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[ENFP] ENFPs - Do you feel the need to constantly (and suddenly) move?

Malkavia

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I have moved states or countries about once a year since I was 17. It's been an amazing experience and I've enjoyed my travels, however, it is starting to impede on my ability to settle down.

I moved to Seattle from NYC about 2 months ago. I recently got an amazing job offer with an organization I've been trying to work with for years. It pays well, is the work I want to go into, and is a pretty presitigious program. So why do I want to move again? I've noticed this happens a lot with my friends and relationships as well. I don't like it but I'm stuck on how to change this behavior.

Thoughts?
 

Honor

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I may or may not be ENFP so take this response with a grain of salt but I don't feel this way. I feel completely the opposite way - that I get very attached to my friends, family, relationships, location, etc. when things are working. I feel no desire to change when the situation is good.

I don't know if this is something you can change about yourself, though. And you don't have to! Why would you change it if it makes you happy? Maybe you're not a settle down kind of person.
 

pinkgraffiti

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i've lived in 7 countries in 8 years....and counting...
 

Starry

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I have moved states or countries about once a year since I was 17. It's been an amazing experience and I've enjoyed my travels, however, it is starting to impede on my ability to settle down.

I moved to Seattle from NYC about 2 months ago. I recently got an amazing job offer with an organization I've been trying to work with for years. It pays well, is the work I want to go into, and is a pretty presitigious program. So why do I want to move again? I've noticed this happens a lot with my friends and relationships as well. I don't like it but I'm stuck on how to change this behavior.

Thoughts?

I haven't seen you in a while Malkavia and it's good to see you again. I swear I'm having some deja vu though. As soon as I opened this thread and saw your OP...I immediately thought it was one of your old threads revived (but it's from today haha). I feel like I've seen you express these same concerns before...which if I'm actually remembering correctly...merely speaks to how this weighs heavily on you on an ongoing basis.

I guess what jumps out at me...from what I bolded in the above quote...is the use of the word 'ability'. Yes, moving around a lot will impede on anyone's 'ability' to settle down haha! What I can't get a read on here from you...or from my (either) fake or real memory from before is... Is this really a problem? If settling down wasn't 'the norm'...or what we are all sorta expected to do in adulthood via...idk the messages we receive from the socio-cultural environment...would you be thinking and rethinking your personal choices not to? Or do you actually, deep down inside, wish to put down roots and find you cannot? Should that sentence read: it is starting to impede on my desire to settle down. ?

There are no true rules when it comes to these kinds of things. I've known quite a few people in my time that are constantly moving around...and many of them seem more *financially well off than individuals that have stayed in one spot. [I made mention of financial gain because I've actually heard people say that 'settling down' is the only way to accumulate wealth...but that doesn't appear to be the case...especially in this day and age.]

I haven't moved around a lot recently...but I used to and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. Likewise, if an opportunity presented itself that made sense...I'd move again in a heartbeat.
 

skylights

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Hi again @Malkavia! :hug:

Congratulations on your job offer!

I definitely have the desire to travel often, but I wish I could pack my family up in a suitcase and take them with me. I tend to stay rooted for the sake of being around my family, more than anything. Intermittent travel with my family makes me more happy than living far away from them. I'm really hoping that in about five or so years my boyfriend and I can arrange to live abroad for a while - maybe a few years - but I definitely intend to come back home again to be near my parents. I can see myself being very satisfied with one long annual "exotic" trip while staying rooted in a singular place - as long as that place has lots of cultural influx to keep me interested. And a beach house, preferably, but I'm gonna need a lot of cash.

And maybe another year or so abroad every so often. :laugh:

As for you... well, it sounds like you haven't been grounded in a pretty long time. I don't know if you've already made a decision, but maybe you should give it a shot to just hold out for a while and see if staying put for a couple of years might be more satisfying than you imagine. You can always leave if it really starts getting to you.
 

Malkavia

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Oh my! I am surprised people remember me. :hug:

It is good to be back. I really think I'll enjoy conversations with all y'all like I did in the past.

I haven't seen you in a while Malkavia and it's good to see you again. I swear I'm having some deja vu though. As soon as I opened this thread and saw your OP...I immediately thought it was one of your old threads revived (but it's from today haha). I feel like I've seen you express these same concerns before...which if I'm actually remembering correctly...merely speaks to how this weighs heavily on you on an ongoing basis.

It is hard to remember. I know that, compared to the past, I have become much better at moving around. This was my 5th city to move to without a job and I got an offer in 6 days. I wasn't really expecting it but it helped me realize how much a knack I have for landing somewhere new and immediately making things work.

So, I've changed. A lot. I was in the Middle East at the time of my involvement here last, then I was in NYC for over a year, and now I'm in Seattle. I think even if I have posted about this before I will get something different out of it this time.

I guess what jumps out at me...from what I bolded in the above quote...is the use of the word 'ability'. Yes, moving around a lot will impede on anyone's 'ability' to settle down haha! What I can't get a read on here from you...or from my (either) fake or real memory from before is... Is this really a problem? If settling down wasn't 'the norm'...or what we are all sorta expected to do in adulthood via...idk the messages we receive from the socio-cultural environment...would you be thinking and rethinking your personal choices not to? Or do you actually, deep down inside, wish to put down roots and find you cannot? Should that sentence read: it is starting to impede on my desire to settle down. ?

That's a good point! And probably what I am truly meditating on.

I don't think it is the societal norm that is holding me back, I think it is knowing what true community and having deep, in person friendships feel like. It has been a while since I've experienced those things and fully believe those are some of the most joyous things in life. They take time to develop, however, and can be difficult to maintai when moving around constantly.

It is also important to note I've had some pretty chaotic and emotional online friendships recently and it's made me slightly of the opinion that in-person friends develop better.



:hug:

Congratulations on your job offer!

I definitely have the desire to travel often, but I wish I could pack my family up in a suitcase and take them with me. I tend to stay rooted for the sake of being around my family, more than anything. Intermittent travel with my family makes me more happy than living far away from them. I'm really hoping that in about five or so years my boyfriend and I can arrange to live abroad for a while - maybe a few years - but I definitely intend to come back home again to be near my parents. I can see myself being very satisfied with one long annual "exotic" trip while staying rooted in a singular place - as long as that place has lots of cultural influx to keep me interested. And a beach house, preferably, but I'm gonna need a lot of cash.

And maybe another year or so abroad every so often. :laugh:

As for you... well, it sounds like you haven't been grounded in a pretty long time. I don't know if you've already made a decision, but maybe you should give it a shot to just hold out for a while and see if staying put for a couple of years might be more satisfying than you imagine. You can always leave if it really starts getting to you.

Thank you! It is a dream job, truly. Something I've been working towards for years.

I'm going to stay with this job for at least a couple of years. I think it is a good way to test how I settle down and what the process is for me. Financially and career wise it is also a wise decision. A couple of years here will allow me to move around the world with other NGOs due to its prestige, so that's nice.

So maybe my question is now... HOW do you ENFPs settle down? :D
 

Betty Blue

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I have a preference for moving around, i have lived in a lot of different places. I have not moved country before though and have only had a couple of short term stints outside of London. I like to travel too but have not had as much experience of it as i would like to.

I always dreamed of buying a VW camper van and travelling through Europe on the road with my children for a summer (so far circumstance has not allowed). I travelled through France and Spain on the road with my father as a child and toured France with mother and her band on a seperate occaision. For some that might induce a longing to stay in one place - but i love it! I also daydream of venturing into space...what a trip that would be!
 

skylights

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:hug:

Thank you! It is a dream job, truly. Something I've been working towards for years.

I'm going to stay with this job for at least a couple of years. I think it is a good way to test how I settle down and what the process is for me. Financially and career wise it is also a wise decision. A couple of years here will allow me to move around the world other NGOs due to its prestige, so that's nice.

So maybe my question is now... HOW do you ENFPs settle down? :D

:laugh:

Keeping busy... doing something engaging that I am passionate about... always having my calendar full of future plans, both short-term and long-term... staying connected with my big-picture dreams... getting involved in community groups, or some kind of productive communal activities or volunteer work... being part of organizations or institutions that reflect my values... finding cultural events and celebrations in the area... taking day or weekend trips to places that are far enough away to be interesting but close enough to not subsume the trip in travel details... revelling in the change of the seasons and the unique opportunities temporarily present - engaging in the culture of the time as well as the culture of the place... meeting with different local friends periodically... visiting far away friends less often... gathering with my (local) family more often... studying a multitude of random subjects on the side, including other cultures... continuing growth through wellness and recreation... establishing favorite nooks and visiting them whenever the spirit moves me...

At least for me it's about feeling connected with the greater scope while staying rooted down. As long as I feel like I'm linked in to the outward world, I'm fine. It's when I feel isolated from the greater context that I go completely stir-crazy. It really helps that my boyfriend is into sociocultural events so he always takes me to really neat gatherings, and we go out exploring the city often. I've learned more about this place with him in the last 2 years than I ever did living here before college. I'm always on the lookout for new places to live but there's some Fi/Si comfort part of me that really likes coming back to our cozy, familiar apartment complex at the end of the day. I guess I try to enjoy the present while dreaming about the future, and to enjoy this place while dreaming about others.

