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[INFP] INFPs who want to be INFJs...

iNtrovert

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2012
Messages
359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
They have a stronger sense of self. I often find the reason behind the causes they pursue to be more noble than mine.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
I am easily bribed by pudding or kitten pictures. If you would like to confirm your name in the 90% then please send some to...

attachment.php


pudding.jpg

:D
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't think I could ever qualify as an INFJ, actually. I'm the prototype of a "Perceiver", and I'm really glad there's a logical explanation for what's always been "wrong" with me.

I can tell you part of why it was hard for me to accept INFP as a type, though.

- Mostly, it's because of the descriptions and online reputation.
- Secondly, it's because of the INFPs I know (which are basically my 9w1 family)
- Third, some other personal stuff that I'll save for a more extended rant some other day.

I considered INFP over a decade ago when I first discovered the Myers-Briggs. It describes my work habits accurately, but even highly credible descriptions are like...Meh. Doesn't resonate much. Let alone the crap that gets pulled up with TypeLogic--it's like the opposite of me (I am actually able to relate far more to TypeLogic's description of the INFJ as being shrewd and psychic about human affairs, fwiw. Recognizes my talents far better than INFP does *sticks nose in air*). According to TypeLogic, INFPs are optimistic lil over-idealistic fluffballs that can't even make a coherent argument and don't understand grown-up things like Math and Science and Reality, and can't even memor--...

...

...I'm sorry I just threw up in my mouth.

And, actually, I haven't found any INFP descriptions that really sound like me (again, beyond the work habits). But TypeLogic poisons the well.

The worst thing is that people seem to actually believe this stuff, from what I have perceived. Many INFPs have raised similar complaints, and I've heard a fair amount of things about how "irrational" our people are. I no longer list my type because I've actually had forum people dismiss my arguments (which they never did when I was typed as a Thinker, nor have they IRL).

My family also appear to be 9w1 INFPs. My stepfather in particular was this 9w1/2w1/6w7 stereotype of the "nice guy" silly-hearted INFP who exhibits irrational outbursts and slavishness towards his religion; I was this loud, angry triple reactive thing who habitually out-argued everyone in the family and was good at Science and tried to align my beliefs with Reality. I couldn't believe we were the same type at first. Our minds are just...so different.

But reading Jung puts me about equally Fi and Ne, so that's that. I err in favor of Introversion. And I'm FiNe with it.

Dunno if that answers the OP, but those are some thoughts on INFPness.
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
My image of an INFP is a 4w5 Sp/Sx. 9w1s seem more ISFx and INFJ.
 

Standuble

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
1,149
Half the INFPs I have encountered I do not relate with and the other half I have no desire to relate with. I have no real interest in their values and I am sure that is the same for any who have seen mine. However I am open to them as friends of course.

However I do not relate to any INFJs. I guess I would be like one if I lost any capacity for introspection due to brain damage.

Also [MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION] - ignore the type descriptions. They will probably lead you to experience frustration and type-related shame as they did with me. Detachment from group identity connotations on labels used to define the self is the best course of action.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm the prototype of a "Perceiver", and I'm really glad there's a logical explanation for what's always been "wrong" with me.

Not tryin to be the girl with the off-topic post, but THIS is so good. A thousand times, yes.

:solidarity:
 

Honor

girl with a pretty smile
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
1,580
MBTI Type
?
Instinctual Variant
so
Not tryin to be the girl with the off-topic post, but THIS is so good. A thousand times, yes.

:solidarity:
Woah, because of the icon at the end, I thought this was Halla's post.
 

Samvega

Buddhist Misanthrope
Joined
Dec 11, 2007
Messages
1,073
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Nobody in their right mind "wants" to be an INFJ, if somebody is wanting to be one it's only because they've never had to live as one or they'd be wanting to be an INFP. If I had to choose between those two, I would much rather be an INFP!!! I'm sure most INFJs in fact would rather be an INFP.

Firstly, I don't think INFJs are as rare as we think.

Secondly, I think they're the most commonly mistyped.

Thirdly, I think they're the type most likely to be unhealthy. In other words, it's harder to find an example of a healthy INFJ than any other type (percentage wise to account for their "rareness").

