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[INFP] INFPs who want to be INFJs...

omgFractals

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
7
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm new to all this stuff, but it took me a lot of research to settle on the fact that I am an INFP instead of an INFJ. This is partially because of the INFP talent for being able to imagine what it feels like to be other people. Ultimately I identify waaaay too much with Fi & Ne to be an INFJ.

That being said, I can't speak to what INFJs lack, but I can give credit to where INFPs shine IMO. For me:

We live in a constant state of empathy. When I interact with others I feel aspects of them they might never share with anyone else. Along with being able to feel people's secret bits, I'm also inherently accepting of whatever I find, which generally makes people feel seen and accepted within moments of meeting me.

I trip people out when their antisocial pets claim me as their boyfriend. The first time I met my ex's best friend, his massive dog refused to leave my lap and growled at him whenever he got too close to me. All I could really do was go red and repeatedly apologize hahah.

As mentioned above, our imagination is visceral. When well evolved, our accuracy of insight is frightening.

We can exude feelings and change the vibe of a room. I refer to this as the energetic air freshener. I have even been able to share with a friend, the tingles I get from listening to good music.

To me, the world feels alive, important, cartoonish, and much larger than society chooses to see. If there were such things as spiritual or extra-dimensional entities. the first person they would meet would be an INFP.

We drift into people's lives randomly, unconsciously say something poignant or offer the space for that person to express themselves, and suddenly that person starts transforming into something amazing.

We can mirror people (often intentionally). When the person is loving and good this is great! There is this point I can reach however, where I almost don't feel like myself anymore, because who I feel like inside is a reflection of the person I am with. Something that helps me though is accepting the feelings as my own and being grateful for the person for exposing me to a growing experience.

People who think INFPs are weak or lack intelligence have completely missed the point, or lack the skills to comprehend us. And that's okay as long as we don't buy into their paradigm. We are not weak at all, we battle dragons and demons every day. Sometimes the battle is ours, but often it's yours. We are also very intelligent, spending our lives dancing with concepts so dynamically abstract, divine, and impossible they can barely be expressed through art. It is rare that language can embody what we see and many of us long for a day when technology becomes so advanced we can actually share what we see with others.

Where beautiful intuitive insights bubble up from the depths of an infinite ocean within every INFj, INFP is the infinite ocean. (spooky and ethereal music)
 

Nico_D

The Lost One
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
136
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
pat-on-the-back-panoramic_17222.jpg
 

Kanra Jest

Av'ent'Gar'de ~
Joined
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Messages
2,388
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ENTP
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4w3
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sx/so
INFP's and INFJ's are the feelers I've gotten along with best in my life so far. Basically every one of them I've met. The types I generally open up to the easiest and know I won't be judged, just.. intuitively. So more power to them!

So far in real life though INFP's and I have been drawn to one another more than any.. there's also something in that idealism I can find sweet, as long as it's not aggressive and inconsiderate of my logical observations. Which it hasn't been yet. Deep empathy I admire when I'm so detached usually. The INFJ I know was a bit more hardlined on the way she understood things which was a bit annoying. INFP a bit more flexible in some ways basically, but otherwise some of the most interesting types.
 

mystik_INFJ

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Aug 17, 2016
Messages
174
There's also this common idea that INFJs are "better" because people think of them as these emotional/rational super hybrids. Whereas, INFPs are thought of as these silly/idealistic/hopeless romantics who have no logical processing abilities.

In order to make actual INFPs feel better about being an INFP (because it's not a bad thing FFS), what strengths do INFPs have that INFJs lack?

Better is relative. Better at what? Yes, INFJs are an emotional/rational hybrid, which makes them atypical. But we pay highly with the cost of recurrent depressions, highest rate of marriage dissatisfaction and sometimes one of the most unlikable personalities. You know those emotional dead INFJs? I dislike them profoundly. At the other side there are the political correct INFJs. These are worse than the first kind. Stay away from this kind the most. They are fake and intellectually neutered. Their biggest feature is their complete lack of a recognizable personality. Sad empty shells. The truth sets you free.

There are INFJs that have a lot to like about them. I like those that are at the border of feelings and rationality. This is because feely ones aren't be cold assholes and the rational ones don't value political correctness over reality. Being in the middle is the sweet spot. There are plenty of INFJs that I consider to be shit.

