I wish you would come out of hiding. I wish you would answer the phone. I wish I could erase the pain that she has caused you. I wish you would stop being "Bruce Wayne" and hiding from the world in a cave. I want to see you smile again and I hope that you do not forget in the darkness, the truth you learned in the light. I pray that your faith would not fail you and that hatred and anger will not replace the love and life in your life. You have what it takes to overcome this and when you finally do crawl out of your hole of hiding, I'll still be here and I'll still be your friend, your kindred spirit and maybe someday I will get to tell you that I love you and I think you're awesome.
A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese
I'm sorry, but I just can't put up with your shit anymore. I would say to come back when you can guarantee you won't be petty and mean without warning and without remorse -- except that it'll probably take months or years for me to trust you again.
I just hope you see, now, that you can't treat friends that way and expect them to tolerate it.
I'm starting to realise that I miss having a blast with you. I realise you're all out conquering the world and I'm at home trying to fucking well get this Te thing to work already *is jealous* and it is making us miss each other in life. Hopefully it's only temporary.
Hope you got settled in and the situation has resolved itself. And I hope you finally get to live and enjoy the freedom you so painstakingly earned.
I both hate and love you for making me realise the potential benefits of wife-dom.
You drive me crazyeee
I love you, and you're a treasured friend - but god I wish I was NFJ so I knew how to deal with your emotional needs better without going through my own reserves so easily. Bear with me though, I'm trying.
These are MY boundaries.
My space- that I protect. You are not allowed to cross it.
This is a lesson for you. If you even see it.
The disorder has gripped you SO badly.
Who knew how seriously ill you really are?
My God- I'm stunned how ill and how severe it is.
It explains so much as I look back.
It's scary how bad it is.
Who hurt you?
Who traumatized you?
I remember you saying your dad was overbearing on your mom.
Your mom passive.
Did they ignore you?
Was your mom too numb to show you proper love?
Did you not attach?
I'm really sad for you. It's obvious the hell and torment that is your soul.
I really am sorry for you.
If you realized the torture you put on those around you from it.
It's not fair to others.
Everyone tries to help- but you give them horror and hell.
Even though it's not your fault and you're hurting-
you cannot hurt others from it. It's not right.
Crazy people can't shoot up malls.
Borderlines cannot destroy people's lives.
They just can't.
I would never take such abuse you've dished to me from someone stable.
I have taken it out of compassion for you.
But like ALL the experts say ---- it is a bottomless pit of eternity.
Your heart and your soul can NEVER be filled. (unless you get help successfully)
You are in a perpetual vortex of horror and chaos.
And anyone who gets close to you gets sucked into it.
The whirlwind of pain and horror and suffering.
I'm really sorry for you.
I genuinely thought I could help you.
But according to EVERYTHING my research reveals.
NO ONE can help a borderline.
They must help themselves.
I'm SO sorry.
My intentions were/are to help.
But I cannot forsake my life for yours.
If you can get healthy to a point of acceptance-
I will always have hope for you.
I will not abandon our friendship- even though you've painted me black.
I've said it always and continue to. That is not something I will take back.
Feel better, friend. I'm sorry for your pain.
If I could erase it- I would.
I would erase it.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings