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Thread: Assertive ENFJ?

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I think it does to some extent. Some functions are seen as assertive by other people. Like primary Te that focuses on arranging things, sometimes arranging people. Some types are more assertive than others based on their primary functions.
    What I think it's about the most is how mentally healthy and secure the person is.

    Te is a good example of a function that has the reputation, because extraversion especially is seen as strengthening whatever it's attached to. Do you think that has a basis in reality? I'm curious. Se has a shiny image that way, too, and for Fe, see above posts. Although IMO, the dominant functions that don't come to mind first when we think of assertion are more underestimated then they actually are meeker.

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  2. #12
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    What I think it's about the most is how mentally healthy and secure the person is.

    Te is a good example of a function that has the reputation, because extraversion especially is seen as strengthening whatever it's attached to. Do you think that has a basis in reality? I'm curious. Se has a shiny image that way, too, and for Fe, see above posts. Although IMO, the dominant functions that don't come to mind first when we think of assertion are more underestimated then they actually are meeker.
    .
    In my own personal experiences some types have stronger presence or are more assertive. Like ENTJ's or ESTJ's. They both have primary Te and it is very "ordering" function towards organizing and arranging external world (including people). They can be assertive in a very pleasant way or not very pleasant way. Te as secondary function isn't as visible or not directed to outer world like with ISTJ's and INTJ's.

    Especially if you compare ENTJ to ISFJ (primary Si), you see/feel the difference of Te and not Te as primary function. For example ISTP's (Ti) seem to have very strong presence but they aren't as assertive, althought a strong presence can be perceived as assertiveness by some people. Some people perceive extraversion as assertive (especially some sensitive introverts).

  3. #13
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    I have two dominant Fe people in my life. An ESFJ best friend and an ENFJ boyfriend.

    They both can be vereeery aggressive. The ESFJ generally tries manipulation and if that doesn't work she'll become aggressive with whoever isn't going along with what she wants and will manipulate others to be against that person. But she always sincerely thinks she's in the right. She comes across as more of a "drag" than bossy but that's her way of being bossy by tying to control situations.

    The ENFJ comes across very bossy. I've told him a few times to not boss me around and he immediately apologizes. I think he just has great ideas and wants very one to live up to them. It's always encouraging but sometimes to the point of being overbearing. And also there is no arguing with him about Fe matters. He reasonable an open in all things but as an example: some relationships were causing him trouble because people were being jerks. I told him to basically not let it affect him so much and take a more logo based approach (assume its their reoccurring issues to blame and focus on other things). He was not. Having. It. Great big emotional speech about the value of being there for people and the meaning of friendship and valuing people. He was yelling but not really at me. So he comes across way stronger than the ESFJ but after his emoto-storms he' generally a lot more compromising.

    I feel like Fe says opposing opinions are "wrong" in a moral sense while Te says they are stupid. Generally of course.

    Moms an entj. She will try to hammer her vision on to me while the ENFJ more tries to hammer my own goals vision on to me (encourage me to death). I also know two ESTJ they seemed to hve the uncompromising nature of the ESFJ but with out the manipulating side, the bossiness of ENTJ with out the calculating side and the forcefulness of the ENFJ with out the charisma.

    No offense to ESTJs but they really come off like steamrollers. Sometimes that's really what you need.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    As a side note i also questioned wether my ENFJ was actually Te dominant but after more time in intense conversations it's very clear that all his forcefulness has this huge emotional values driven undercurrent.

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