Hello again everybody...
I guess this is a pretty iconic issue with us of a NF disposition, but I could not find any threads...
Well, anyway, gah!
Last thread I started here (a couple of weeks ago) got taken down because I sounded suicidal, but this one should be okay :S I suppose things were particularly bad at that point - now they are a bit better. And that is my point. I finally got around to see a doctor, who said I was depressed and gave me antidepressants. I took them for about two weeks, and they made me feel worse rather than better. I realise that this happens quite often and they take a while to kick in, but the effect it had on me was to convince me that, as I felt much worse then, that meant I was pretty okay before. So I stopped taking them and (intentionally) missed my follow up appointment.
So, yeah, a lot of the time things are pretty awful, but that is not the same as depression. It really doesn't feel constant enough for that. Things are never really bad for more than a couple of days, and usually I still manage to attend to at least my most important tasks.
But that is how I feel at the present moment. Today I feel good - of course I'm okay - I should stop being such a wimp and just get on with it. But then comes a bad day, and I just really hope for the world to end and I don't understand how I could ever have thought I was okay.
I'm perfectly aware that this is how I work, but that is not much help at all. How am I meant to know which conclusion is the 'right' one? I have absolutely no faith in my self-knowledge and it just feels like the reality and truth is in constant flux and I know that what is true today is unlikely to be true tomorrow.
I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to cope with these things? Maybe a quick guide to being a person?