PS nice mug :D

And that's so wonderful. You must be so proud of yourself! :flowerz:
 

entropie

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I have moved states or countries about once a year since I was 17. It's been an amazing experience and I've enjoyed my travels, however, it is starting to impede on my ability to settle down.

I moved to Seattle from NYC about 2 months ago. I recently got an amazing job offer with an organization I've been trying to work with for years. It pays well, is the work I want to go into, and is a pretty presitigious program. So why do I want to move again? I've noticed this happens a lot with my friends and relationships as well. I don't like it but I'm stuck on how to change this behavior.

Thoughts?

My first thought was: run away George. :)

It will get better when you leave something big behind that you cant repair, like the love of your life. Granted you ever want to attach yourself to someone like this.
 

Starry

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Oh my! I am surprised people remember me. :hug:

It is good to be back. I really think I'll enjoy conversations with all y'all like I did in the past.

Haha…an ENFP surprised people…
(I'm very happy about the bolded)


It is hard to remember. I know that, compared to the past, I have become much better at moving around. This was my 5th city to move to without a job and I got an offer in 6 days. I wasn't really expecting it but it helped me realize how much a knack I have for landing somewhere new and immediately making things work.

The reason I was trying to get a feel for how…I don't even know what word to use 'surprised?'… ‘baffled?’…you might be when it comes to these sudden yearnings to pick-up & move… was to try and distinguish what is ‘typical ENFP high on life & new experience’ from what is ‘typical ENFP high on life & new experience & enneagram 7.’ Because…while I can’t be certain…I kinda feel like I’m hearing about all of it in your story and there’s definitely a difference (a difference that doesn’t necessarily call into question e3 if that’s something you’re certain of merely because most ENFPs are connected to e7 in some way or another.)

A lot of ENPs will recognize themselves in the bolded sentence above. Few will be at your level of mastery (seriously, the first thing that comes into my mind is 'How To' book). But ‘landing somewhere new and immediately making things work...’? <--That’s Ne heaven man. That’s why Ne exists. And it’s in those moments Ne dom’s get to do exactly what we were born to do. And here is where we shine brightest. Now, a funny thing happens, however, as time goes on…we’ve landed, we’ve immediately made things work…and now comes the point when we’re sorta expected to just keep right on working…and working and working…day in and day out… I’ve noticed it’s at this point haha we start to lose a little of our sparkle as Ne begins to die a slow and painful death. Certainly, there are ENPs all across the planet that deal with the ruts and routines we will undoubtedly face once ‘settled down’…by perpetually creating great things for Ne to do. But there is a breed of ENP (I’m guilty of this)…that doesn’t necessarily take risks with any kind of strategic purpose in mind…but rather deliberately throws themselves into ‘the fire that makes the least sense’ for the excitement of it and an awareness of what can be personally gained by way of knowledge and growth for pushing yourself to do so.

What makes all of the above total-awesomeness into something a little on the ‘e-seveny’ side is when we want to stop and find we cannot. <--I'll keep repeating this...I don't know if this applies...but since the behavior you describe is...basically the #1 most commonly seen e7 behavior manifesting itself from the e7 core issue…I thought I'd at least mention it. Somewhere along the line an individual that is e7 learned to (not) deal with Life’s pain, loss, hardship, etc. by doing a variety of different things to ignore/minimize/not face it in its full-strength entirety. Avoiding negative feelings is most often done by remaining optimistic and on a forward-moving basis towards a better tomorrow. Which, I imagine, is healthy to a certain extent but e7s often unknowingly take it to unhealthy levels when they won’t allow themselves to slow down…when they are constantly distracting themselves from experiencing and addressing painful emotions…by throwing themselves into new experiences. Many e7s will not ‘settle down’ and form attachments for a very specific reason...and their optimism and enthusiasm keeps them a bit oblivious to this fact. Again, I’m not saying you are in fact doing this or are an e7. But if any of it resonates perhaps look into it.


So, I've changed. A lot. I was in the Middle East at the time of my involvement here last...

I lived in the Middle East for a while as well…and of all the places I've been...I believe I miss there the most.


That's a good point! And probably what I am truly meditating on.

I don't think it is the societal norm that is holding me back, I think it is knowing what true community and having deep, in person friendships feel like. It has been a while since I've experienced those things and fully believe those are some of the most joyous things in life. They take time to develop, however, and can be difficult to maintai when moving around constantly.