Lastly, INFJs are some of the most emotionally reactive, vindictive, evil little things I've ever met, they're prone to self sabotage, martyrdom, intensely manipulative and self deceived about it and the list goes on. The online saint like descriptions seem to only feed that perception of themselves and make the entire issue worse.

A healthy INFJ is a sight to behold, they're empathetic, upfront, truthful, loyal, flexible, comfortable in their own skin, dynamic, outspoken, motivated, and really spectacular people. I however can count the number of healthy INFJs I know on one hand and don't need the thumb. Most of them "know" what that looks like so they can talk the talk but simply can't walk the walk. Anybody who can't see how Hitler could have been an INFJ has simply never met an INFJ beyond their persona. Anybody who has truly met an INFJ can also see how Jesus, Gandhi, Mother T and MLK were the epitome and embodiment of a healthy INFJ.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Also [MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION] - ignore the type descriptions. They will probably lead you to experience frustration and type-related shame as they did with me. Detachment from group identity connotations on labels used to define the self is the best course of action.

Ugh, I know, right? When I first figured out I was Fi and Ne, I was like, EWW, is that really how people see me?? re: the INFP descriptions. If I went by type descriptions alone, I'd be a textbook ENTP. Still, it's a bit of a disappointment when some folks can read about their type and think, OMG That's so me!! and ... I never got that feeling.


Not tryin to be the girl with the off-topic post, but THIS is so good. A thousand times, yes.

:solidarity:
WOOT! Not off topic! I was the bane of every teacher ever with my disorganization skills and inability to turn in homework on time. I can get things out but haven't yet figured how to put them away.

I understand this is especially common with xNxPs. Our strengths lie elsewhere; we reserve our energy for more important things. ;)
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
o no, bad computer posted something I wasn't done with. See below.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
Nobody in their right mind "wants" to be an INFJ, if somebody is wanting to be one it's only because they've never had to live as one or they'd be wanting to be an INFP. If I had to choose between those two, I would much rather be an INFP!!! I'm sure most INFJs in fact would rather be an INFP.

Firstly, I don't think INFJs are as rare as we think.

Secondly, I think they're the most commonly mistyped.

Thirdly, I think they're the type most likely to be unhealthy. In other words, it's harder to find an example of a healthy INFJ than any other type (percentage wise to account for their "rareness").

Lastly, INFJs are some of the most emotionally reactive, vindictive, evil little things I've ever met, they're prone to self sabotage, martyrdom, intensely manipulative and self deceived about it and the list goes on. The online descriptions seems to only feed this perception of themselves and make the entire issue worse.

A healthy INFJ is a sight to behold, they're empathetic, upfront, truthful, loyal, flexible, comfortable in their own skin, dynamic, outspoken, motivated, and really spectacular people. I however can count the number of healthy INFJs I know on one hand and don't need the thumb. Most of them "know" what that looks like so they can't talk the talk but simply can't walk the walk. Anybody who can't see how Hitler could have been an INFJ has simply never met an INFJ beyond their persona. Anybody who has truly met an INFJ can also see how Jesus, Gandhi, Mother T and MLK were the epitome and embodiment of a healthy INFJ.

Whoa, crazy post man. I agree with everything you said.
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I test INFP and claimed the type for longer than I have any other one. It took a long time for me to warm up to it because of how it was described.

There was that emphasis on causes and service to humanity. Getting caught up in things and not questioning their own agenda. I'm incapable of that and actually more at fault for being too self-absorbed and detached from social issues.

And can we lol at inferior Te making the bearer avoidant of factual disagreement. If an objective truth feels cold and hard, good. I appreciate the chill I get because it forces me to remember lessons and never pick up the same bias twice. I'm glad to be sensitive to challenges because I seek them and that nose helps me to find the ones I personally need most.

People pigeonholing others' types sucks, but it's the saddest when people read yucky things about their own type and resign to them. Just how. Why. I identified with more things than I wanted to in IF descriptions, usually along the lines of social thin-skinnedness, but suggestions that my weaknesses were "just my personality" horrified me. Wrongs are meant to be righted. Before I understood the flexibility of it all, typing as IF felt like giving up on areas of myself that weren't in line with what was IMO good and that I'd dedicated myself to strengthening. So we have strong values, you say? What if I value not being anything you say I am? When I was strung along by my feelz and my fears, I didn't see that as me. I saw that as my problem to get through and out the other side: "I cry too much. I don't want to be this easy to hurt. Can I figure out why I'm living this way I don't want to live, and what my options are for change?" In fact, I've gotten too vehement at times about putting down emotionalism as weakness. Feelings do not always equal values. One is free to challenge the other, and that's wonderful.

