Please bear with me as I try to describe my situation...O_o
My boyfriend and i are generally easygoing people and don't get into arguments much. However, the few times he says or does things which hurt or offend me, such as by passing insensitive remarks, I tend to realize only after a while (often hours or even days) that I feel hurt over the comment, as if my conscious mind takes some time to process what just happened ): Does anyone have a similar experience when they get hurt or angry, and more importantly, know why or how it could be changed?
I generally still end up bringing up the issues when I realize they bother me, but I have been running into problems here because my boyfriend is in national service during the week(sort of like compulsory military training--not actual combat though, phew). Which means that more often than not, I realize these issues when he's only contactable by text, and because I find it hard to ignore these problems when I realize them, I end up bringing them up over text with a huge dump of messages instead of over the phone or in person>.< it often prolongs the resolution too, since he can only reply a few times a day, and upsets both of us for a longer period of time. He's told me that his mood can get affected pretty badly by these text confrontations, and is hoping I can minimize them, and I really want to try to because this is one of the few things he's ever asked of me to change.
So basically, my questions are:
1) Does anyone know why I, or ENFPs in general might have a delayed reaction to hurtful things, and is there anything we can do to realize such problems more quickly so they can be addressed on the spot?
2)Does anyone know how I could cope better with waiting (hours/days) for a good time to bring up issues? when I do realize them, they tend to haunt my mind and are incredibly distracting and upsetting until I address them >.<