I relate to this so much and I think it’s great that you are meditating on it and so kindly reminding me to remain mindful of it haha as well. I mean...it’s not easy for me to put it into words but my experience of the world…the unit is ‘the individual’…me, you, someone else – all individuals. And in this way I often forget how important it is to belong to a community…to work within a group towards a purpose. <--Even just typing that out I was like… ‘did I just use the word important and group in the same sentence?’ (terrible I know) Perhaps it is the case I will only ever experience a sense of being an individual within a group as opposed to a ‘group member’…but I do believe it is an important experience to have. To learn from. And again, thank you for reminding me of it.
 

Starry

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I always dreamed of buying a VW camper van and travelling through Europe on the road with my children for a summer (so far circumstance has not allowed).

All I want to know is what color is your VW van in your dreams? Oh wait...you're not talking like Westfalia...(omg I don't even know if Westfalia is the proper word haha). You're talking old school VW bus right? I think for me I like that deep red...or teal...with a surf board on top. [cause of all that awesome surfing in landlocked Germany]
 

Malkavia

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Ah, now I remember what I miss most about this forum. It seems like people actually get what is going on in my head!

Haha…an ENFP surprised people…

It happens. :p

The reason I was trying to get a feel for how…I don't even know what word to use 'surprised?'… ‘baffled?’…you might be when it comes to these sudden yearnings to pick-up & move… was to try and distinguish what is ‘typical ENFP high on life & new experience’ from what is ‘typical ENFP high on life & new experience & enneagram 7.’ Because…while I can’t be certain…I kinda feel like I’m hearing about all of it in your story and there’s definitely a difference (a difference that doesn’t necessarily call into question e3 if that’s something you’re certain of merely because most ENFPs are connected to e7 in some way or another.)

I actually score evenly on e7 and e3 and I have had a hard time choosing one. Most descriptions I connect with e3 more however there was a site that is gone now (moonshine was in the URL?) and the e7 description was...creepily accurate.

I have always chosen e3 because I am normally interested in image, prestige, etc.. and my worst fear is being mediocre. It may be important to note when I say image and prestige I mean what I find prestigious, not society. Maybe since that is so individualistic it is actually e7?

A lot of ENPs will recognize in themselves in the bolded sentence above. Few will be at your level of mastery (seriously, the first thing that comes into my mind is 'How To' book). But ‘landing somewhere new and immediately making things work...’? <--That’s Ne heaven man. That’s why Ne exists. And it’s in those moments Ne dom’s get to do exactly what we were born to do. And here is where we shine brightest.

Exactly! I am in my element when I am going to a new place and I have to hit the ground running. It's like emergency disaster relief. The stress of deployment, the anxiety of going there, and then the thrill of landing on the ground and actually having to do all these crazy things in a completely new environment. It is so seductive to me. And it is where I feel like I am my best.

But there is a breed of ENP (I’m guilty of this)…that doesn’t necessarily take risks with any kind of strategic purpose in mind…but rather deliberately throws themselves into ‘the fire that makes the least sense’ for the excitement of it and an awareness of what can be personally gained by way of knowledge and growth for pushing yourself to do so.

I was told I do this about a week ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. The absolute chaos and stress I put myself through creates a lot of personal development. Almost as if I put myself in these crazy situations no one wants to be in just for the excitement and what it does for me. I always learn something and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I bought my plane ticket to Seattle the day before it left. It was the one of many times people called me crazy.

What makes all of the above total-awesomeness into something a little on the ‘e-seveny’ side is when we want to stop and find we cannot. <--I'll keep repeating this...I don't know if this applies...but since the behavior you describe is...basically the #1 most commonly seen e7 behavior manifesting itself from the e7 core issue…I thought I'd at least mention it. Somewhere along the line an individual that is e7 learned to (not) deal with Life’s pain, loss, hardship, etc. by doing a variety of different things to ignore/minimize/not face it in its full-strength entirety. Avoiding negative feelings is most often done by remaining optimistic and on a forward-moving basis towards a better tomorrow. Which, I imagine, is healthy to a certain extent but e7s often unknowingly take it to unhealthy levels when they won’t allow themselves to slow down…when they are constantly distracting themselves from experiencing and addressing painful emotions…by throwing themselves into new experiences. Many e7s will not ‘settle down’ and form attachments for a very specific reason...and their optimism and enthusiasm keeps them a bit oblivious to this fact. Again, I’m not saying you are in fact doing this or are an e7. But if any of it resonates perhaps look into it.

