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  1. #1
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Default Emotional Voyeurism

    I like to people watch, but I also like to eavesdrop. I don't really get a thrill from it, but it's suddenly more intriguing when I am not directly involved.

    If I'm in public, I may find myself passively listening to conversations around me. If people are speaking in another room, their conversation may catch my attention more than if they were in the same room & especially if including me. If I were IN such conversations, then I would likely find them dull & zone out of them. There's nothing juicy or interesting about them in their topics.

    There's this aspect of being separate or detached from a conversation which allows me to see the dynamics of people from a more, er, objective viewpoint. The internet is fantastic for this - I love to lurk on message boards where people VERY different from myself post. It's the ability to look in from the outside & see how people interact & think that fascinates me.

    To some degree, I think all people are this way (hence the popularity of reality TV; which I actually can't stand), but I don't think they enjoy the kind of sneaky, invisible side of it.

    Would you consider yourself "emotionally voyeuristic"?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #2
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Definitely. Eavesdropping is so delicious.

    I'm assuming because NFs enjoy learning about people. Eavesdropping and being disconnected from a conversation allows for a sort of pseudo-socliological study happen. You get to observe something without interfering with it and see how people react to things.

  3. #3
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I like to watch others. When I see a pretty girl, I watch the men in the vacinity to see how they react to her. Ir can be somewhat amusing. Then I look at the girl some more.

  4. #4
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    I identify with the situations OA mentioned. I would put it down to boredom mostly as when faced with something interesting to think about or do I am completely unconcerned with interpersonal conflict between others or any such people dynamics. However when I do not have such resources drama amusement is often an excellent runner up. Preferably two people having an argument or someone crying or shouting down a phone. I don't know whether such enjoyment would be an enneagram issue or not though I occasionally I like to rile them up further using Ne (e.g. using irritating wordplay, revealing something the other wasn't aware of etc.)

  5. #5
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I like to people watch, but I also like to eavesdrop. I don't really get a thrill from it, but it's suddenly more intriguing when I am not directly involved.

    If I'm in public, I may find myself passively listening to conversations around me. If people are speaking in another room, their conversation may catch my attention more than if they were in the same room & especially if including me. If I were IN such conversations, then I would likely find them dull & zone out of them. There's nothing juicy or interesting about them in their topics.

    There's this aspect of being separate or detached from a conversation which allows me to see the dynamics of people from a more, er, objective viewpoint. The internet is fantastic for this - I love to lurk on message boards where people VERY different from myself post. It's the ability to look in from the outside & see how people interact & think that fascinates me.

    To some degree, I think all people are this way (hence the popularity of reality TV; which I actually can't stand), but I don't think they enjoy the kind of sneaky, invisible side of it.

    Would you consider yourself "emotionally voyeuristic"?
    Yes, and for the same reasons as you. I'm insatiably curious about other people.

  6. #6
    Member GreatBigCranberries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Would you consider yourself "emotionally voyeuristic"?
    Yes. I find myself eavesdropping on conversations even before I realise it. At work there are times when I don't notice that I haven't said a word all day, because I've been listening to someone else's conversation. Although if I'm thinking about something else (which is actually quite a lot of the time), then I don't really notice much of what's going on around me.

    I don't know that this kind of interest is just about being NF though. My boss is almost certainly ISTP, and he loves listening in on other's conversations. He finds it amusing.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    I dont do this, I actually tune out most conversation around me, the reason being that I respect others privacy and hope that they'd respect mine.

    So no, I dont consider myself voyeuristic in any sense of the word and think its odd and probably wrong to get a thrill out of that sort of thing, when I was a kid it was still something that people would shame or tease other people about if they thought they were a "nosey parker" and Orwell wrote about in The Lion and The Unicorn I think when he was looking for cultural reasons why the english had an aversion to spies and spying, he knew well that there was as much of it in the UK as anyplace else, he'd be raided himself, but he was proud of the fact that the regular public thought it was wrong.

    Long time ago though, most of the media and a lot of technological advances have led to greater cultures of disclosure and intrusion isnt really viewed that way. Its only of late that the whole "loose lips, sink ships" thing and a consciousness of needing to be more careful about what can be said, to whom and who's likely to over hear or snoop into is dawning on me.

  8. #8
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    I often feel weird about listening in to others' conversations and watching others, but I end up being drawn to other people. It's like I feel a connection with them with what they're saying and registering their emotional reactions. I end up reacting with them internally. I dislike feeling intrusive in this respect, but I end up empathizing with people. It's like I want to connect with them, but I respect their space. Maybe it's overactive Fe for all I know.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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