I like INFPs more than I like INFJs. I get along better with Fi users because I let them do their thing and only assist them when they need to step into Fe territory (like interpreting other people intentions). Life is harder for INFP than it is for INFJs because of the difference between Fi and Fe. Fi is for personal values, Fe is for group values, but I find Fi to be more interesting and reliable than the constant changes of the group values. What's wrong with hopeless romantics? The only thing I'd look out for is naivety. Sometimes over idealization may lead to disappointment. INFPs are cool. Well, most of them, rather.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
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5,950
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N/A
I like INFPs more than I like INFJs. I get along better with Fi users because I let them do their thing and only assist them when they need to step into Fe territory (like interpreting other people intentions). Life is harder for INFP than it is for INFJs because of the difference between Fi and Fe. Fi is for value, Fe is for group values, but I find Fi to be more interesting and reliable than the constant changes of the group values. What's wrong with hopeless romantics? The only thing I'd look out for is naivety. Sometimes over idealization may lead to disappointment. INFPs are cool. Well, most of them, rather.

Yes, I like how you've stated this, regarding intentions. I basically live in the default of good intentions unless revealed otherwise, and it can occasionally take me a long time to see a pattern of bad intention (well, mostly to believe a pattern of bad intention, part of me doesn't want to believe bad intention). Ergo the naivety you mention. I rely on a sense of inner emotional authenticity from others to try to compensate for the lack of seeing these patterns of intention as readily.

And thanks for looking out for INFPs in Fe territory. That's nice of you to do.
 

Forever

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I have only met shitty INFJ's but yeah so I like INFP's more too. It's really weird, I must say I still like my beta fish metaphor.
 

misfortuneteller

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sp/sx
i'd never want to be a wannabe martyr with a special snowflake complex.
 

Virgo1987

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Jun 24, 2016
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144
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Infp
I have only met shitty INFJ's but yeah so I like INFP's more too. It's really weird, I must say I still like my beta fish metaphor.

That's not good to hear. :mellow: I hope one day you can meet a great INFJ! I met one here, he's a sweetheart. :D
 

Virgo1987

New member
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Jun 24, 2016
Messages
144
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Infp
i'd never want to be a wannabe martyr with a special snowflake complex.

I'm laughing -- only because an INFJ treated me like I was one of these. Took me awhile to realize that I wasn't the one with the problem. I won't be fooled again!
 

SpankyMcFly

Level 8 Propaganda Bot
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2,349
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so/sx
As others have noted in other threads, several types 'mistype' as INFJ. The type descriptions have something to do with it. Then there is the rare aspect which also overlaps into Enneagram type 4s root drive of envy.

That said I agree and do think there is a general pattern in which types are more often 'mistyped'. INFJ is one of those 'common', imo, mistypes. Heck I know several mistyped INFJs :D. Or do I...
 

mystik_INFJ

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Messages
174
i'd never want to be a wannabe martyr with a special snowflake complex.

Meh, life is about experience. You get special snowflakes in any type. Sometimes it's that one intuitive asshole that thinks so highly of oneself, others it's that sensor prick that is so absorbed in one's self narcissism. People come in different flavors. Some of those flavors are shitty. You gotta pick and choose and try not to acquire a taste for shit flavor.

As others have noted in other threads, several types 'mistype' as INFJ. The type descriptions have something to do with it. Then there is the rare aspect which also overlaps into Enneagram type 4s root drive of envy.

That said I agree and do think there is a general pattern in which types are more often 'mistyped'. INFJ is one of those 'common', imo, mistypes. Heck I know several mistyped INFJs :D. Or do I...

It's the society we live in. The daycare generation has reached college and is now more bitchy and retarded than any previous generation. You know, SJW, Feminists, BLM. Everybody is so special. They didn't receive enough hugs from their parents and are feeling so special. You need to cater to these people's every fucking whim. Failure to do so means you're a bigot, misogynist or racist, which you can mix as needed.

Who are these people? Well, millennials mostly, people that the parents put in care of the state to raise them as toddlers. Put in front of the tv as young children to give parents some "peace and quiet". Then as they grew older their parents gave them whatever they wanted to wash away the guilt of not actually being involved in their lives and education. There are some of the older generation among these loud assholes as well *AHEM* MARXIST TEACHERS *AHEM*. Again, from families that let others raise their kids, failing to connect and educate their young because they were too busy filling spreadsheets for "The Man".

Interesting read: Laura Perrins: Daycare generation are now the students throwing tantrums over safe spaces - The Conservative Woman

I was actually interested in learning more about these overgrown children. Although my research methods are based on empirical data, I did notice a certain type of personality to be dominant with such people. They're not INFJs, or at least not the thick of it. For a while I thought they may be INFPs. Nope, that wasn't either, I figured out INFPs are smarter than that.

Then I noticed how these people do not have the basics of human interaction and regard for others. And started to look at XXTJ. And wouldn't you know it, bingo, found them. INTJs take the cake and so far I've seen these types to be very common among these people. Types like INTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, some of the most entitled people around and some of the most pushy. Vague generalization, but feel free to observe for your self. Draw your own conclusions.