It is possible, honestly. I know that when I have a problem I prefer to run away from it. I can feel the walls closing in and so I just run. And by run I mean move to a different country instead of facing and solving the problem.

I've also noticed I do "psychological splitting" to a certain degree. When someone (whether in my head or in reality) "betrays" me I just simply cut them off. My Fi is so offended and the only thing I can bring myself to do is immediately find a replacement for them. It is something I've been trying to work on but it literally takes minutes of intense concentration to stop my brain from going down that path. That may be a different topic all together, though. :)

I lived in the Middle East for a while as well…and of all the places I've been...I believe I miss there the most.

I miss it every day. I have photos of Cairo all over my desk and I wear two bracelets and one necklace from there. It stole my heart.

I relate to this so much and I think it’s great that you are meditating on it and so kindly reminding me to remain mindful of it haha as well. I mean...it’s not easy for me to put it into words but my experience of the world…the unit is ‘the individual’…me, you, someone else – all individuals. And in this way I often forget how important it is to belong to a community…to work within a group towards a purpose. <--Even just typing that out I was like… ‘did I just use the word important and group in the same sentence?’ (terrible I know) Perhaps it is the case I will only ever experience a sense of being an individual within a group as opposed to a ‘group member’…but I do believe it is an important experience to have. To learn from. And again, thank you for reminding me of it.

Agreed 100%. I am so individualistic and yet I remember those (few) intense connections I've had with people. I feel pulled between wanting those connections and wanting to maintain myself as an independent individual who travels the world. Community is such an innate human desire. And I want it.
 

Amargith

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It is kind of like the buffet-style choices we make all the time - sampling is important :D

That said, I've lived most of my life in Belgium. I've visited a lot of countries in Europe on on holiday and have lived a year in Russia and am now in my second year in Norway. We're contemplating trying out more countries, such as The Netherlands or Sweden before we decide where to settle down, really. My INTJ is the son of a diplomat so he does not really have any roots and I as an ENFP am happy to follow him around (and work online to make me flexible that way). In truth, my real home is online, in the virtual realm. I do enjoy having our own little private safe haven to retreat to so I'd like to have our own little house at some point. Still, most people have already settled down and started kids at my age. Meanwhile, we're contemplating living all over. My INTJ has expressed the wish to live a year in Asia at some point and he's more than happy to have like several summer homes all over Europe as well. The Asia thing has me somewhat worried - I aint a big fan of poisonous spiders, but overall I'm happy to see the world with him.

And eventually, I hope to encounter the perfect little nook somewhere where I'll feel like living out my days with him by my side :blush:

As for friends and family, I have a tight group of friends Ive just visited again in Belgium. And yes, it is hard to leave them behind. I try to visit them at least once or twice a year. These days, we rent a house for a weekend to catch up with each other on holiday. As for my family...I love them, but I love them even more over a distance - except for my mom, who I talk to on the phone regularly which isnt that different from what it was like when I was still in Belgium, so that works. I will admit that I havent bothered making local friends here in Norway as I know we'll move again. And I do notice that I sometimes miss the sense of community...but then thats what I come here for ;)
 

Starry

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I actually score evenly on e7 and e3 and I have had a hard time choosing one. Most descriptions I connect with e3 more however there was a site that is gone now (moonshine was in the URL?) and the e7 description was...creepily accurate.

I have always chosen e3 because I am normally interested in image, prestige, etc.. and my worst fear is being mediocre. It may be important to note when I say image and prestige I mean what I find prestigious, not society. Maybe since that is so individualistic it is actually e7?

Umm well, fwiw – if I was typing you I would put you at 7w6 sx/so (sx/so approaching balance with sp trailing quite a bit further behind.)

Yah, oceanmoonshine.net is the site you’re referring to and I don’t know why they shut-down. So many people seemingly connected with those descriptions which is significant in my mind. They’re all here somewhere on this site…and I’m thinking I should go find and read the 7 sx/sp. I don’t remember reading that at the time and thinking ‘that is me man!’ But it was definitely the description that first had me admitting to myself how completely mistyped I was haha!

