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Thread: INFPs who want to be INFJs...

  1. #181
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Edit: There are the experts on the theory and there are experts on "self". We are each the expert on our own self, and have varying degrees of expertise on the theory. I see "self" as half of the knowledge needed to make an accurate typing, so a person who was a stranger to Jung could type their own self better than Jung could - until he got to know them. Does that make sense?
    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Admiral Crunch View Post
    It might be fine for some people, but I rather not live in a world where people think it is okay for dolphins to rape each other.

  2. #182
    Member Array Hetaira's Avatar
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    My best friend and cousin is an INFJ (female), and I dated an INFJ (male) for about 6 months.

    Noooo! I would much rather be an INFP than an INFJ. Both of them are quick to complain about their surroundings and how others are not "treating them like they should," tend to have traits of hypochondria, unable to manage money worth a shit, and always seem to have this idealistic view of how things "should be" instead of making lemonade out of lemons.

    Life is what is is. Make the best of it or figure out why you have no friends. Although she is my best friend and I love her dearly, she continually compares herself with me and "wishes I have the material things you do...." Well, guess what? I don't go out to eat. Pack my lunch every day, don't go clothes shopping except at a thrift store and learn to not spend money unless it is a NEED and not a WANT~! Not rocket science!

    My apologies if I have offended anyone, but I LOVE being an INFP!!!
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  3. #183
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    @Hetaira You don't make sense. Your wrighting is crude. Don't you agree? Come back later.

  4. #184
    an abyss of Nothingness Array Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    I don't really know as I think INFJs I've met in real life are the dearest people to me. They're real, both light and heavy at the same time, focused but relaxed.

    The one quality in most INFJs that I wish to possess is getting things done.

    However, some of the INFJs on this forum don't seem so very INFJ to me.
    .
    | | | If it is god who makes man, this is the devil finishing touches | | |
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  5. #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    Don't even get me started on young people getting what they want, when they want... never being held accountable for anything. I've seen it for the last seven years indirectly speaking and I'm always like... was I like this when I was younger? And then I remember -- I wasn't, because one moment of acting like a total fool, I'd get my mother's wooden spoon or my father's threat of the belt.
    I get what you're saying. My parents were hardly even violent with me. My sister had suffered from this. As in, she would piss of my parents so much, they had to resort to other forms of punishment. She used to be very "against" them and fought them at any cost. She is now pretty normal and is nowhere near these brats you see these days, but sometimes I think it would have been better if my parents would have tried to reason with her back in the day. I feel like some connection was missed and that it would be lost forever.

    Don't get me wrong, I know that parents used and still use to spank their kids. I don't have any kids yet, but I would definitely try to reason with them before I'd resort to this. It's just that I think more can be achieved by fair trades and talk than by applying punishment as a default solution. But you see, parents hardly have the time to spend with their kids. My parents used to work all day and come home tired. I grew up in a former communist country and it was hard. There where years in which the inflation would go up by 200% a year. That meant that what you earned today was worth less tomorrow, by a lot. None of them had higher education. Yet, I did not fight with them and they hardly ever needed to resort to violence. Being an introvert surely helped, but I do feel like I was more open to talking and to listening to them. They certainly used a different tone with me while I was a child. I think you should try to talk twice before hitting once. If that doesn't work, kick the shit out of the lil' fucker, firing all missiles. #triggering INTENSIFIES

