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Thread: INFPs who want to be INFJs...

  1. #71
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    FWIW, I agree with you, but ... um ... well ... you miiiight be reinforcing the "no sense of humor" stereotype, with this response. You know I don't pepper my posts with emoticons, right?
    Oh, I realize that in this context, you meant it as an off the cuff remark, but in several other threads you've said something to the same effect. I think the last time, you put the nail video up and said people were just complaining about each others' nails, so I assume on some level it bothers you to let them have it out (maybe seems inefficient if you feel you have a shortcut to the conclusions they'll eventually make?? Just stabbing in the dark). I'm not sure why and I've ruled out most of the reasons I can think of as being implausible. I needed more context to make sense of it, because I assume I am misinterpreting it somehow and I'd rather not. Or maybe a comment is just a comment and I'm only projecting, because if an INFJ said it, it would be a less frontal way of telling people that they are causing problems and need to quit because it's starting to infringe on other people.

    Certainly yes, INFJs are likely to take things very seriously and literally, so I can see why the no sense of humour thing (and how I just reinforced that). In general, I dislike silliness and miss dry humour if I don't know the person well enough to have context.

    I find some of the INFJs here quite funny in their own way. It just shows up here and there in unexpected places. I think they generally have to be pretty comfortable before you see a lot of the funny side of them though.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Which type, INFJ or INFP, is more likely to enter a fight to the death because you insulted one of their tribe?
    INFJ if i'm the only INFP because i don't have time to care if my tribe gets insulted. I don't like many people and that includes many INFPs shhhh don't tell them, because i particularly don't like the overly sensitive ones. not all INFPs are overly sensitive BTW

  3. #73
    Junior Member Array Chiroical's Avatar
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    Regarding the INFJ sense of humor, I can't speak for all of us, but I have a very dark sense of humour and it's a pretty big part of how I interact with others. What I lack is the ability to give a shit about humour when there's something more serious happening. I I'm engaged in the sort of discussion that's going on here I'm far more inclined to intentionally overlook or outright ignore jokes, thinking they're a waste of time because there's something more important to deal with. Even when it's really just something fairly trivial that's been inflated in my head.

  4. #74
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Oh, I realize that in this context, you meant it as an off the cuff remark, but in several other threads you've said something to the same effect. I think the last time, you put the nail video up and said people were just complaining about each others' nails, so I assume on some level it bothers you to let them have it out, but I'm not sure why and I've ruled out the reasons I can think of, so I needed to ask you for more context to make sense of it, because I assume I am misinterpreting it somehow and I'd rather not. Or maybe a comment is just a comment and I'm only projecting, because if an INFJ said it, it would be a less frontal way of telling people that they are causing problems and need to quit because it's starting to infringe on other people.

    Certainly yes, INFJs are likely to take things very seriously and literally, so I can see why the no sense of humour thing (and how I just reinforced that). In general, I dislike silliness and miss dry humour if I don't know the person well enough to have context.

    I've found some of the INFJs here quite funny in their own way. It just shows up here and there in unexpected places. I think they generally have to be pretty comfortable before you see a lot of the funny side of them though.
    Yes, it was just a sardonic comment, meant in jest, poking fun at myself. But perhaps it's indirectly helpful, here: others in the thread should note why you responded seriously. Without context, it isn't necessarily funny, and could conceivably be very serious in certain contexts, even with an emoticon attached. You don't get to see the wry look or the twinkle in the eye, or hear me chuckle upon reading your reply.

    Humor has always been a funny thing. Usually, when people accuse you of having no sense of humor, they mean that you didn't laugh at their joke, and, well, of course, their jokes are always funny, right?

    As for the INFP/INFJ thing, it doesn't bother me to let them have it out, so much as I keep on seeing the same patterns - hence the nail video. The video isn't meant to be insulting, it's meant to describe humanity in general. We're all almost willfully blind about certain things. (I am, too, though about different things that most.) It's a funny video because most adults have been on both sides of that archetypal interaction.

    Personally, I believe the answer is to focus on becoming aware of one's own blind spots, and not put so much energy into pointing out those of others; that listening communicates better than telling.

    And that's part of the intended humor of my original post in this thread: I realize that while telling more might generate some interesting conversation, it's probably better that I sit back and listen and learn, for a while.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  5. #75
    Temporal Mechanic. Array Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chiroical View Post
    Regarding the INFJ sense of humor, I can't speak for all of us, but I have a very dark sense of humour and it's a pretty big part of how I interact with others. What I lack is the ability to give a shit about humour when there's something more serious happening. I I'm engaged in the sort of discussion that's going on here I'm far more inclined to intentionally overlook or outright ignore jokes, thinking they're a waste of time because there's something more important to deal with. Even when it's really just something fairly trivial that's been inflated in my head.
    I relate to having darker humor. Mine's generally dry/deadpan. Sometimes crass/graphic for shock value (blame my STP shadow).

    However in serious discussions, I often try to find the humor in them. Not to take away from their importance, but to avoid getting so worked up about it that I lose sight of what's most important in the grand scheme of things, if that makes sense. I've been around a lot of people who take themselves too seriously, & found discussion with them exhausting & rarely productive. Humor is sort of an emotional bridge in communication, when you can get it right (even failed humor can still function as such- illustrates a degree of humility). Overall, I find it makes talking about tougher topics easier, providing the parties involved are on or near the same page.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  6. #76
    Junior Member Array Chiroical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    I relate to having darker humor. Mine's generally dry/deadpan. Sometimes crass/graphic for shock value (blame my STP shadow).