The way you spoke of image and prestige doesn’t quite ring of e3 in my mind. I mean, I think of e3 image, prestige, status, etc. as tools used to obtain admiration. They want to be of worth, indispensible to the largest social circle possible. Many e3s will create unique public images…but they are still taking cues from the social environment. And ‘others’ are definitely needed to be the admirers/audience so, yes, there’s an undeniable social element there (umm, I just made e3s sound like total assholes when so many of them have done amazing things for humankind. sigh). What you said about ‘individualistic’ and indicating your worst case scenario would be seeming ‘mediocre’ says e7 to me. I don’t necessarily expect you to identify with this as you need to take into account differing MBTIs, etc. But the e7 sx/so is often associated with the rock star or fashion designer. There’s an awareness of image…but it’s more about generating interest instead of a specific kind of positive response like ‘admiration’. The point is that there is a response period…and to have something interesting to ponder from those responses as well haha.


It is possible, honestly. I know that when I have a problem I prefer to run away from it. I can feel the walls closing in and so I just run. And by run I mean move to a different country instead of facing and solving the problem.

I've also noticed I do "psychological splitting" to a certain degree. When someone (whether in my head or in reality) "betrays" me I just simply cut them off. My Fi is so offended and the only thing I can bring myself to do is immediately find a replacement for them. It is something I've been trying to work on but it literally takes minutes of intense concentration to stop my brain from going down that path. That may be a different topic all together, though. :)

This is all distinctly e7 as well. And to talk about interesting ha… It’s interesting to me whenever I hear others talk about e7 as being superficial, unfeeling, uncaring… Because in my mind, at least what I believe is really going on beneath the surface as far as e7 ENFPs, is in reality we are too deep, too sensitive…we feel too much and care too much that others should thank us very kindly for ‘psychologically splitting’ and remaining cheerful as we throw ourselves head-long into the next project. Of course, this doesn’t aid us in becoming part of a community though so…perhaps learning how to detach a little like the e5…and face those feelings as they arise may in fact be our best bet. <--and wow, hopefully I’ll learn how to do that prior to age 123.

I need to say though…that in spite of writing 18 paragraphs that may indicate otherwise haha (totally don’t know how many paragraphs I’ve just written but I feels like I’ve written a lot!)…my mission here isn’t to convince you - you are e7. Whatever your e-type may be…I merely believe the answer to ‘ENFPS – do you feel the need to constantly (and suddenly) move?’ will only be found by reading everything you can possibly get your hands on regarding ‘enneagram & lucky number seven.’


I was told I do this about a week ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. The absolute chaos and stress I put myself through creates a lot of personal development. Almost as if I put myself in these crazy situations no one wants to be in just for the excitement and what it does for me. I always learn something and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I bought my plane ticket to Seattle the day before it left. It was the one of many times people called me crazy.

Yup. And *sniff* you do your type proud. You do your type proud. (seriously, this is what makes me proud to be ENFP e7 in spite of the fact you might be ENFP e3.)


I miss it every day. I have photos of Cairo all over my desk and I wear two bracelets and one necklace from there. It stole my heart.

Is one of those bracelets an ‘evil eye’ bracelet?

blue-evil-eye-bead-bracelet.jpg



And is the necklace a scarab beetle necklace?

il_fullxfull.379377889_e1i1.jpg



I lived in Garden City. And yes, Cairo and the entire Middle East should be thankful that I do the ‘psychological splitting’ thing.

cairo-home.jpg


wg-cairo-28482-400x300.gif


cairo.jpg
 

Malkavia

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
289
MBTI Type
ENXP
Enneagram
3w4
Umm well, fwiw – if I was typing you I would put you at 7w6 sx/so (sx/so approaching balance with sp trailing quite a bit further behind.)

I don't now what any of that means. ; ;

Yah, oceanmoonshine.net is the site you’re referring to and I don’t know why they shut-down. So many people seemingly connected with those descriptions which is significant in my mind. They’re all here somewhere on this site…and I’m thinking I should go find and read the 7 sx/sp. I don’t remember reading that at the time and thinking ‘that is me man!’ But it was definitely the description that first had me admitting to myself how completely mistyped I was haha!

I'll have to look for it, as well. 7w6..7w6...7w6...

The way you spoke of image and prestige doesn’t quite ring of e3 in my mind. I mean, I think of e3 image, prestige, status, etc. as tools used to obtain admiration. They want to be of worth, indispensible to the largest social circle possible. Many e3s will create unique public images…but they are still taking cues from the social environment. And ‘others’ are definitely needed to be the admirers/audience so, yes, there’s an undeniable social element there (umm, I just made e3s sound like total assholes when so many of them have done amazing things for humankind. sigh). What you said about ‘individualistic’ and indicating your worst case scenario would be seeming ‘mediocre’ says e7 to me. I don’t necessarily expect you to identify with this as you need to take into account differing MBTIs, etc. But the e7 sx/so is often associated with the rock star or fashion designer. There’s an awareness of image…but it’s more about generating interest instead of a specific kind of positive response like ‘admiration’. The point is that there is a response period…and to have something interesting to ponder from those responses as well haha.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell. Do I like admiration? Well...yeah. I'm sure a lot of ENFPs do. ;)


