I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?
I dunno about "boisterous and rude", but sometimes good friends and good times destroy my inhibitions and my interior life goes on display. Particularly with ENFPs. They egg me on and I egg them on (and so on) and eventually I find myself running through the forest at 11pm with security-guards chasing me. It's not something fake I'm putting on - it's more acting on possibilities that I would normally just fantasize about. This happened more in my younger days.
Of course, even in the best of times with the best of friends, there's always the quiet, relentlessly sober little voice underneath it all asking you what the hell you're doing. But it does that anyway.
I think this is something that has given me some trouble also. I'd say it is "authenticity through spontaineity". It doesn't come out as rudeness, but more like hyper-enthusiasm. Im in a state that makes me think that ideas are worth trying out just because they're good ideas and then I end up doing something looney or dangerous.
My situation was the result of a lack of proper communication in the group. When it came to conflict matters, my ENFP, INTJ, and INTP friends tended to act passive-aggressively, and were unable to easily confront issues head-on.
It was nothing serious, but being a natural idealist, I was annoyed at this display of "imperfection".
I believe I could have brought this concept up too much, possibly driving them away more than helping them.
All in all, my expectations for that group tended to be too high. This caused my friends to become cautious and distant around me; therefore causing me to become uncomfortable and insecure about myself while interacting with them.
INFPs often need to work on their tolerance of perceived imperfection. Possibly your situation can relate in some way?
I can feel relaxed when alone and yet on the spot when others are around. Feeling obligated to attend to them and be "on" for them, I might at times overcompensate by becoming loud and obnoxious. Playing the fool to entertain them.
But it depends on so many factors - who the people are, my level of comfort with them, how good I'm feeling about myself, stress, fatigue, etc. The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, and the less I act out this way in the presence of others.
There's reason to be afraid, and reason to open your heart. ~ Seal
Yeah. I'm usually quiet most of the time. Then my friends would show up and I kind of mimic their behavior when I'm not even trying to. Later on I realized that I had said things that I normally wouldn't have. So I'm like 'When did I become this asshole?..' Weird.