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    And I know how "extreme" that will sound to some people because friends of mine the same age as me (I don't have that many who are my age because of ALL of these reasons), some have their own children and they believe that physical discipline is child abuse. It's none of my business because I don't have any children and I will never pretend to know what the responsibility of a parent is, but all I'm saying is I got whacked enough times and it didn't make me hate my parents. If anything, I respect them not only then, but even now. I'm probably the only 29 year old that doesn't fight either of my parents on things... I just see them as very mature people who did the right thing in raising me.
    Just because you don't have kids does not invalidate your point of view. It may be a less experienced point of view, but at the same time, it may actually be a better point of view. Sometimes, when we are not involved in a process directly it allows us to have a better overview on the whole thing, we may actually see what those inside the system cannot.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    Of course the friends I do have who were brought up differently... they have such a deep negative reaction to both of their parents. They're always swearing at them and fighting with them... at my age I've never once swore at either of my parents and it's been a long time already that I've been classified as an adult. I just don't feel right about it.
    Sounds familiar. Like I saw with my sister. Let it be known that I am not talking ill about her, I am merely stating past events, historically. I was more like you. I didn't think of even speaking in a shitty way with them. That came later and for a certain period of time, when I was in my 20's, but that is another story which is too personal to discuss.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    I dunno... sometimes I wonder if it's an American thing? But perhaps it isn't... all I know is my parents are from two different countries and while I was born in America, I was brought up with their culture as well as me picking up the American culture in schools. Ever since I was about 11 years old I can remember my friends just cursing their parents out and their parents allowing them to do so.
    It isn't. It's everywhere. I mean, like I said, I live in a different place than you. Psychology is universal. The struggles may be different, but the people are the same, they are always more or less what you find everywhere. It's just their surroundings that are different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    In the end -- I wonder if things will ever change. To see so many young people so full of themselves and so not aware of the world around them just irks me. They don't understand sarcasm either, yet they don't understand hard facts... so where do you go with them? They're bouncing from one thing to the next and they're not even picking up after themselves. And their parents... they are either so unaware of how to raise their children or they drive them so hard that when their child does something wrong, it's never their child's fault... even if it is. They're just not being held accountable for anything and it makes me wonder... and does it ever stop? I hear from parents themselves always making an excuses for their children as well and it's like... how can you actually tell somebody this? They say oh well you don't have children and it's like no that's not it... it's the fact that you're letting your child CONTROL.
    Exactly my point that I made earlier. You may not have a car, but may know a lot about the mechanics of a car, even more than the driver of that car. You may also be a good story teller but may not even have lived those stories yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    And then people wonder why parents end up in nursing homes across America...
    Realistically? Feminism. Not the 60's feminism. The 3rd wave disaster. That's the real shitty problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    And just to add -- NOT ALL PARENTS... but there's almost a complete increase in people of a certain age when it comes to how they behave.
    #NOTALLPARENTS #PARENTINGISARELIGIONOFPEACE #PARENTLIVESMATTER

    Because what's a good post without a bit of shitposting at the end?
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  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    That's interesting to read. I had no idea what the difference was or what personality types were until a friend of mine said she was an INFJ. I'll probably never truly know if she is an INFP or an INFJ, but I see a lot of myself in INFP (and I keep ending up as that) and everything I read or understand, I should say, about INFJs makes me see my friend... but they seem very rare to come by because no one else I know in my life is an INFJ and no one else is more confusing to me... than her. Not that it makes her a terrible person, but I reached my limit of trying to figure her out because hey -- there's only so much anyone can do to reach out to someone who wants help, but doesn't want your help... like I said -- confusing.
    I once read from somewhere that INFJ and INFP look similar because both starts with Fi and Ni. Somewhere along the road I read that Ni+Fe can look like Fi. Then enneagram came into the picture saying INFJs with certain ennegrams can look like an INFP. You can learn their behaviors and thinking ways, but figuring people out is impossible. With people who don't want help won't accept help regardless of types. I know if I don't want help I won't ask for it (accepting is the hard part), but I do appreciate my friends who are willing to keep walking alongside with me. I don't try to figure my FPs friends but I do notice certain behavior pattern here and there. Timeless works for them. xD
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  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by skippythecat View Post
    I once read from somewhere that INFJ and INFP look similar because both starts with Fi and Ni. Somewhere along the road I read that Ni+Fe can look like Fi. Then enneagram came into the picture saying INFJs with certain ennegrams can look like an INFP. You can learn their behaviors and thinking ways, but figuring people out is impossible. With people who don't want help won't accept help regardless of types. I know if I don't want help I won't ask for it (accepting is the hard part), but I do appreciate my friends who are willing to keep walking alongside with me. I don't try to figure my FPs friends but I do notice certain behavior pattern here and there. Timeless works for them. xD
    That sounded really nice to hear. It's nice to know that when friends reach out to each other, they appreciate it. I just stopped trying because it came down to the fact that she had already painted me in a terrible light or a wrong light. Nothing I said or tried was thought of as something with good intentions. In her mind my reach was tainted with toxic and manipulation.

