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  1. #21
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    I think ENFJs can be really cool people! I am very close to a few. It's hard sometimes when I don't want to take their advice or do what they suggest, but usually with a little extra tact and acknowledgement that the suggestion was good and appreciated even though you're not taking it, I come out unscathed
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  2. #22
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ESTPs and 8s seem to put a lot out there sort of unchecked. ENFJs are perhaps the single most aware type in terms of what they put out there and the consequences. So it could be that.

  3. #23
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Wow, a lot of people here seem to have some unresolved issues with ENFJs. I don't see the need for the scathing comments. Personally, I've only had positive experiences with ENFJs.

    ENFJs want to be useful to others and to help them steer them in the right direction - if they aren't able to do so, they feel useless and invalidated. Probably what makes it more difficult is that 8s often don't want to help or to be steered, and perhaps without realising it, may abruptly shut down a ENFJ in this regard.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  4. #24
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    Sounds like dude's got some severe codependency issues to get over. Don't bother to cater to them, but somewhat gently don't bother.

    , so sayeth an enfj

  5. #25
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valis View Post
    Excellent post.

    This has been my experience of them too.
    (
    They seemed to act with an attitude of superiority (I know that sounds a tad hypocritical coming from an INTJ). Ultimately there was never any substance to them (the ones I have met that is) and I found it extremely difficult to make a connection. I felt as though they were judging me, especially morally. Patronising: that sums it up.


    Oh my...and that from the INTJs. Now that's irony

    Welp, my darling, you might want to take a harsh look at yourself. After all, ENFjs are just Ni-aux and *at least* people-oriented, unlike INTJs. You guys are Ni-dom. Patronising - of the logical variety of course - often is your first attempt at actual contact with the perceived ants at your feet, I find. And judging your maternal tongue. Add to that that your blindspot is their dominant function and you got to wonder...you seriously are blaming the chinese for speaking chinese coz you suck at chinese? And then get offended when they point out the truth?


    Edit: Reminder, I love INTJs, or I wouldnt share my bed with one, but wow
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #26
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I don't think that it is either superiority or judgement that makes ENFJs interact in the way they do, although I am surprised at how many people perceive it that way. I have never met people more willing to put their money where their mouth is and they want to be of service to others and to help them. If you find it overbearing, I think the best thing to do is give feedback on what you would find more helpful so that they can redirect their efforts and you can reap the benefits. In my experience, I have found them to be extremely resourceful, hardworking, self-sacrificing people. They can be outspoken, but are pretty reflective as well, so if you say something, they are likely to mull it over and adjust accordingly.

  7. #27
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    The difference between us is astounding. We're both leaders, but of different kinds. Its almost like his life is all about other people, making sure others grow and succeed, and somehow amidst this he grows and succeeds himself.

    I on the other hand, only grow myself and any help given to others is usually draining for me, and others choose to follow in my wake. He's sort of the shepard, and I'm the trailblazer. For him to give me technical advice is usually... wrong. Otherwise his political advice is very useful.

  8. #28
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^Appreciate it, dude. He probably appreciates you for your contributions too. And make him aware of the differences, to work out the kinks. Imagine the team you could make
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #29
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poimandres View Post
    The things to understand are that they are narcissistic attention-whoring drama-queens and masters of manipulation; I much prefer ISTPs.
    There is much truth in this hyperbolic comment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Valis View Post
    They seemed to act with an attitude of superiority (I know that sounds a tad hypocritical coming from an INTJ). Ultimately there was never any substance to them (the ones I have met that is) and I found it extremely difficult to make a connection. I felt as though they were judging me, especially morally. Patronising: that sums it up.
    Not sure about the attitude of superiority, but I have seen the patronizing and lack of substance. I had an ENFJ boss for awhile, and the level of drama in our group increased by orders of magnitude. Everything became personal, whether good or bad, and we were walking on eggshells most days. To his credit, he patronized in the best sense. He wanted to be our patron, to take care of us, solve all our problems, and make everything OK. This led him to make promises he couldn't keep, and should have known better than to make. Some less experienced coworkers were gullible enough to put real stock in it, and got sorely disappointed in the end. I learned very quickly not to depend on him for anything more than pep talks (and you know how far that goes with an INTJ). He was a real pro at maintaining and expanding his network and keeping all those connections well-oiled, but it never brought the group any concrete benefit, other than to put out some of the fires caused by his own interpersonal wheeling and dealing and overextensions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Welp, my darling, you might want to take a harsh look at yourself. After all, ENFjs are just Ni-aux and *at least* people-oriented, unlike INTJs. You guys are Ni-dom. Patronising - of the logical variety of course - often is your first attempt at actual contact with the perceived ants at your feet, I find. And judging your maternal tongue. Add to that that your blindspot is their dominant function and you got to wonder...you seriously are blaming the chinese for speaking chinese coz you suck at chinese? And then get offended when they point out the truth?
    Oh, but we do. We see what you see, we just make different value judgments about it. With my old boss, I am complaining that the Chinese fellow insists on speaking Chinese, even after moving to the U.S. Yes, we value diversity; yes, I wouldn't mind picking up some Chinese. But we do all our business in English, so he is the one that has to do more adjusting.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #30
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typh0n View Post
    Haha Typh0n... this makes me laugh. And not because I feel a slight sense of sexual confusion when I look at the creature in that image...

    No, I'm reminded of my Grandmother... who called me 'Buttercup' *omg pull yourself together Starry*

    Umm so, whereas my Mother would never dare say anything like the above sentiment out loud...but rather prefers to transmit these kind of messages via mind control... My Grandmother would just come right out with declarative statements in this same vain. And, perhaps by sheer coincidence, also routinely threatened people with bodily harm. <--She was breathtaking and I loved her.


    [ personal message to my Grandmother:
    Nonna, ci sono due assoluti. Eri più grande della Vita e più forte della Morte. Né potrebbe limitare voi e voi siete qui intorno a me.

    Ti prego di perdonarmi per essere così mite in questo thread. So che mi hai insegnato meglio. Prometto di essere molto più offensivo in futuro.
    Ti amo, Buttercup ]

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