. I'm very mad, and I didn't want to think so before, but yes, I think extreme jealousy plays into this equation.

 

[Galena]

EXFP, if I hadd to guess, I would put my money on substance abuse problem, but I can't say for sure what is happening to you except that the darkness of it smacks me in the face like it didn't even just a month ago. For certain, I cannot follow you there.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Yes. Yes I was. It has been an ongoing thing. It's as if you were a black man, and your friends seriously were convinced on their own that you were Asian. No matter how much evidence you show to them that you are black, they will still insist that you are Asian. Meanwhile they ARE Asian and tell you that they are white men, and because you don't want to be hypocritical, you patronize them. "Yeah, you definitely are white."

Race is something I've been discussing with my family and friends a lot lately hahaha (you'd be surprised how few people actually know what 'racism' is...even people on this site are incorrect because Merriam-Webster tells them otherwise). Maybe why I used it as an example.

Best part is, alleged ENFP has some sort of emotional attachment to his type. He will FIGHT and FIGHT if you tell him he isn't an ENFP, yet he somehow gets license to categorize you how he sees fit. I don't have an emotional attachment to my type, but I'd call myself an Se-dom before I would even think that Si is even in my top 4 functions. It just doesn't make sense, and I actually believe that most "evidence" he brings to me that I'm an Si-dom is just stuff he has made up. I even told him this. It isn't Jungian functions, it's HIS functions. Then, ESFJ the other day told me that I am the one that makes things up. I explained to him that most of what I say are from actual interviews and writings from Carl Jung himself. Even after SHOWING him this evidence, the conclusion is STILL I made it up.

Ti may be my tertiary function, but I can't believe how illogical and irrational these two fellas are. I'm QUITE mad.

If they gave me good evidence that I was an Si-dom that is better than any evidence of my being an Ni-dom, I would accept it. That, however, isn't going to happen.

Normally, I'd say that it's all unimportant, it's like fighting over horoscopes. However, as weird as it sounds (and I'm kind of upset about this, he, however, is not), our friendship was based off of MBTI. That's ALLLLLL we talk about. So, we actually ended our friendship before over cognitive dissonance. Then, I apologized to him saying how stupid this whole thing was. 2 months later, he apologized back. We mended the friendship. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he and ESFJ gave me a BS intervention about how I'm "too detached" and I "don't accept experiences" (I kid you not, they were questioning why I didn't just drop acid for the experience....the fact that I made a conscious decision not to do illicit drugs was, apparently an 'ISTJ thing to do.') Then, over dinner, alleged ENFP told me he thinks I "live a sad life." Now, alleged ENFP was my roommate for a year, and the kid was ALWAYS depressed. I was the one telling him to get out and enjoy his day. After I graduated, I went to South Africa on a complete whim for 4 months. Yet I'm the one that doesn't "seize experiences." Hmmm......

Ever since that conversation (which, overall, wasn't a bad one), he never contacted me and has written things about me over on PerC (which are all actually hypocritical things, claiming things about me that are actually true about himself).

So, yes. I'm very mad, and I didn't want to think so before, but yes, I think extreme jealousy plays into this equation.

Did not read a single word. Serious.

 

[idkman24]

Did not read a single word. Serious.

HAHA that's alright. Still, don't see the point of your reply.

It was more of a rant, anyways. I guess I didn't expect a response. Perhaps I like the illusion that online strangers are reading.

 

[AzulEyes]

Dear 16 Types of people,

Don't get too caught up in your type or the types of others. When it takes over your identity, it invariably turns you into an asshole. It is not a replacement for your ego. Stay real- be who you are- and use MBTI knowledge to better yourself / get along better with others.

Azul

 

[Stanton Moore]

Dear INTJ:
Let’s get this straight: you are a smart guy, there is no denial of that. I’ve told you that many times. But you have to loosen up about things. I think you believe that people are born with certain skills. I worry that you are obsessed with pedigree, and this stops you from exploring things with an open mind. You seem to believe that some skills ‘belong’ to others as a birth right, but they do not. Everyone has to work, and work hard to get good at anything.
and I want to tell you that worrying about whether you ‘have it’ is poison to your art. So open your heart and experience things like a child. It’s the only way. There is no pedigree. You use everything you have, and it becomes a new ‘great’…I say this because I love you and respect you like a brother…so take my offer to teach you to read music. It will make you feel much stronger, I promise.
Dear (newly minted) ENFP:
I’m sorry for my distance at times. You know why by now. And thank you for being so nice to me, for saying (and meaning) such nice things, and being so open. I’m not used to that. Thank you!
Dear INFJ:
Yeah, I get you. I get it, more than you realize. You are a brilliant person, but don’t deny what you are. The financial planning thing was destined to fail, and you know why. Be who you are, man, be proud of it, be proud of what you can do, and thank you for the book. It was a nice surprise! And yes, we will probably always feel some degree of competition between us.
ENTP/INTJ:
Fuck you guys. You suck. You have always sucked. Your slacker ‘work’ is pathetic, and you probably know it at some level. It’s soulless crap. You are both tin-eared and nearly talentless. It’s really sad that you were so jealous and so competitive with me, and destroyed our friendship through your bullshit. I never thought I would have to experience that with you two. The loss is yours, entirely. It’s too bad, but I have moved on.
DEAR EXFP: I’m sorry for what I said and did. You deserved better. I hope your life is better now.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Dear ISFJ: You are not an INFJ.