Remember the 60's hippies that were hugging trees and getting baked at music festivals? Well, these are nothing like them. They are loud, obnoxious and violent.
 

skippythecat

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Dec 1, 2013
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48
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9w1
I'm laughing -- only because an INFJ treated me like I was one of these. Took me awhile to realize that I wasn't the one with the problem. I won't be fooled again!

A friend of mine thought she was an infj for the longest time. Both INFJ and INFP description sounds alike so one would take it as a grain of salt believing "both are me" but which one...She acknowledge to herself two years ago that she's an INFP. I'm just learning about cognitive and the more we talk the more I see INFP. Fi+Ne is very there. Fi is very foreign to me. It's natural to her.
 

Virgo1987

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144
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Infp
A friend of mine thought she was an infj for the longest time. Both INFJ and INFP description sounds alike so one would take it as a grain of salt believing "both are me" but which one...She acknowledge to herself two years ago that she's an INFP. I'm just learning about cognitive and the more we talk the more I see INFP. Fi+Ne is very there. Fi is very foreign to me. It's natural to her.

That's interesting to read. I had no idea what the difference was or what personality types were until a friend of mine said she was an INFJ. I'll probably never truly know if she is an INFP or an INFJ, but I see a lot of myself in INFP (and I keep ending up as that) and everything I read or understand, I should say, about INFJs makes me see my friend... but they seem very rare to come by because no one else I know in my life is an INFJ and no one else is more confusing to me... than her. Not that it makes her a terrible person, but I reached my limit of trying to figure her out because hey -- there's only so much anyone can do to reach out to someone who wants help, but doesn't want your help... like I said -- confusing.
 

Virgo1987

New member
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Jun 24, 2016
Messages
144
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Infp
Meh, life is about experience. You get special snowflakes in any type. Sometimes it's that one intuitive asshole that thinks so highly of oneself, others it's that sensor prick that is so absorbed in one's self narcissism. People come in different flavors. Some of those flavors are shitty. You gotta pick and choose and try not to acquire a taste for shit flavor.



It's the society we live in. The daycare generation has reached college and is now more bitchy and retarded than any previous generation. You know, SJW, Feminists, BLM. Everybody is so special. They didn't receive enough hugs from their parents and are feeling so special. You need to cater to these people's every fucking whim. Failure to do so means you're a bigot, misogynist or racist, which you can mix as needed.

Who are these people? Well, millennials mostly, people that the parents put in care of the state to raise them as toddlers. Put in front of the tv as young children to give parents some "peace and quiet". Then as they grew older their parents gave them whatever they wanted to wash away the guilt of not actually being involved in their lives and education. There are some of the older generation among these loud assholes as well *AHEM* MARXIST TEACHERS *AHEM*. Again, from families that let others raise their kids, failing to connect and educate their young because they were too busy filling spreadsheets for "The Man".

Interesting read: Laura Perrins: Daycare generation are now the students throwing tantrums over safe spaces - The Conservative Woman

I was actually interested in learning more about these overgrown children. Although my research methods are based on empirical data, I did notice a certain type of personality to be dominant with such people. They're not INFJs, or at least not the thick of it. For a while I thought they may be INFPs. Nope, that wasn't either, I figured out INFPs are smarter than that.

Then I noticed how these people do not have the basics of human interaction and regard for others. And started to look at XXTJ. And wouldn't you know it, bingo, found them. INTJs take the cake and so far I've seen these types to be very common among these people. Types like INTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, some of the most entitled people around and some of the most pushy. Vague generalization, but feel free to observe for your self. Draw your own conclusions.

Remember the 60's hippies that were hugging trees and getting baked at music festivals? Well, these are nothing like them. They are loud, obnoxious and violent.

Don't even get me started on young people getting what they want, when they want... never being held accountable for anything. I've seen it for the last seven years indirectly speaking and I'm always like... was I like this when I was younger? And then I remember -- I wasn't, because one moment of acting like a total fool, I'd get my mother's wooden spoon or my father's threat of the belt.

And I know how "extreme" that will sound to some people because friends of mine the same age as me (I don't have that many who are my age because of ALL of these reasons), some have their own children and they believe that physical discipline is child abuse. It's none of my business because I don't have any children and I will never pretend to know what the responsibility of a parent is, but all I'm saying is I got whacked enough times and it didn't make me hate my parents. If anything, I respect them not only then, but even now. I'm probably the only 29 year old that doesn't fight either of my parents on things... I just see them as very mature people who did the right thing in raising me.

