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Thread: INFPs who want to be INFJs...

  1. #131
    Buddhist Misanthrope Array Samvega's Avatar
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    Nobody in their right mind "wants" to be an INFJ, if somebody is wanting to be one it's only because they've never had to live as one or they'd be wanting to be an INFP. If I had to choose between those two, I would much rather be an INFP!!! I'm sure most INFJs in fact would rather be an INFP.

    Firstly, I don't think INFJs are as rare as we think.

    Secondly, I think they're the most commonly mistyped.

    Thirdly, I think they're the type most likely to be unhealthy. In other words, it's harder to find an example of a healthy INFJ than any other type (percentage wise to account for their "rareness").

    Lastly, INFJs are some of the most emotionally reactive, vindictive, evil little things I've ever met, they're prone to self sabotage, martyrdom, intensely manipulative and self deceived about it and the list goes on. The online saint like descriptions seem to only feed that perception of themselves and make the entire issue worse.

    A healthy INFJ is a sight to behold, they're empathetic, upfront, truthful, loyal, flexible, comfortable in their own skin, dynamic, outspoken, motivated, and really spectacular people. I however can count the number of healthy INFJs I know on one hand and don't need the thumb. Most of them "know" what that looks like so they can talk the talk but simply can't walk the walk. Anybody who can't see how Hitler could have been an INFJ has simply never met an INFJ beyond their persona. Anybody who has truly met an INFJ can also see how Jesus, Gandhi, Mother T and MLK were the epitome and embodiment of a healthy INFJ.
    Signatures are lame.

  2. #132
    Senior Member Array Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    Also @Sanjuro - ignore the type descriptions. They will probably lead you to experience frustration and type-related shame as they did with me. Detachment from group identity connotations on labels used to define the self is the best course of action.
    Ugh, I know, right? When I first figured out I was Fi and Ne, I was like, EWW, is that really how people see me?? re: the INFP descriptions. If I went by type descriptions alone, I'd be a textbook ENTP. Still, it's a bit of a disappointment when some folks can read about their type and think, OMG That's so me!! and ... I never got that feeling.


    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Not tryin to be the girl with the off-topic post, but THIS is so good. A thousand times, yes.

    WOOT! Not off topic! I was the bane of every teacher ever with my disorganization skills and inability to turn in homework on time. I can get things out but haven't yet figured how to put them away.

    I understand this is especially common with xNxPs. Our strengths lie elsewhere; we reserve our energy for more important things.

  3. #133
    Video Deadly Array Alaska's Avatar
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    o no, bad computer posted something I wasn't done with. See below.
    4w5 6w7 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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  4. #134
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Nobody in their right mind "wants" to be an INFJ, if somebody is wanting to be one it's only because they've never had to live as one or they'd be wanting to be an INFP. If I had to choose between those two, I would much rather be an INFP!!! I'm sure most INFJs in fact would rather be an INFP.

    Firstly, I don't think INFJs are as rare as we think.

    Secondly, I think they're the most commonly mistyped.

    Thirdly, I think they're the type most likely to be unhealthy. In other words, it's harder to find an example of a healthy INFJ than any other type (percentage wise to account for their "rareness").

    Lastly, INFJs are some of the most emotionally reactive, vindictive, evil little things I've ever met, they're prone to self sabotage, martyrdom, intensely manipulative and self deceived about it and the list goes on. The online descriptions seems to only feed this perception of themselves and make the entire issue worse.

    A healthy INFJ is a sight to behold, they're empathetic, upfront, truthful, loyal, flexible, comfortable in their own skin, dynamic, outspoken, motivated, and really spectacular people. I however can count the number of healthy INFJs I know on one hand and don't need the thumb. Most of them "know" what that looks like so they can't talk the talk but simply can't walk the walk. Anybody who can't see how Hitler could have been an INFJ has simply never met an INFJ beyond their persona. Anybody who has truly met an INFJ can also see how Jesus, Gandhi, Mother T and MLK were the epitome and embodiment of a healthy INFJ.
    Whoa, crazy post man. I agree with everything you said.

  5. #135
    Video Deadly Array Alaska's Avatar
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    I test INFP and claimed the type for longer than I have any other one. It took a long time for me to warm up to it because of how it was described.

    There was that emphasis on causes and service to humanity. Getting caught up in things and not questioning their own agenda. I'm incapable of that and actually more at fault for being too self-absorbed and detached from social issues.

