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  1. #91
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    @fia Yeah, its the whole need to be honest and authentic coupled with really respecting that person who she does not want to see taken advantage of by a thing like social gaming strategy. We re retards in that area often coz we re naive enough to believe social strategies should not be a concern between genuine people, and make the assumption everyone sees the world the way we do (most types have this problem before either life or mbti teaches them differently).

    Iow, she thought you might be trying to take advantage of the teacher with her help and chose to err on the side of caution by letting you know in no uncertain terms that it wasnt going to fly.
    I think you are right. One thing that is important to realize is that in that example, I don't think in terms of social games at all. I mostly just want to avoid getting hurt and ending up crying or embarrassing myself because that teacher had an extremely dominant personality (possible ESTJ). I wonder how she thought I could take advantage of the teacher, and I think she could well of thought something like that. Just over and over I find that thinking negative assumptions ends up causing confusion and hurt. Edit: And my feelings were hurt by her for assuming everything good about her teacher and everything bad about me as her friend. Her teacher was confusing to me because I saw her be condescending to colleagues with greater skill sets in some manner, and noticed that her students tend to have an unquestioning loyalty to her. I could see her publicly tearing me down to establish that level of dominance, and so I was afraid of her, but certainly she could be a wonderful contributor in the world. I also thought she could be like my mentor, so frankly, I didn't know what to think of her and needed help from a trusted friend which I didn't get. All I got was a confirmation of that absolute loyalty which could fit into any of what I already knew and didn't clear anything up. I still didn't know if I could trigger a scenario where the teacher would tear me down before rebuilding me. /edit.

    It is important to have advice on interacting with new people who have different personalities or cultures, and that is quite different from social games. It is a way to make things easier for the other person and to assume the other person doesn't haven't to accommodate our flaws, assumptions, and social errors. It's about learning to work within the other person's assumptions, so they don't have as much burden of adapting to you. It is about the kindness of letting the other person have more free reign and be authentic. I care 100% about authenticity.

    Edit: for clarification, I would say that this sort of adapting is the same in my mind as getting a person a blanket who is cold, but it is the abstract version of it. There is also the initial aspect I mentioned of self protection if I think the person is intimidating. I have an intimidating mentor from the past whom I adore and admire, but I would advise someone to not try to impress her verbally, but to just let her make up her mind about your ability. She is not impressed by any attempts at "bragging", and sincere people can do that. That is a good example of the type of advice I was thinking of when asking the question.
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  2. #92
    A snowstorm is coming... Amargith's Avatar
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    No, I get that. It is something that young people have to learn on their own though unfortunately. I too am very much about seeing what kind of person I have in front of me these days, but I wasnt always this way...and it got me hurt and confused a *lot* of times, because I idealistically believed that if I presented with good intentions and in a harmless way, people would appreciate it. And it stung as well when others then found it too good to be true and labelled me with all kinds of agendas.

    Fwiw, she likely could not fathom any other reason as to why you would be asking such a question - since enfps tend to be so blind to that way of approaching others; Fe is a *LOT* better at this, so she made it clear that that wasnt something she wanted a part of. It probably also confused her, as she was your friend, that you would even ask such a thing, and possibly made her a bit doubting on her judgement of you as a person. Hopefully, as she grew older, she figured out what was going on
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  3. #93
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    @fia I know what you mean by that kind of teacher, and I find them intimidating as well. Most of the time how they can inspire so much love and respect from their students is kinda... cult-ish...
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #94
    Junior Member heartshapedbox's Avatar
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    It was the other way round with me. I typed at first as INFJ, but I always found (and still find) INFPs very special and admirable.

    I was always a little bit annoyed by Fe. Having your own approach and opinion to everything is more important to me. And I am the rare and special type of person who doesn't put much importance on realistic thinking or caring about what doesn't belong to oneself. I like INFJs really much, but they are not kindred spirits to me (as INFPs mostly are).

    When I eventually got the true idea of Fi, understoood the other functions and that I'm more of an INFP (even though I use Ni very often), I was really happy. I am happy with being an INFP.
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  5. #95
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Haven't heard much in the way of INFPs wanting to be INFJ...... only newbie INFPs who want to be more "J-like" (I want to get stuffs done!) or who mistype as INFJ because they are "J-like" (require punctuality, decisive in matters of the heart, etc.)

  6. #96
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    What happened about this in the end? Necrobump.

  7. #97
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    It's gotta be that dominant Ni that INFPs envy. So unique and mysterious and so much more special and interesting than dominant Fi.
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  8. #98
    President of the Galaxy Anaximander's Avatar
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    I never wanted to be an INFJ (no offense to the INFJ people here, you're all beautiful people). When I typed as one once I was disappointed I hadn't scored INFP again. There are times that I still wonder although I like to think I'm an INFP. Many of the INFJ traits and characteristics I read about here and elsewhere fit me to a tee, so I still wonder occasionally. Everywhere I go I read people saying, "understand the functions, ignore the type profiles if you really wanna find out" Honestly though I still have a difficult time finding out what my dom, aux, tert, etc functions truly are.

    Also, I get why INFPs might desire being a rarer type, but I'd say 4-5% is still pretty damn rare.

    Somewhat off topic but one reason I sometimes question whether I'm an NJ is that people in real life (even those who don't know me too well) seem drawn to me for advice, guidance or my foresight. People will open up to me about all sort of personal info that they wouldn't necessarily share with their family, spouses, lifelong friends.

    Still gonna continue identifying as a P. It's all just a bunch of pseudo science anyway and I can't let it ruin my day or alter my life just because I may not like what I type as. There have also been times I have hated the INFP category and would've loved to be ESTP or INTJ or any other type. I can't think that way.

    Everyone is useful and valuable in their own way, they just need to find their bliss and follow their heart/mind
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  9. #99
    President of the Galaxy Anaximander's Avatar
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    I never wanted to be an INFJ (no offense to the INFJ people here, you're all beautiful people). When I typed as one once I was disappointed I hadn't scored INFP again. There are times that I still wonder although I like to think I'm an INFP. Many of the INFJ traits and characteristics I read about here and elsewhere fit me to a tee, so I still wonder occasionally. Everywhere I go I read people saying, "understand the functions, ignore the type profiles if you really wanna find out" Honestly though I still have a difficult time finding out what my dom, aux, tert, etc functions truly are.

    Also, I get why INFPs might desire being a rarer type, but I'd say 4-5% is still pretty damn rare.

    Somewhat off topic but one reason I sometimes question whether I'm an NJ is that people in real life (even those who don't know me too well) seem drawn to me for advice, guidance or my foresight. People will open up to me about all sort of personal info that they wouldn't necessarily share with their family, spouses, lifelong friends.

    Still gonna continue identifying as a P. It's all just a bunch of pseudo science anyway and I can't let it ruin my day or alter my life just because I may not like what I type as. There have also been times I have hated the INFP category and would've loved to be ESTP or INTJ or any other type. I can't think that way.

    Everyone is useful and valuable in their own way, they just need to find their bliss and follow their heart/mind
    INFP 5w4, 9w8, 3w4

    Fi > Ti > Ne > Ni > Si > Te > Se > Fe

  10. #100
    WALMART
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    I personally doubt you are a lead irrational, @Lyedecker.

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