This is all distinctly e7 as well. And to talk about interesting ha… It’s interesting to me whenever I hear others talk about e7 as being superficial, unfeeling, uncaring… Because in my mind, at least what I believe is really going on beneath the surface as far as e7 ENFPs, is in reality we are too deep, too sensitive…we feel too much and care too much that others should thank us very kindly for ‘psychologically splitting’ and remaining cheerful as we throw ourselves head-long into the next project. Of course, this doesn’t aid us in becoming part of a community though so…perhaps learning how to detach a little like the e5…and face those feelings as they arise may in fact be our best bet. <--and wow, hopefully I’ll learn how to do that prior to age 123.

It's a gigantic problem, IMO. It doesn't support relationships, friendships, or anything really. You are just constantly floating on to the next thing, leaving whatever made you upset (even if it wasn't real) behind. The crazy part is, at least for me, I never even address the problem so the other doesn't even know anything was ever wrong. So they feel left behind. Or I assume they do. I wouldn't know, considering I don't talk to them anymore.


Yup. And *sniff* you do your type proud. You do your type proud. (seriously, this is what makes me proud to be ENFP e7 in spite of the fact you might be ENFP e3.)

Haha...I do my type proud I know... but it comes with... things to work on? I don't know. Maybe this is what I'm getting at. Maybe what I've been doing isn't the "right" thing to do.



Is one of those bracelets an ‘evil eye’ bracelet?

blue-evil-eye-bead-bracelet.jpg

It is, in fact, an evil eye bracelet. Very simple though. Just one eye on a string. Nothing crazy. I like simplicty and minimalism.

I lived in Garden City. And yes, Cairo and the entire Middle East should be thankful that I do the ‘psychological splitting’ thing.

cairo-home.jpg


wg-cairo-28482-400x300.gif


cairo.jpg

I lived in Maadi first with an expat friend in the oil industry, then to Tahrir square, then Zamalek. I liked all three for different reasons. I don't know if I could choose just one.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm INFP, but I frequently have an urge to move, quit jobs, disappear from social circles, etc. I can feel discontent due to things not changing because static/stable = not improving which is unbearable me, and I start lamenting that things will never change (or not significantly enough). I'm trying to cultivate patience & gratitude for what IS, because too much focus on what is NOT tends to be a problem for me in this area.

I tend to not act on it though, being aware of the destructive side of it. Luckily, I am bad with the logistics of many of these, so that prevents me from doing it also. ENFPs tend to be better with spontaneously navigating logistics (Ne+Te I suppose), so they're more likely to act on it.

I've idealized a life where I have a modest home base & am semi-nomadic otherwise. This would require a location independent job. I still keep my eye out for such opportunities & pursue them where I can. So far, not happening.

I find that injecting my life with general variety & novelty & spontaneity helps. Instead of taking up a new location, find newness in other ways.

I think it helps to meditate on those things which are important to you & emotionally fulfilling that require some stability & roots.
I've gotten the urge to quit something I've been working on for the past year or more & whenever I do, I just remind myself how much work I've put into it already, how important it is to me, and that it would be going backwards to give it all up now.

It's good to ponder how change is not always progress, basically.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
I don't know what any of that means.


Well actually…


It's a gigantic problem, IMO. It doesn't support relationships, friendships, or anything really. You are just constantly floating on to the next thing, leaving whatever made you upset (even if it wasn't real) behind. The crazy part is, at least for me, I never even address the problem so the other doesn't even know anything was ever wrong. So they feel left behind. Or I assume they do. I wouldn't know, considering I don't talk to them anymore.

Haha...I do my type proud I know... but it comes with... things to work on? I don't know. Maybe this is what I'm getting at. Maybe what I've been doing isn't the "right" thing to do.

…these sentiments suggest to me that you know what it all means quite well. :wink: [I’m going to respond to that other thing you sent in a minute here.]



It is, in fact, an evil eye bracelet. Very simple though. Just one eye on a string. Nothing crazy. I like simplicty and minimalism.