    And can we lol at inferior Te making the bearer avoidant of factual disagreement. If an objective truth feels cold and hard, good. I appreciate the chill I get because it forces me to remember lessons and never pick up the same bias twice. I'm glad to be sensitive to challenges because I seek them and that nose helps me to find the ones I personally need most.

    People pigeonholing others' types sucks, but it's the saddest when people read yucky things about their own type and resign to them. Just how. Why. I identified with more things than I wanted to in IF descriptions, usually along the lines of social thin-skinnedness, but suggestions that my weaknesses were "just my personality" horrified me. Wrongs are meant to be righted. Before I understood the flexibility of it all, typing as IF felt like giving up on areas of myself that weren't in line with what was IMO good and that I'd dedicated myself to strengthening. So we have strong values, you say? What if I value not being anything you say I am? When I was strung along by my feelz and my fears, I didn't see that as me. I saw that as my problem to get through and out the other side: "I cry too much. I don't want to be this easy to hurt. Can I figure out why I'm living this way I don't want to live, and what my options are for change?" In fact, I've gotten too vehement at times about putting down emotionalism as weakness. Feelings do not always equal values. One is free to challenge the other, and that's wonderful.

    Afterthought: lol, This very post is an example of conscious contradiction in the service of balance.
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  6. #136
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

    I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.
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  7. #137
    Senior Member Array Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

    I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.
    I dunno, though. As a 4w5, I relate totally to the isolation you describe. For me, it sort of comes out through Fi/Si--I'm totally trapped in my own state, and I'm stuck remembering all the past times that I've sucked as well--patterns of isolation and friendlessness, and how I'm never getting out of that. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and all.

    I think we've both just got MBTI tools to deal with life, and they can work against us according to our enneatype in very similar ways.

    It would be cool if INFPs were magically gifted at achieving inner peace, though. My mind is open to it!

    EDIT: I can get happily lost in my own projects, though. Problem is, it is accompanied by a greater sense of having missed the rest of the world. And I'm always aware of how much my Fe sucks, which has been another form of self-reproach ("no social skillz").

  8. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Sometimes I wish I had more Fi because it seems like it would be a less lonely state of mind to be an INFP than an INFJ. I think INFPs are capable of great passion and sadness, but INFJs can likely feel more complete isolation. Fe longs to connect, but Ni can create such a sense of disconnection and it can amplify aspects of the outside world working as an inwardly turned megaphone. When patterns are identified down to their core, when those patterns demonstrate isolation or rejection, it can trigger such deep resonance of pain.

    I think both types can fall into self-loathing, but for different reasons. I think INFJs are more dependent on emotional and experiential things which are external and outside their control. I think it may be easier for an INFP to achieve inner peace, but I'm not certain.
    I'm inclined to disagree with this. Inferior Te is a serious problem and it rampages more or less constantly through the psyche and subconscious. Fi will reveal your reasons for doing something or reveal the flaws in your current desires or feelings and usually the truth hurts. Introspective focus means you know who you are but you cannot ignore who you are. You will see everything in your character - any shame, any failures, any flaws in your character, any emotion and you can't escape or hide from them. It exists inside a meta space you can't turn your attention away from. You are unlikely to find inner peace in such a place; you should aim for merely acceptance of conflict.

    Finally there is a profound sense of feeling lost or cast adrift when the invalidation of your current value system means that something which gave your life purpose or direction has been exposed as a lie, a feeling of not being part of something greater than yourself, the internalisation of pain which means you have nobody to turn to and you must suffer alone and a poor capacity for extroverted judgement which will make climbing out your parent's basement a troublesome affair.

    That's the gist of it or at least the issues that come to mind. If INFP is better than INFJ then I have my doubts that it is any more than marginally better. I don't think you should wish to be one. There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

  9. #139
    Senior Member Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    If I end up an INFJ I'll eat a whole cake. Which I'll probably promptly throw up, since i can't eat a whole cake without getting sick. I'm not an INFJ so you don't have to worry about my puking on you.

  10. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    If I end up an INFJ I'll eat a whole cake. Which I'll probably promptly throw up, since i can't eat a whole cake without getting sick. I'm not an INFJ so you don't have to worry about my puking on you.
    What if you threw up something else e.g. a recently eaten meal?

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