 

[Honor]

Dear ISFJ: You are not an INFJ.

You're sooooooo easy to manipulate. I did that just to see this.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

You're sooooooo easy to manipulate. I did that just to see this.

Oh look, you surprised me. First for everything.

 

[Society]

dear ENFP.

i have no problem tolerating your obsessive hero worship, but insisting that "I should care about it"? seriously? do you not see a relationship between you having grown up there and it's importance to you?and then insisting that i should adopt your fucking blind spot and getting pissed off that i recognize him as a politician rather than some ethical deity incarnated? because political tools and maneuvers can no longer be viewed as such if the cause is right? getting mad that i can see the political brand through "the symbol"? that i recognize that there's a negative side effect to the global facade that slavery is solved or that he wasn't exactly the best thing that happened to south africa's economy? and for fuck sake, saying somthing bad isn't saying he is all bad and saying something good isn't saying he is all good, stop interpreting everything i point out as a generality based on it's location on your creepy good/evil scale. judging things like that is destructive enough without judging other people for not judging like that.

(and yes, this is totally from a convo in regards mandela.. if you didn't know enough to guess.. shame on you! you should care! my mom said so...)

 

[AzulEyes]

dear unknown personality / mini-van mom,

Yikes- that was hard to watch. Now you look ---- quite ridiculous, eh?

Patience
is
a
virtue.

ENFP mom in a sedan

 

[Honor]

dear ENFP.

i have no problem tolerating your obsessive hero worship, but insisting that "I should care about it"? seriously? do you not see a relationship between you having grown up there and it's importance to you?and then insisting that i should adopt your fucking blind spot and getting pissed off that i recognize him as a politician rather than some ethical deity incarnated? because political tools and maneuvers can no longer be viewed as such if the cause is right? getting mad that i can see the political brand through "the symbol"? that i recognize that there's a negative side effect to the global facade that slavery is solved or that he wasn't exactly the best thing that happened to south africa's economy? and for fuck sake, saying somthing bad isn't saying he is all bad and saying something good isn't saying he is all good, stop interpreting everything i point out as a generality based on it's location on your creepy good/evil scale. judging things like that is destructive enough without judging other people for not judging like that.

(and yes, this is totally from a convo in regards mandela.. if you didn't know enough to guess.. shame on you! you should care! my mom said so...)

PROTIP: Replace ENFP with ESFJ.

 

[Society]

PROTIP: Replace ENFP with ESFJ.

interesting... on what basis?

 

[Honor]

interesting... on what basis?

On the basis that everything you described is characteristic of ESFJs.

Woah, when did this snarky side of me evolve?

 

[Society]

On the basis that everything you described is characteristic of ESFJs.

Woah, when did this snarky side of me evolve?

...yea.. i don't see it, at least not beyond the all too obvious...

i was describing my mom..

...which, as everyone knows, always evolve into ESFJs...

other then that:

the lady in question lived the overwhelming majority of her life as such an ENFP stereotype that we're reaching cartoonish cliche territory, only to be slightly less extreme in the last few years. she couldn't keep to a structured [insert anything that might regard her life] until her mid 50s when her little Si stared showing up, she lives and breaths in the Ne world of divergent thinking - jung's epistemologically gambler incarnated, she will waste herself into causes she see's as justice related (the apartheid in SA was a central one of her youth, thus the extreme emotional involvement), the whole FP 'my individuality oppressed by the misguided society values' has never stopped plaguing her hippy brain with complete obliviousness to all things Fe... and that's just going by jungian functions, going by the puritan "just the letters" scheme it actually gets more extreme on the P F & N side of things - maybe a bit closer to the middle of the E/I but not quite there - and extremely on the P side.

comparatively, over the last several years i got closer to my inner ESFJ than she ever will, in part because i actually do think my baby Si and not-as-bratty-as-it-used-to-be Fe allow me to be a better parent, and she tried parenting me via encouraging the introverted feelings that i don't really have (at least not beyond the shallow overlap of self-seeking identity-evading 4 in the heart triad and the emotional introspecting Fi dom).

 

[Honor]

...yea.. i don't see it, at least not beyond the all too obvious...

haha, it is funny that everyone's mom is an esfj, isn't it? no, but seriously, what you describe is what esfjs do. they are instructed by the rest of society about bad and good, and they hold onto that and try to impart it onto others. they're wired to *not* look for alternatives to what everybody else thinks. consensus is their strength, not analysis. i don't know if the person you are referring to is really enfp or esfj but from the description, she does seem to embody many of the common complaints against esfjs.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Actually, what Mane described sounds pretty Fi. My mom is an INFP, so it sounds similar to her reaction when I pointed out that some of the criticisms of longtime Chicago Mayor Richard Daley might be valid. (Honestly, she can't think of any reason why term limits might be a good idea. It's a bad idea just because Republicans came up with it in reaction to FDR.... but would you want four terms of GWB?) She's quick to blame all problems with Chicago on North Side Protestant Republican Cubs fans. (I've met a decent amount of Cubs fans who weren't Republicans, but never mind....)