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Thread: Sense of humor

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array hazelsees's Avatar
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    Feb 2013

    Default Sense of humor

    Okay, so I've been reading (here) about how INFJs aren't funny-don't have a sense of humor. I couldn't really relate to that...but tried to.
    A couple of days ago an ESFP companion and I were talking...he was relaying what a mutual friend said about something and commented that this mutual friend is "too serious". Thinking on that for a minute, I asked "am I too serious?" He said, "No. You're funny."

    ...but, I'm supposed to lack humor...according to what I've read here.'s what I've figured out about myself.
    If I'm comfortable with a person and relaxed, I can be very funny.

    here's where it can get messed up:

    I am usually the "listener" in a group. BUT sometimes I have something that is important to share either because 1. it's important to me personally or 2. it's required because of my work, etc. I have a difficulty putting my thoughts and feelings into words. Sometimes I'm not sure there are words to accurately say what it is I am feeling. But even if there are the words, it takes me awhile to form them into sentences. Also, there are so many threads of thought that lead to other threads of thought running through my mind at all times, that the distraction of that makes it extremely difficult to say what it is I need to say. I need to stay focused. The "funny" types like to make side comments to lighten up "speech" and although I do realize what they are saying is funny, I can't stop to acknowledge it because I'll never get back on track. I plow on, it appears that I'm unfunny. The only time this becomes a real problem (I feel annoyed) is when the side comments turn into full-blown heckles.
    Maybe some other INFJs (or anyone) can relate to this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    I'm too serious and I'm not very funny most of the time, but I do have a sense of humor. I laugh (okay, it's probably more of a bray/cackle/snort) easily and often and value humor above many other things. My husband is always making me laugh and it makes my life better. When he is feeling bad or not around for awhile it's like the sun is behind the clouds.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #3
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    May 2009


    I have a sense of humor, but a strange one.

    There's the social polite-sense-of-humor thing that I use in every day life. I'm Fe. I laugh at appropriate things. It's not faked, though. It's just that I sense when the situation is supposed to be lighthearted and I automatically respond to that. I'm not uptight at all, unless your sense of humor includes crude and cruel racism or sexism or the suffering of animals.

    You need to be really close to understand my real sense of humor, which is usually either very silly or very morbid.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Ene's Avatar
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    Aug 2012


    I've been told that I'm funny. All I have to do is open my mouth and start talking about my family and people laugh. Maybe not everybody, but lots of people. I like ironic humor and witty humor and clever plays on words.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

  5. #5
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    4 sx/sp
    INFp None


    The stereotype is wrong, and it really puts people on the spot to tell them they don't have a sense of humor because it ruins the dynamic for any jokes.

    Every type has a different sense of humor and even if some types are less likely to, that has nothing to do with individuals. I do think that INFJ humor does tend to be very personal and intimate, so it's not often shown publicly, although even online I've noticed many do have a quiet quirky humor that you have to pay attention in order to catch. In the descriptions of INFJ it says they are very adept at reading non-verbal signals, and I've noticed that my own humor involves facial expression and visual/physical humor. It's not as social or word based as some other types. Because of that I can make animals and children feel so silly they don't know what to do with themselves.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN

    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY

  6. #6


    I'm INFJ and I spend most of my time laughing and making jokes. One of my favorite activities is making my 5w6 INTJ laugh. I just love dropping some little aside that cracks him up. That said, even though we've known each other for years, it wasn't until we were in a relationship that my humor started to fully emerge. I have to feel like someone really accepts me before I can let that stuff show, because I never want to offend anyone with my sense of humor. So, it's only on full display with family and BFs. And then with very good friends to varying degrees.

    I don't think anyone can manifest all of the facets of their personality online. And this is a place where people tend to ruminate and contemplate and then show their vulnerabilities. Not always conducive to giggles. Esp not for overly empathetic types or those who rely on non-verbal cues to accompany words.

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