[MBTI General] How you treat others and How you want to be treated?

[IEE623]

I just had a thought. Please give me some inputs (+/-)

- Fe (ENFJ, INFJ) - treats others the way others want to be treated

- Fi (INFP, ENFP) - treats others the way he/she (the Fi) want to be treated

Using Fe or Fi as an NF, do you think so?

Because I myself don't use Fe, I just want to ask all the Fe out there, do you think you (especially enfj) care too much about other feelings that eventually at some points you feel exhausted?

And for the Fi (especially INFP), I think because of Fi, your are so sensitive that you somehow think others are that sensitive as well and treat them in a very restricted way. Do you agree/disagree?

 

[Domino]

Fe is exhausting. Fe primary is frequently horse-whipping. There's no way I can separate myself from the other person's feelings and I find it painful at times to watch those who don't have the hobble of Fe take down someone else a few notches. Not that we relate to everybody, but in a weird way, we do. My ENFP sister is better able to cope with a wash of feeling around her than I am - what I mean to say is, she doesn't burn hot. I do. Just the general tenor of the emotional atmosphere can set me glowing like a coal, and I have to escape it.

 

[redacted]

^agree. i spend ridiculous amounts of mental energy trying to figure out exactly how everyone around me wants to be treated.

i've always thought of my own feelings as random and arbitrary...i need to use other people as templates for how i should feel.

but yeah, the weight of everyone's feelings sometimes gets so large that i have to awkwardly leave certain social situations.

 

[Penguin]

That depends a lot on the type, I do perfectly understand what pink is referring to, since the same happens to me but not to that extent.
I instinctively feel what I must do, what i must say, and how I must say it, I think this is most evident when I meet a new person.
The best comparison I can make is like having a verbal road map.

 

[Leysing]

I don't know about the sensitivity (I'm not too sensitive as I'm half T), but every time I do something that somehow involves other people I always automatically think "What would I think?" or "How would I feel?". This is very subjective and occasionally causes problems because others are not clones of me.

Being a not-too-sensitive-half-T and having the subjective Fi as my other dominant function I can sometimes hurt or offend others by saying or doing something I don't personally consider offensive. But my Fi considers hurting and offending others wrong and evil, so I try to avoid doing that as well as I can

 

[proteanmix]

I'm so getting the Golden Rule confused here.

I wouldn't say I treat others the way they want to be treated, because some people think they should be treated like kings and queens and I have no obligation to keep their delusion alive. I adhere to politeness and congeniality towards other people and I expect the same back if I haven't given a reason to treat me otherwise.

As a Fe dominant, when I've been immersed in negative emotional environments for a long time I have to either fix the source(s) of negativity or get the hell out with a quickness. Being apathetic towards my environment indicates something is very wrong with me because apathy is not my natural state.

Negatives are being overinvolved/overidentification or not realizing when you're up in somebody's business too much. I've been unnecessarily outraged on behalf of my family and friends and they're looking at me like WTF?

Positives are that I care enough to hear when my neighbor was beating the hell out of his girlfriend enough to call the police on his ass or taking a stranger who's throwing up on the subway to a local hospital. I don't need a deep emotional bond with someone to be active on their behalf.

 

[prplchknz]

I treat people how I would want to be treated in that same situation.

 

[gokartride]

I tend treat others based on a large-scale spiritual/cosmic construct that doesn't really depend much on what they or I expressly want....although I find it tends to work, especially over time.

 

[cn1234567890]

I just had a thought. Please give me some inputs (+/-)

- Fe (ENFJ, INFJ) - treats others the way others want to be treated

- Fi (INFP, ENFP) - treats others the way he/she (the Fi) want to be treated

Using Fe or Fi as an NF, do you think so?

Because I myself don't use Fe, I just want to ask all the Fe out there, do you think you (especially enfj) care too much about other feelings that eventually at some points you feel exhausted?

And for the Fi (especially INFP), I think because of Fi, your are so sensitive that you somehow think others are that sensitive as well and treat them in a very restricted way. Do you agree/disagree?

Ooh this is tricky... I treat people as I would like to be treated until I have a better idea of what is acceptable...I have an ENFJ sister and she treats people the way she thinks they want to be treated, which can sometimes be more structured and detailed than they would like..