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Thread: ENFPs and Si

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    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs and Si

    I'm currently trying to develop my Si better. I struggle to listen to my body for hunger cues and have a really hard time 'checking in' with myself to pay attention to how I'm doing. I also have difficulty with just sitting and 'being' rather than becoming caught up in thoughts, emotions, or events. I know this is an inferior function for ENFPs (attention to details isn't my forte either, but I'm less bothered by that aspect), and was curious to hear other people's experiences with developing a stronger Si. I've been practicing yoga to help myself do this, but I'm always looking for tips and strategies to help me look inward with any kind of focus and duration. Without Si, it seems, it's hard to even tell if this is working or to catch myself when I go off track.
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    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Oh... well setting routines (even though we may rebel against our own settings, haha) can be helpful with the eating thing.

    I find it super hard to know when to eat but i do have children and i also understand that they require regular nourishment with food. So i try to regulate meals ... a bit anyway. Three meals i find very tough going, they are old enough to get breakfast for themselves so i try with lunch and dinner.

    Having alarms might be a good way to start... maybe you could try with getting one meal at a regular time during the day and go from there. For me it's more about getting into an effortless routine that noticing physical cues to being hungry. I'm also not very fussy with what i eat. I'm not really a foody person... so i try to encorporate different food groups, but am not overly concerned with the ingredientes. I find cooking regular meals quite tedious, unless i am doing something like a dinner party which can be experimentally fun.

    So anyway, back to the point... try with one regular meal with different food groups. I hope that helps.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

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    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    The internet is the worst, because it's a constant source of distraction....not only because it's so vast....but also because information keep getting updated (email, facebook, forum, news, etc) that you can just refresh every 2min and always find something new.

    Yoga was very good to me, so I do that in moderation. But I read somewhere that we shouldn't struggle too much with our inferior function, or it will makes us feel miserable, because we spend too much energy to use it and end up not even using it correctly. Jung does not even mention a 4th function. So what I read is that you should really focus on developing your two best functions, Ne and Fi. I find that to be true. When my Fi is happy and content, I am an equilibrated person.

    Regarding schedules and so on, I use Te for that. For instance, instead of setting myself time schedules, I set quantity schedules. For instance: I decide that I will write 2 pages today. I have to do it. Even it I spend 5 hours on a forum, I will force myself to do it today, even if it will make me go to bed at 3 in the morning. Or for instance, if I don't do it in a particular day, because I really wasn't feeling like it, or some external event happened, then I force myself to do twice the work the day after. I try to set deadlines and divide my work through a series of other smaller deadlines. It kinda works pretty well.

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    one aspect of Si is sensitivity. dont be afraid of youre sensitivity, its part of who you are, and it isnt somehting you should be ashamed of.

    if you just learn to show your sensitivity to others personally, theyll most likely learn to appreciate it. if you dont show it, they expect it to not be part of you. which only makes it harder.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

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    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

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    I don't believe that Si is related to sensitivity or determining your well being (hunger etc.) Si is my tertiary function so I'm at home using it and it provides assistance for the other two. Si is detached from reality; the five senses take it in and the brain attempts to snapshot what was perceived. However the brain is not without its flaws, biases and subjectivity so what is stored becomes personalised as in "this is what I experienced". I think the axis for Si is that the higher up the stack the more details are stored (and not necessarily how accurate the impressions are). I think accuracy is derived from an increased number of items - more items could be incorrectly imprinted but you have a higher chance of accuracy nonetheless. Stephen would be the ideal person to speak to about this or if not Disneygeek or Giggly.

    In your case Si would only be a problem determining what your favourite food is or what is your preferred routine.

    As for ways to improve it I would suggest you lock yourself in your house for several hours until your Ne calms down (I would suggest before you would normally encounter burn-out.) Allow yourself to meditate and/or relax and reflect. Reflect upon your past, upon certain events. Allow them to play out in your mind without fear, if you must you can allow your Fi to evaluate what you are seeing or feeling (normally you will either feel nostalgia for the past or you will feel what you felt when the event occurred) and from what I understand both of these would assist development.

    Alternatively try and recall an event which exists in an alternate format e.g. a video, internet etc. and write down what occurred to the best of your ability. Afterwards play the video, record the events and compare them.

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    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    I would suggest you lock yourself in your house for several hours until your Ne calms down (I would suggest before you would normally encounter burn-out.) Allow yourself to meditate and/or relax and reflect. Reflect upon your past, upon certain events. Allow them to play out in your mind without fear, if you must you can allow your Fi to evaluate what you are seeing or feeling (normally you will either feel nostalgia for the past or you will feel what you felt when the event occurred) and from what I understand both of these would assist development.

