Hi fia, thanks for your response. I have noticed the earthiness in the posts of the users you mentioned. Maybe it comes from more self assuredness on their parts.
That could be part of it. I know for myself I have quite a lot of self-doubt and relate to a lot of what you said in the rest of your post here that I will comment on.
I don't deny in myself grit, and especially regarding cruelty, I have made it a point to learn about topics of cruelty and human evil in the world. I see in myself a darkside, too, which surely everyone possesses, but mine seems to play out in that stereotypical INFJ way of making myself vital to someone and then pulling away and leaving them bereft. This may sound like a humblebrag, but I don't mean it that way, I sincerely struggle with causing hurt in this way. What makes me angry is my problem dealing with this.
You struck me as a very caring and compassionate person. There is an issue with INFJs becoming overwhelmed socially and having to withdraw, but I've definitely had other types do this as well. At some point in life I've found that it isn't something to judge a person over, but instead to just calibrate to whatever a person can give at any point in time. I have an INFP friend I adore, but she can be very cold and distant at times, so even though I keep getting hurt by her, I'm trying to just calibrate and accept her for exactly who she is rather than my idea of whom I'd like her to be. I found this quote and try to live by it: "A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything."
Also, I was going through a strong period of anxiety and thats part of what I was mentioning about different theories about why I'm not outwardly angry, and I think its related to anger redirected and turned inward and manifesting as anxiety and self-loathing.
This I can relate to feeling, and I feel empathy for anyone dealing with it. I've had to make efforts to turn my anger outwards, but always struggled with it because I would assume that if I just understood more about another person's experience, that then I would excuse the behavior. I recently read some diaries from my teenage years and was amazed at the mental gymnastics I performed to excuse the behavior of people who were not treating me right at all. I think people, even rather abstract thinking ones, need simple hugs more often to help combat the complexity of self-loathing.
But a lot of it, I think has to do with me viewing many videos where INFXs described in detail the injustices that anger them, those resonated, but I didn't want to be redundant. Its very enneagram four, I think
But I do understand what you are getting at, that there are different qualities of processing preferences, and maybe mine across a bit more idealized or floaty. I also wonder what part being a social first variant plays.
It is difficult to read intensely private people, so that definitely plays a role, but I just had an initial impression of a kind of innocence that includes compassion. You did say at the beginning that you didn't want to be redundant, and it is clear that you care about the large systems that have destructive, hurtful, and cruel effects on people and creatures.
Anyway, back to mannerisms, I was wondering if my eyes darting around or lack of the supposed "Ni-gaze" that I hear so much about, or even anything else made anybody think I stood apart from other INFJ or the INFP video submissions. In
this thread I was typed as a definite ESFJ (the poster later edited his posts to make the pronouncements softer) and [MENTION=1206]cascadeco[/MENTION] was typed as an ENFP. Thanks again for taking the time to watch and comment. I still don't know if I can really identify any INF mannerisms yet, but I look forward to more data. I'm not sure why, but I cannot view your videos, I just see a broken image icon
I'm uploading at least the first one to youtube, so I'll repost it here in a bit.
Also, this is part of what I was talking about with the eye movement. I'll have to read the MBTI functional analysis of eye usages, but what has been already established has more to do with visual, auditory, and kinesthetic memories. I'll have to rewatch a couple videos noticing the eye movement.