    However in serious discussions, I often try to find the humor in them. Not to take away from their importance, but to avoid getting so worked up about it that I lose sight of what's most important in the grand scheme of things, if that makes sense. I've been around a lot of people who take themselves too seriously, & found discussion with them exhausting & rarely productive. Humor is sort of an emotional bridge in communication, when you can get it right (even failed humor can still function as such- illustrates a degree of humility). Overall, I find it makes talking about tougher topics easier, providing the parties involved are on or near the same page.
    I think that's got to be a healthier perspective toward it all. My whole "must keep fighting, fun be damned" approach is rarely conducive to anything but a build up of frustration. Is that something you had to work on or does it come fairly naturally?

  7. #77
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    Thanks for the explanation. That's useful to know.

    I also wouldn't tend to respond to something like that unless it was part of a bigger pattern and I needed some help in interpreting. I think sometimes people might assume that I feel more distressed than I do, when it's really just that I'm looking for information to be able to clear away sticky notes in my head if they are not really necessary. I like having things in there neat and too much stuff clogging things up just is hard to work around.

    I agree that we all have blind spots. I think the problem though is discovering where those blind spots are and then having the other person describe what it is that we aren't seeing. For me, that is an absolutely necessary part of the process and sometimes in adamantly stating what I think I am seeing and vice-versa, we (me and the other person) realize what parts of the landscape that we take for granted as being obvious simply are not for the other person and are causing misunderstandings. So when someone seems to want to stand in the way of that, I want to understand why, because it feels like they are getting in the way of me getting the information that I want to glean.

    Sometimes if someone outside either group has seen it before and can articulate what is going on, I find it helpful, although I can kind of get a little cat like if they get too prescriptive about what that means next in terms of action. I just want information so that I can make an informed choice about how to engage.

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Yes, it was just a sardonic comment, meant in jest, poking fun at myself. But perhaps it's indirectly helpful, here: others in the thread should note why you responded seriously. Without context, it isn't necessarily funny, and could conceivably be very serious in certain contexts, even with an emoticon attached. You don't get to see the wry look or the twinkle in the eye, or hear me chuckle upon reading your reply.

    Humor has always been a funny thing. Usually, when people accuse you of having no sense of humor, they mean that you didn't laugh at their joke, and, well, of course, their jokes are always funny, right?

    As for the INFP/INFJ thing, it doesn't bother me to let them have it out, so much as I keep on seeing the same patterns - hence the nail video. The video isn't meant to be insulting, it's meant to describe humanity in general. We're all almost willfully blind about certain things. (I am, too, though about different things that most.) It's a funny video because most adults have been on both sides of that archetypal interaction.

    Personally, I believe the answer is to focus on becoming aware of one's own blind spots, and not put so much energy into pointing out those of others; that listening communicates better than telling.

    And that's part of the intended humor of my original post in this thread: I realize that while telling more might generate some interesting conversation, it's probably better that I sit back and listen and learn, for a while.

  8. #78
    Temporal Mechanic. Array Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chiroical View Post
    I think that's got to be a healthier perspective toward it all. My whole "must keep fighting, fun be damned" approach is rarely conducive to anything but a build up of frustration. Is that something you had to work on or does it come fairly naturally?
    I feel almost hypocritical if I can't find the humor in a situation at some point- especially given my humor can be morbid/offensive. If that makes sense. Kinda like when people laugh at jokes targeting various stereotypes, but get all up in arms when it focuses on their own.

    I think my ENFP older brother helped a lot with diffusing conflicts with humor- it sort of left an imprint on how I interacted/processed situations.
    A lot of my friends were devil-may-care SP's, & I envied the mental freedom they seemed to have.

    Also I'm a bit hyper-Ti due to growing up in a rather volatile environment- it's slowly become my nature to initially place my feelings on pause (remain calm inside/out) & attempt to logically evaluate a situation/meanings behind words, perspectives (after awhile you just can't psychologically afford to keep your feelings on your sleeve) before allowing myself to emotionally react. Most of the time, at least. No human's free from having kneejerk emotional responses/drives. The more sensitive the topic, the harder it can be to discuss it in a detached way. Over time I've been able to at the very least, notice that as [or shortly after] it's brought up, & back out of the discussion until I've had some time for reflection. I don't have it down to a science, though.

    Perhaps the Ti-detachment helps me to see the absurdity within certain lines of reasoning (even my own) & the amusement found there helps me to adjust how to approach the topics when they escalate. Not always possible, but it's been helpful on many occasions.

    I'd say it's something I consciously worked on, to some degree. I don't know how to articulate how one puts their feelings on the backburner to dissect something with Ti first. I'm not even sure if it's healthy (sometimes it can be taken too far, & you end up over analyzing everything, can become nihilistic, mired in details, and distracted from achieving whatever was meaningful to you in the 1st place).

    It's said as we mature in life, our inferior functions become more developed, perhaps bring us more balance.

    I dunno, I guess. I got nothin' beyond that.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  9. #79
    Senior Member Array Tiltyred's Avatar
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    It's just that sometimes shit ain't funny.

  10. #80
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    I think NTs find topics that NFs argue about rather trivial, and funny, and vice versa. Sometimes when I see INTJs and INTPs slugging it out I giggle because it's funny in an almost adorable way.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

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