Afterthought: lol, This very post is an example of conscious contradiction in the service of balance. ;)
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.
I dunno, though. As a 4w5, I relate totally to the isolation you describe. For me, it sort of comes out through Fi/Si--I'm totally trapped in my own state, and I'm stuck remembering all the past times that I've sucked as well--patterns of isolation and friendlessness, and how I'm never getting out of that. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and all.

I think we've both just got MBTI tools to deal with life, and they can work against us according to our enneatype in very similar ways.

It would be cool if INFPs were magically gifted at achieving inner peace, though. ;) My mind is open to it!

EDIT: I can get happily lost in my own projects, though. Problem is, it is accompanied by a greater sense of having missed the rest of the world. And I'm always aware of how much my Fe sucks, which has been another form of self-reproach ("no social skillz").
 

Standuble

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
1,149
Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.

I'm inclined to disagree with this. Inferior Te is a serious problem and it rampages more or less constantly through the psyche and subconscious. Fi will reveal your reasons for doing something or reveal the flaws in your current desires or feelings and usually the truth hurts. Introspective focus means you know who you are but you cannot ignore who you are. You will see everything in your character - any shame, any failures, any flaws in your character, any emotion and you can't escape or hide from them. It exists inside a meta space you can't turn your attention away from. You are unlikely to find inner peace in such a place; you should aim for merely acceptance of conflict.

Finally there is a profound sense of feeling lost or cast adrift when the invalidation of your current value system means that something which gave your life purpose or direction has been exposed as a lie, a feeling of not being part of something greater than yourself, the internalisation of pain which means you have nobody to turn to and you must suffer alone and a poor capacity for extroverted judgement which will make climbing out your parent's basement a troublesome affair.

That's the gist of it or at least the issues that come to mind. If INFP is better than INFJ then I have my doubts that it is any more than marginally better. I don't think you should wish to be one. There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
If I end up an INFJ I'll eat a whole cake. Which I'll probably promptly throw up, since i can't eat a whole cake without getting sick. I'm not an INFJ so you don't have to worry about my puking on you.
 

Standuble

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
1,149
If I end up an INFJ I'll eat a whole cake. Which I'll probably promptly throw up, since i can't eat a whole cake without getting sick. I'm not an INFJ so you don't have to worry about my puking on you.

What if you threw up something else e.g. a recently eaten meal?
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I test INFP and claimed the type for longer than I have any other one. It took a long time for me to warm up to it because of how it was described.

There was that emphasis on causes and service to humanity. Getting caught up in things and not questioning their own agenda. I'm incapable of that and actually more at fault for being too self-absorbed and detached from social issues.

And can we lol at inferior Te making the bearer avoidant of factual disagreement. If an objective truth feels cold and hard, good. I appreciate the chill I get because it forces me to remember lessons and never pick up the same bias twice. I'm glad to be sensitive to challenges because I seek them and that nose helps me to find the ones I personally need most.

People pigeonholing others' types sucks, but it's the saddest when people read yucky things about their own type and resign to them. Just how. Why. I identified with more things than I wanted to in IF descriptions, usually along the lines of social thin-skinnedness, but suggestions that my weaknesses were "just my personality" horrified me. Wrongs are meant to be righted. Before I understood the flexibility of it all, typing as IF felt like giving up on areas of myself that weren't in line with what was IMO good and that I'd dedicated myself to strengthening. So we have strong values, you say? What if I value not being anything you say I am? When I was strung along by my feelz and my fears, I didn't see that as me. I saw that as my problem to get through and out the other side: "I cry too much. I don't want to be this easy to hurt. Can I figure out why I'm living this way I don't want to live, and what my options are for change?" In fact, I've gotten too vehement at times about putting down emotionalism as weakness. Feelings do not always equal values. One is free to challenge the other, and that's wonderful.

Afterthought: lol, This very post is an example of conscious contradiction in the service of balance. ;)

I can relate to this A LOT, especially the parts I bolded. :hug:
 
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