    Alternatively try and recall an event which exists in an alternate format e.g. a video, internet etc. and write down what occurred to the best of your ability. Afterwards play the video, record the events and compare them.
    OMG I'd rather shoot myself

    It's probably a wise and healthy thing to do, but it seems like one of those medicines that you know are good for you, but taste soo bad.

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    Perhaps, I guess I can relate if I was told to go on a wild two week bender with people who keep switching with new people every thirty minutes or so. It will develop on its own I think. I also have my doubts you need it (with NeFiTe proving to be suitably pragmatic to do well in life) and you need only study it in some detail to find out what it does concern as a function and what it doesn't. Then tiptoe around those situations which require its use.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Oh... well setting routines (even though we may rebel against our own settings, haha) can be helpful with the eating thing.


    maybe you could try with getting one meal at a regular time during the day and go from there. For me it's more about getting into an effortless routine that noticing physical cues to being hungry.

    I find cooking regular meals quite tedious, unless i am doing something like a dinner party which can be experimentally fun.

    So anyway, back to the point... try with one regular meal with different food groups. I hope that helps.
    This is right on point. I love cooking for my husband and I or for parties or guests, I just can't seem to take the time to prepare food for myself. I do much better with a schedule that's set for me. I've been off work for the summer since I work in a school, so that's been a big adjustment for me. I laughed out loud when I read your comment about rebelling against our own settings. UGH! I have a serious love/hate relationship with that aspect of myself.

    Standuble: "I don't believe that Si is related to sensitivity or determining your well being (hunger etc.)"

    I read that it is. ENFPs often ignore their body's needs because they get so caught up in other things. It's also the reason we tend to overlook details. The main things I'm really looking for is for me to be able to tune in to myself, like at the core of my being, instead of being blinded by a swirl of thoughts and emotions. I believe that's what I'm missing to really be at peace and not be in a reactionary or lost in thought state all the time. I want to feel present more.

    pinkgrafitti: "OMG I'd rather shoot myself "

    My thoughts exactly! haha, I'd go nuts.

    "The internet is the worst, because it's a constant source of distraction....not only because it's so vast....but also because information keep getting updated (email, facebook, forum, news, etc) that you can just refresh every 2min and always find something new."

    I've been thinking of trying to cut back in that area, but I haven't taken the plunge. You're right though. I know the immediacy of it is not doing me any favors.

    "I read somewhere that we shouldn't struggle too much with our inferior function, or it will makes us feel miserable, because we spend too much energy to use it and end up not even using it correctly. Jung does not even mention a 4th function. So what I read is that you should really focus on developing your two best functions, Ne and Fi. I find that to be true. When my Fi is happy and content, I am an equilibrated person."

    I find this interesting. Maybe I should give that some thought too.

    Thanks for all the great responses! Keep them coming if you've got more to say.

    Also, I know I suck at quoting and stuff. I'll figure it out later I'm still pretty new here.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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    Another weakness of mine that I think might have its roots in Si is the ability to call to mind past experiences. Like, if someone asks me if I've ever ________ in my life. A lot of times I feel like I have no idea. I usually end up responding with, "I don't think so." Or when asked about the best ___________ I've ever experienced (like movie, trip, best recipe I've made) I have a hard time calling them all to mind in order to even pick one, so I generally just remember a good one and pick that. Does anyone else have a hard time using Si for stuff like that?
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    I read that it is. ENFPs often ignore their body's needs because they get so caught up in other things. It's also the reason we tend to overlook details. The main things I'm really looking for is for me to be able to tune in to myself, like at the core of my being, instead of being blinded by a swirl of thoughts and emotions. I believe that's what I'm missing to really be at peace and not be in a reactionary or lost in thought state all the time. I want to feel present more.
    Read from who? From where? It seems infinitely more likely (using the premise that strong Ne is either similar if not identical to ADHD) that it's the strong Ne that is causing the lack of realisation with Si not being relevant. Take the case study of hyper-focus: the individual becomes so focused on a task that they forget to eat, sleep, drink etc. and do not require the above.

    If I may speak from personal experience: In the past I have hyper-focused on certain tasks (usually video games) where I have played for many hours straight without rest. Like above I went without being aware of my needs however the whole time I was comfortable with using Si - I reflected upon the past and everything else like usual.

    As for solutions, I suggested two in my original post. It may be difficult but you can't expect everything to just be handed to you on a plate.

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