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  1. #1
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Default Im an INFP Male, and im always in the friend zone

    This here by calls to meeting the sad fact that most INFP males and myself....are most of the time...stuck in the friendzone...


    any advice, comments, help?

    EDIT: this happens almost always with SJs but even when i meet an NF, im still just relegated to being Leelas Fry (futurama)...

    EDIT2: if we could possibly hear some success stories here? ( i actually didnt create this thread with one particular girl in mind).or tips on how to not ever end up there in the first place? (usaully i get, be more direct, indicate more sexual interest earlier....but i dont want to be an ESTP!!!)
    Last edited by Venom; 07-11-2008 at 10:52 PM.

  2. #2
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Yeah, I have the same problem, and it's always akward when you decide you're sick of the friend zone and try to make a move.

    That can end friendships.

    I know.

  3. #3
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    Yeah, I have the same problem, and it's always akward when you decide you're sick of the friend zone and try to make a move.

    That can end friendships.

    I know.
    exactly why its better to just never end up there in the first place! but what if your somewhere like a small college, where uve already met all the attractive females and have already been placed in the friend zone with all of them ....???

    then what? lol

  4. #4
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    LOL that sucks bro.

    I don't know what to tell ya.

  5. #5
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    wait so does anybody have ANY advise? im not even looking for advice about getting out of the friendzone with one girl.... i need more like general advice and it seems that NF males have it pretty bad with the friend zone....

  6. #6
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Hmm. I think it's kind of hard to know without knowing your personality. How do you generally behave around a girl?

    I'm trying to think if I know any NF men. I seem to usually meet a ton of SP/SJ men, and a few NTs. I imagine I'd like an NF guy, though.

  7. #7
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Hmm. I think it's kind of hard to know without knowing your personality. How do you generally behave around a girl?

    I'm trying to think if I know any NF men. I seem to usually meet a ton of SP/SJ men, and a few NTs. I imagine I'd like an NF guy, though.
    think, JD from scrubs...only...unlike JD, getting dates doesnt come as natural

  8. #8
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    There is *nothing* you can do to avoid being "friend-zoned" by a girl you like who happens to just not be interested in you romantically/sexually.

    Realize that *you* are the one who's pursuing girls who are, in turn, "rejecting" you.

    There are plenty of fish in the sea, what is it about *you*, that attracts you to girls who don't find you attractive?

    Perhaps you are a romantic masochist..

    Perhaps you have intimacy issues and by pursuing, what is, essentially a "fantasy", you avoid ever having to confront the *realities* of love, in a real-life relationship context where imperfections, disappointments and difficulties are ultimately, and inevitably revealed. (It ain't all flowers and fireworks).

    Or, perhaps you need to lower your standards a bit.

    All of us have our "mating points" and it is futile to attempt to mate with someone who is, relatively speaking, out of your league.

    Cheers,

    -CC
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    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #9
    Senior Member SquirrelTao's Avatar
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    Have you made moves and been rejected, or have you been waiting for cues/moves from the gals?

    My husband was in my "friend zone". One day he pointblank asked me if I wanted to go out some time. When I just looked at him, he said, "You know, like on a date." And then it went from there. Later he said the only way he got enough courage was because he got mad. I guess he meant he was mad at himself for being afraid? I'm not sure, LOL.

  10. #10
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    There is *nothing* you can do to avoid being "friend-zoned" by a girl you like who happens to just not be interested in you romantically/sexually.
    and i totally understand this...thats why this was more of a how can i avoid this in the future question... i didnt even create this with just one person in mind.

    i realized long ago, that moving mountains is easier than getting out of the zone


    Realize that *you* are the one who's pursuing girls who are, in turn, "rejecting" you.

    There are plenty of fish in the sea, what is it about *you*, that attracts you to girls who don't find you attractive?

    Perhaps you are a romantic masochist..
    an INFP, a romantic? naaaawwww

    not sure bout the masochist thing...i generally dont pursue girls that i feel are out of my league


    Perhaps you have intimacy issues and by pursuing, what is, essentially a "fantasy", you avoid ever having to confront the *realities* of love, in a real-life relationship context where imperfections, disappointments and difficulties are ultimately, and inevitably revealed. (It ain't all flowers and fireworks).
    i do have issues with confronting the reality. part of it is that im so old relative to these issues and behind in experience that im not sure i really know *how* to have a relationship...and therefore i just cultivate friendships with otherwise attractive girls.... did i really just...maybe answer my own question??

    Or, perhaps you need to lower your standards a bit.

    All of us have our "mating points" and it is futile to attempt to mate with someone who is, relatively speaking, out of your league.
    im often hit on by girls that im not attracted too ...i feel that by definition though, if im not attracted to them, then how is that ever gonna work???

    Cheers,

    -CC
    thanks so much! your response was along the lines of something i was looking for. im tired of the "stop being a ***Y" answers i get from people when i talk about the friend zone...

    oh ur ENFP....i like ENFPs

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