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  1. #31
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    I remember feeling like that not too long ago it will pass. I was very confused for a while. There are still things I don't understand. What helped me the most was interacting with people here and browsing through the threads in addition to my own research. Aside from all that when I was first introduced to MBTI I remember taking a test and reading the description of INFJ and thinking “wow I'm not crazy". I never doubted my type before I had a basic understanding of what each letter actually means. I just haven't found anything substantial so far that points to me being an INFP so based on what I know I self-type as INFJ. That’s all you really can do. If one day you wake up and find you were wrong so what. It's your personal journey and maybe you had to mistype to get there. At least you figured it out. All you have to do is change the letters on your profile no harm done.
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyedecker View Post
    I honestly don't even know anymore. My inability to decide is enough to give me away as an INFP.
    also... and this might be a bit of my own biases, but i can't for the life of me imagine an INFJ joining an online community and thinking "I talk out my ass a lot" is what they'd like to have in their title...

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    also... and this might be a bit of my own biases, but i can't for the life of me imagine an INFJ joining an online community and thinking "I talk out my ass a lot" is what they'd like to have in their title...
    Yup. I'm pretty much over the debate at this point.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by iNtrovert View Post
    I remember feeling like that not too long ago it will pass. I was very confused for a while. There are still things I don't understand. What helped me the most was interacting with people here and browsing through the threads in addition to my own research. Aside from all that when I was first introduced to MBTI I remember taking a test and reading the description of INFJ and thinking “wow I'm not crazy". I never doubted my type before I had a basic understanding of what each letter actually means. I just haven't found anything substantial so far that points to me being an INFP so based on what I know I self-type as INFJ. That’s all you really can do. If one day you wake up and find you were wrong so what. It's your personal journey and maybe you had to mistype to get there. At least you figured it out. All you have to do is change the letters on your profile no harm done.
    Thanks.

    I think part of the problem for conflicted INFPs is that so many of the profiles of the type were obviously written by people who are obviously not INFP. Some of them I read and can guess, "this was probably written by a sensor." So they tend to portray us as uber hippies who desire world peace and social harmony above all else. Reading the profiles, you'd think all INFPs were incense burning, new age music enjoying airheads completely out of touch with reality. I don't mean to say any of those things are bad, just that the profiles over-generalize and make somewhat condescending assumptions.

    DJ Arendee said INFPs mostly want to talk about "flowers and other stupid shit" on his youtube profile. Whether or not he was joking is beside the point, as he illustrates a common attitude I've noticed non-NFs display towards us.

    So those of us who don't really give a shit about world peace because (surprise, surprise, guess what? we're not that naive and are far more realistic and pragmatic than other types give us credit for) will read these profiles and notice these general attitudes and immediately become conflicted.

    I mean, I know I'm a ball of emotion and my feelings usually rule me, but I have a very scientific, logical side that I imagine other INFPs have as well. I just wish the general profiles and type descriptions covered that dimension a bit more.

    My strong desire to learn and explore the world is part of the reason I feel such a kinship with NT types, as I mentioned earlier, and may be why I was even considering I might be an INTP at one point.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    @Lyedecker I tend to agree with you that types are often over-generalized. It's too easy to do that.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  6. #36
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    It seems to me that you are confusing informing with directing, at least in this later part. I don't know, because it looks like they are mixed together in your examples.

    Anyway, INTP's also use the informing style.

    I'm pretty sure I'm INFJ, and I use the informing style a lot. This is a particularly INFP quality I have, but I have a problem with the directive style on principle, at least how it is literally described. I just don't think most people have the right to tell others what to do most of the time. Even a superior should use the informing style a good amount of the time, because it is respecting the ability of the employees to use their good judgment as to how to respond to the situation. I feel like if you have to tell your employees what to do all the time, then you don't trust them to be able to make the right decision; in which case you shouldn't have hired them. In a non-work situation, I think there's just no place for it unless you are an adult talking to a very small child. The gray area is if you are planning things and working out who is going to do what, and one person is put in charge of organizing things. But I think the context should be made explicit. That's just me. @Ene, am I misunderstanding communication styles? What exactly do you mean when you say you nearly always use a directive communication style? Do you tell people what to do all the time, and if so in what context?

