[INFJ] The INFJ Appreciation Thread

[hazelsees]

Someone actually thought an INFJ appreciation thread was a good idea? I'm immediately suspicious. (I've been "away" for awhile) Come back to this thread and another about INFPs who want to be INFJs. My own paranoid mind thinks someone is bored and wants to see fireworks.
Really, INFJs can't be appreciated "out loud" because someone's feelings will be hurt. I've only been around typology forums for a short time, but I can see that. There's another site who was forced to change it's profile of INFJs and put up an article about the "darker" or "other" side of INFJs because people's feelings were hurt. No other type--just INFJs. Apparently INFJs are the only ones with an "other" side.
So weird. I don't get it. INFJs aren't perfect people (even though this INFJ tries very hard to be so), but to be singled out consistently as awful is so depressing. Originally I sought out these types of sites and forums as a source of comfort and understanding for myself and all people. I really have shed a couple of tears over some of the comments around here...thinking that all people must see me in this terrible way. Because I'm an INFJ and must come across the way all the haters believe. Then, I have to realize that I am not an awful person. The world would not be better without me. I'm not an AWESOME person, but I do try very hard to make my little area of the world a better place. And many people are blessed by my work.
I don't know any other INFJs in real life, except for maybe one. My best friend in high school took an online test and came out "INFJ". He hasn't studied it any further than that. My other "INFJ" friend has decided that she is an INFP after all. I don't think she dislikes me the way the INFPs around here seem to dislike INFJs. Maybe she's pretending...

 

[SoraMayhem]

I appreciate INFJs for your uncanny psychic abilities to know /exactly/ what is going on in my life despite not talking to me in like, 2 years. ..okay, so that's over-specific, but really INFJs. Y'all are really creepy-cool when you do stuff like that.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

right, but isn't that the case here? it's specifically asking for the positive. it's not posing a question or asking for information/analysis/examples/experiences of anything in particular other than simply asking - "what information do you have on subject A which is positive?"

on a side note regarding teaching:

i so remember a study showing that the brain chemical release for negative reinforcement actually dissolves any positively reinforced connections attempts between neurons trying to form at the same time, so there is a logic to separating the two when teaching - essentially "your doing X well, but Y" works to discourage Y but negates the entire reinforcement of X.

sorry regarding poor sourcing, unfortunately last i checked americans minds requires a subscription to scientific america in order to gain access to the articles, and i don't currently have one (i tried - it doesn't accept an israeli address).

I can definitely understand that in a way threads like this are embarrassing, but as long as their opposites exist, then it seems we need the Yin for every Yang. I feel really detached from this, but mostly didn't want [MENTION=7040]Forever_Jung[/MENTION] to feel badly for starting it, and was hoping if anyone who identifies as INFJ felt better for it that it is also a good thing. I don't personally internalize any of it.

The question of compliments just for making people feel good is an interesting question. There is one lady I know that comes to mind who is super up-beat even though she has chronic pain, and gives these amazing and specific compliments to everyone. She gets so excited about how wonderful everyone is, and even though her compliments can catch you off-guard and even be a little embarrassing, I think it is so awesome to see a human being who has such a beautiful existence. She could be an ESFP, and the only other option would be ENFP. She does make people feel happy and special, so I think that is pretty awesome to have people like that in the world. She has no intention of manipulation, but is just genuinely excited about all the beauty and wonder in the world. She inspires me to be more like that way.

 

[Society]

I can definitely understand that in a way threads like this are embarrassing, but as long as their opposites exist, then it seems we need the Yin for every Yang. I feel really detached from this, but mostly didn't want [MENTION=7040]Forever_Jung[/MENTION] to feel badly for starting it, and was hoping if anyone who identifies as INFJ felt better for it that it is also a good thing.

oh, i wasn't judging them, i was curious as to why - trying to understand why it appeared that the more developed Fe interpreted the feedback so differently then i would (not that i blame anyone for getting the impression that i was - given past record and all).

*looks around awkwardly*

go on... do your thing...

*steps aside*

 

[JivinJeffJones]

As long as I don't have to live with them (ie subject them to my standards of cleanliness) I love them. They're ridiculously easy to talk to and before you know it you've told them your whole life story. Which they understood entirely. They may try to make you a better person, but they're generally very good at picking up on when they're overstepping the mark. And their suggestions are usually excellent ones.

They work hard on their shortcomings and will do their best to meet you halfway. If they have conflict with someone they care about (and even ones they don't) they'll move mountains trying to understand the other person's pov and, using that, convey their own. They're excellent communicators and probably the best listeners of any type I've encountered. They listen so well that after you've told this person who was recently a stranger all your deepest darkest secrets and insecurities it takes you days sometimes to realize they barely said a thing about themselves. Or maybe that's only the case with INFPs.

 

[Fidelia]

oh, i wasn't judging them, i was curious as to why - trying to understand why it appeared that the more developed Fe interpreted the feedback so differently then i would (not that i blame anyone for getting the impression that i was - given past record and all).

*looks around awkwardly*

go on... do your thing...

*steps aside*

Mane, I think for me, one reason I like hearing specific, positive feedback is that I like meeting other people's needs and making them feel good. If someone tells me what efforts are worth continuing and what are actually getting in the way of them getting their needs met, it is tremendously helpful and encouraging to me. It also says that the other person sees me and values me as an individual and they have put some thought into why that is. It was actually quite a revelation to me to discover that for some types, that sort of feedback makes them feel awkward, overanalyzed or puts them on the spot. I feel like I rarely receive positive, specific affirmation from people and when I do, it means the world to me.

 

[momoness]

I am friends with an INFJ womyn and I feel that she is a special friend . She is kind and smart. She helped pull me out from a bad time in my life by constantly checking on me, and for that, I am forever grateful.

 

[momoness]

I know of an INFJ and she is smart and kind. She is also insightful and has emotional intelligence. Healthy INFJs rock.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

I wish I knew another INFJ in real life, not just on the internet..

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Mane, I think for me, one reason I like hearing specific, positive feedback is that I like meeting other people's needs and making them feel good. If someone tells me what efforts are worth continuing and what are actually getting in the way of them getting their needs met, it is tremendously helpful and encouraging to me. It also says that the other person sees me and values me as an individual and they have put some thought into why that is. It was actually quite a revelation to me to discover that for some types, that sort of feedback makes them feel awkward, overanalyzed or puts them on the spot. I feel like I rarely receive positive, specific affirmation from people and when I do, it means the world to me.

I can relate to this too. It helps to know if my efforts are useful or not. I compliment other people a fair amount, although I try to find specific, personal, unique compliments. My shyness and introversion can limit this, but as a teacher I give tons of positive feedback, and also compliment the people I love in my life.

I really think the world is just full of criticism and tearing people down, so it's refreshing when people say positive things. I think I mentioned a friend of mine before (ESFP) who is super happy, exuberant, and gives tons of compliments to people. She can make a person feel a little embarrassed sometimes, but she doesn't do it to manipulate or anything. She just sees all kinds of beauty and goodness in the world, gets excited about it, feels good and likes to make others feel good. It can be like a hedonistic indulgence of the mind. I'm shy and reserved, but I see a person like that and I think, "Well why not?" Why not be positive and feel good? It doesn't even have any calories.