Of course the friends I do have who were brought up differently... they have such a deep negative reaction to both of their parents. They're always swearing at them and fighting with them... at my age I've never once swore at either of my parents and it's been a long time already that I've been classified as an adult. I just don't feel right about it.

I dunno... sometimes I wonder if it's an American thing? But perhaps it isn't... all I know is my parents are from two different countries and while I was born in America, I was brought up with their culture as well as me picking up the American culture in schools. Ever since I was about 11 years old I can remember my friends just cursing their parents out and their parents allowing them to do so.

In the end -- I wonder if things will ever change. To see so many young people so full of themselves and so not aware of the world around them just irks me. They don't understand sarcasm either, yet they don't understand hard facts... so where do you go with them? They're bouncing from one thing to the next and they're not even picking up after themselves. And their parents... they are either so unaware of how to raise their children or they drive them so hard that when their child does something wrong, it's never their child's fault... even if it is. They're just not being held accountable for anything and it makes me wonder... and does it ever stop? I hear from parents themselves always making an excuses for their children as well and it's like... how can you actually tell somebody this? They say oh well you don't have children and it's like no that's not it... it's the fact that you're letting your child CONTROL.

And then people wonder why parents end up in nursing homes across America...

And just to add -- NOT ALL PARENTS... but there's almost a complete increase in people of a certain age when it comes to how they behave.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
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If someone really wants to be any particular type, is it so horrible to "let" them, even if it doesn't fit with your idea of MBTI theory? One thing I've learned on these forums is that everyone has their own idea about what each type is, and even the available literature on types is inconsistent. If someone is dying to be an ENFP, ISTJ, INFJ, or INFP, what's the big problem with being cool with that?
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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If someone really wants to be any particular type, is it so horrible to "let" them, even if it doesn't fit with your idea of MBTI theory? One thing I've learned on these forums is that everyone has their own idea about what each type is, and even the available literature on types is inconsistent. If someone is dying to be an ENFP, ISTJ, INFJ, or INFP, what's the big problem with being cool with that?

I don't like type witch hunts for this reason.... I am happy to aid someone in their self-typing, but I don't like to push too much nor will I harass someone if they settle on a type I don't see them as.

It's not productive in anyway and just plain rude. If someone types a certain way, then that may be a part of their growth process anyhow. There may be some reason they need to type that way, and if someone is super attached to a type, then it can suggest other things about their ego that are valid.
 

Forever

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If someone really wants to be any particular type, is it so horrible to "let" them, even if it doesn't fit with your idea of MBTI theory? One thing I've learned on these forums is that everyone has their own idea about what each type is, and even the available literature on types is inconsistent. If someone is dying to be an ENFP, ISTJ, INFJ, or INFP, what's the big problem with being cool with that?

Often times someone complains how a certain type is often like this or that. Well, why would someone want to be attacked with insults that may not apply to that person with the correct type because it has extrapolated by people who are incorrectly typed is one reason I could think of. I hope that this makes sense, I'm writing this on little time.

ETA:

tl;dr Bad samples cause a misunderstanding of type and may even embarrass others of the correct type.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Often times someone complains how a certain type is often like this or that. Well, why would someone want to be attacked with insults that may not apply to that person with the correct type because it has extrapolated by people who are incorrectly typed is one reason I could think of. I hope that this makes sense, I'm writing this on little time.
I can see that happening if the person they are talking about actually took the test and is actually designated as the wrong type because of their choice. I think people informally type others and discuss their behaviors based on their own typing of those people and not on the actual people's typing of themselves.

As a person who has been in these discussions for over a decade, has done a fair amount of reading and observing, human behavior is quite complex. It isn't that easy to place everyone as absolutely one type each. I feel like it is easiest to type acquaintances, but harder to type someone you know well.

Ideally the first point of reference for all of this is Jung's writing, since he invented the whole system, and then subsequent writers who are credible, then individuals typing themselves (because they are experts of self and have some knowledge of theory), and lastly people typing other people. I understand there is value in being consistent with the theory, but the application of it is quite messy, and it doesn't seem like self-typing is the primary source of the mess. It seems like the primary source is when people type everyone else based on their pre-set assumptions which can be flawed.. My impression is that a lot of times people see others' typing as wrong because it conflicts with their assumptions, not so much because it conflicts with the theory. Perhaps if someone's type seems really off-base it makes more sense to quote the theory, rather than essentially saying, "Well my aunt Lizzy was an ENFP and you aren't anything like her".
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Edit: There are the experts on the theory and there are experts on "self". We are each the expert on our own self, and have varying degrees of expertise on the theory. I see "self" as half of the knowledge needed to make an accurate typing, so a person who was a stranger to Jung could type their own self better than Jung could - until he got to know them. Does that make sense?
 
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