    Not that any of this is because she is an INFJ, but knowing she is one or insists she is makes me see that they can be dark and negative people as much as they can be kind and sweet.

    I appreciate a good pal story though! It's always nice to hear. I'm glad it works out for other infp/infj friendships even though it didn't for me.
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  8. #188
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    But seriously. Infjs are like infallible. They have to return to God allmighty for their emotional needs. In my case all needs. We are bound by moral and honor to do the right thing. Ære you not over confident?

  9. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo1987 View Post
    That sounded really nice to hear. It's nice to know that when friends reach out to each other, they appreciate it. I just stopped trying because it came down to the fact that she had already painted me in a terrible light or a wrong light. Nothing I said or tried was thought of as something with good intentions. In her mind my reach was tainted with toxic and manipulation.

    Not that any of this is because she is an INFJ, but knowing she is one or insists she is makes me see that they can be dark and negative people as much as they can be kind and sweet.

    I appreciate a good pal story though! It's always nice to hear. I'm glad it works out for other infp/infj friendships even though it didn't for me.
    I'm sorry to hear this. If she's not in a healthy state of mind, then she needs to mature to see this part of herself. It can look different for each INFJs, but for me, my ideal is confronted by reality. IMO, if the INFJ is mature they can be aware of their through process and let the picture paints itself. Either letting go of ideals or letting go of judgments. I learned the hard way.

    Good luck on friendships.
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  10. #190
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    Quote Originally Posted by mystik_INFJ View Post
    I get what you're saying. My parents were hardly even violent with me. My sister had suffered from this. As in, she would piss of my parents so much, they had to resort to other forms of punishment. She used to be very "against" them and fought them at any cost. She is now pretty normal and is nowhere near these brats you see these days, but sometimes I think it would have been better if my parents would have tried to reason with her back in the day. I feel like some connection was missed and that it would be lost forever. Don't get me wrong, I know that parents used and still use to spank their kids. I don't have any kids yet, but I would definitely try to reason with them before I'd resort to this. It's just that I think more can be achieved by fair trades and talk than by applying punishment as a default solution. But you see, parents hardly have the time to spend with their kids. My parents used to work all day and come home tired. I grew up in a former communist country and it was hard. There where years in which the inflation would go up by 200% a year. That meant that what you earned today was worth less tomorrow, by a lot. None of them had higher education. Yet, I did not fight with them and they hardly ever needed to resort to violence. Being an introvert surely helped, but I do feel like I was more open to talking and to listening to them. They certainly used a different tone with me while I was a child. I think you should try to talk twice before hitting once. If that doesn't work, kick the shit out of the lil' fucker, firing all missiles. #triggering INTENSIFIES Just because you don't have kids does not invalidate your point of view. It may be a less experienced point of view, but at the same time, it may actually be a better point of view. Sometimes, when we are not involved in a process directly it allows us to have a better overview on the whole thing, we may actually see what those inside the system cannot. Sounds familiar. Like I saw with my sister. Let it be known that I am not talking ill about her, I am merely stating past events, historically. I was more like you. I didn't think of even speaking in a shitty way with them. That came later and for a certain period of time, when I was in my 20's, but that is another story which is too personal to discuss. It isn't. It's everywhere. I mean, like I said, I live in a different place than you. Psychology is universal. The struggles may be different, but the people are the same, they are always more or less what you find everywhere. It's just their surroundings that are different. Exactly my point that I made earlier. You may not have a car, but may know a lot about the mechanics of a car, even more than the driver of that car. You may also be a good story teller but may not even have lived those stories yourself. Realistically? Feminism. Not the 60's feminism. The 3rd wave disaster. That's the real shitty problem. #NOTALLPARENTS #PARENTINGISARELIGIONOFPEACE #PARENTLIVESMATTER Because what's a good post without a bit of shitposting at the end?
    Feminism? I'm confuzzled.
    I don't think spanking a child is violence though. Of course that's just myself I'm speaking of. My mother still whacks me from time to time when I get catty and it's like so typical it doesn't phase me. I understand not every person operates that way, but there's also people out there who got it harder than I ever did. My mom's straight out of Italy Italian. She wasn't even allowed to wear makeup... and the day her father caught her...

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