    I use a modified directive style much of the time. This might be more what it really means: I will say "Let's do such and such," or "I think it would be a good idea to do x." I say this is modified because I am including the other person in the decision making process, and implying that it is a team effort...
    Strangely enough most of the INFP/INTPs I've been involved with personally are far more likely to be directive with me than vice versa. I am *extremely* in the informing style camp both in my personal and professional life. As a teacher I am way, way far to the side of the spectrum that seeks out inner motivation in students. I could easily be criticized by other educators for not pressuring students to practice, not telling them everything they do wrong, not being rigorous when grading, etc. In my personal life I have had to wrestle through discussions, even arguments, where I finally get it across to the INP that I can be trusted as the master of my own life. This might be partly because I was the youngest in my family. I would never dream of telling those closest to me what to do or how to live, but the reverse is not the case. I am 100% in the camp of psychologist Carl Rogers who described each person being the master of his own life. I'm also thinking about any of the INFJs I know here online as friends or possibly my brother (he's tested as INFJ, but hard to type), and they have given advice, but always with many disclaimers and apologies. I know that being directive is in the INFJ descriptions, and I never relate to that part, but I just haven't seen it in practice. I don't judge or dismiss the directive style and admire my fellow teachers for it, but I can't do it myself. It's like an absolute block I just cannot invade a personal boundary.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  7. #37
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    lol Lady Gaga INFP? I don't think so!

    And why doesn't anyone say Si gives INFP's their superpowers? You can sure hear the tone of admiration for INFJ's in that video.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find it odd how the inferiors for INFJs are often interpreted positively, as if they are well-developed, whereas the inferiors for INFPs are not. Se for INFJ is discussed as if they are SPs, whereas Te for INFPs is not discussed as if they are TJs (shouldn't we be great leaders, excellent at logistics, exceptional at managing & mobilizing resources, etc?). Instead, it's often emphasized for INFPs how weak Te is. I wonder why INFJs are given such a free pass when it comes to their inferior....
    Yes, I've noted the same pattern well beyond the video. Especially with the tertiary moreso than the inferior. I seldom see Ni-dom users expressing concern that their tertiary sucks. Most feel they have it mastered. But it can be a tripping point for sure.

    Good comments on issues surrounding that video.

    ----------------------

    @Lyedecker: from your pic you scream out e4 sp dom and I think you likely are an INFP. That's not based on anything scientific, just on how you vibe to me.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #38
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyedecker View Post
    Thanks. DJ Arendee said INFPs mostly want to talk about "flowers and other stupid shit" on his youtube profile. Whether or not he was joking is beside the point, as he illustrates a common attitude I've noticed non-NFs display towards us.

    So those of us who don't really give a shit about world peace because (surprise, surprise, guess what? we're not that naive and are far more realistic and pragmatic than other types give us credit for) will read these profiles and notice these general attitudes and immediately become conflicted.
    DJ Arendee had the same effect on me. We had a discussion on one of his threads here. He told me I was one of the many mistypes infj's who were actually INFP's. I'd agree with you here though. INFP's get the short end of the stick a lot of times when it comes to profiles. It is possible that they are misrepresented by others interpretations of them.
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyedecker View Post
    But for an NF, I feel very out-of-tune with other people's feelings and needs. Maybe I'm just a lousy NF.
    Hey, I'm not surprised. I don't relate to most INFP descriptions, either. Most seem to run heavy on the social instinct and be written about enneagram nines. What worked for me was to read Jung. It was obvious I was a fi-dom doing that. Then it was a matter of deciding whether I was ISFP or INFP (which was more difficult for me). But once I realized my kid is an ISFP I could really see the differences between the two of us and how they were attributable to Ne vs Se.

  10. #40
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Strangely enough most of the INFP/INTPs I've been involved with personally are far more likely to be directive with me than vice versa. I am *extremely* in the informing style camp both in my personal and professional life.
    This is my general image of FJ versus FP communication. I am confident in my ISFP type, however, and find myself very informing like you. I think. I've been told that I am more directive than I am aware.

    Most people just do not fit the stereotypes of their type. In fact, I feel like the odd one out a lot for being quite stereotypical of both of mine. Guess someone's got to be that person.
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