Umm well…some people…maybe they um …maybe they also like simplicity and minimalism and you know... would truly prefer to make that kind of fashion statement. Maybe they even feel secretly embarrassed sometimes about how gaudy their bracelet is...but for whatever reason… like it’s a personal choice they made for themselves based on past experiences and luck and stuff… they merely felt it would be best if they had more than one eye protecting them from the Evil Eye. (omg haha)


I lived in Maadi first with an expat friend in the oil industry, then to Tahrir square, then Zamalek. I liked all three for different reasons. I don't know if I could choose just one.
Jealous.

It's good to ponder how change is not always progress, basically.

This is so important for Ne dom/aux to remain mindful of…and so difficult as well as our brains are wired in such a way that makes new experiences and change feel like progress even in instances when it’s nothing of the sort. And because I need daily reminding...thanks for that too.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I currently type as xNFP, likely INFP, but essentially, yes. This is the story of my life.

It started when I was really little and would start projects and then never finish them, moving onto the next interesting one as soon as it came up.

When I got old enough (and moneyed enough) to leave the house, I started my life of nomadism. Instead of darting from one project to the next, I started moving from one country to the next. I've lived in numerous places, and I wouldn't be happy unless I were constantly on the move. I do it on a shoe-string, but it's fun anyway.

With me, I'm always eager to go do something new and am ready to move pretty much as soon as it's suggested. Even if it gets in the way of something else I planned, I'll just sort of shift my priorities around. Like, for instance, I've been trying to raise the money to buy a house in my current (dirt cheap) country...and on a flight to Doha a few months ago I saw an advertisement for Sri Lanka.

Me: OOOH, Sri Lanka...MUST GO TO SRI LANKA.

So, here I am taking a break from my work to go live in Sri Lanka for two months, off my own savings. Then my father called me and offered to pay for a visit to him in Cardiff...so I just sort of tacked that onto the trip as well. Not that I don't want to buy the house, just that my priorities instantly realign when I see something better.

Now that I'm 30, I'm starting to see how this is impeding my quality of life--I can't settle down, because the whole world calls me. I can't have a stable job, because something better might come along. I can't save any money, because I've got to spend it exploring the world. Every step I take towards something, I trip over myself, lol.

I am always amazed that others think this is some sort of impressive thing to do, because it's just my natural energy flow. I don't know what advice to offer you [MENTION=8725]Malkavia[/MENTION], because I struggle with this myself. Perhaps you could find a job that involves constant motion and travel? Or, take the job but take lots of vacations? You can always quit, or move in the future.

LOL, not that I'm qualified to be giving this advice, exactly, but those are my thoughts, anyway.
 

Malkavia

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
289
MBTI Type
ENXP
Enneagram
3w4
I'm INFP, but I frequently have an urge to move, quit jobs, disappear from social circles, etc. I can feel discontent due to things not changing because static/stable = not improving which is unbearable me, and I start lamenting that things will never change (or not significantly enough). I'm trying to cultivate patience & gratitude for what IS, because too much focus on what is NOT tends to be a problem for me in this area.

I tend to not act on it though, being aware of the destructive side of it. Luckily, I am bad with the logistics of many of these, so that prevents me from doing it also. ENFPs tend to be better with spontaneously navigating logistics (Ne+Te I suppose), so they're more likely to act on it.

I've idealized a life where I have a modest home base & am semi-nomadic otherwise. This would require a location independent job. I still keep my eye out for such opportunities & pursue them where I can. So far, not happening.

I find that injecting my life with general variety & novelty & spontaneity helps. Instead of taking up a new location, find newness in other ways.

I think it helps to meditate on those things which are important to you & emotionally fulfilling that require some stability & roots.
I've gotten the urge to quit something I've been working on for the past year or more & whenever I do, I just remind myself how much work I've put into it already, how important it is to me, and that it would be going backwards to give it all up now.

It's good to ponder how change is not always progress, basically.

Thanks for the reply OA! It's true, experiencing new things here has been very helpful. It keeps things new and interesting.

I've really been experiencing everything this city has to offer and it's been amazing. Festivals, concerts, Pride, fireworks last night, etc... It definitely creates a "shared experience" between you and the place you're at which can help you feel more rooted.

And yes, my work has culminated into this dream job offer. It will root me, at least for a while, because I worked so hard for it.

Well actually…

…these sentiments suggest to me that you know what it all means quite well. :wink:

Well I mean I don't know how to express these sentiments in an enneagram context you silly goose. :p



Umm well…some people…maybe they um …maybe they also like simplicity and minimalism and you know... would truly prefer to make that kind of fashion statement. Maybe they even feel secretly embarrassed sometimes about how gaudy their bracelet is...but for whatever reason… like it’s a personal choice they made for themselves based on past experiences and luck and stuff… they merely felt it would be best if they had more than one eye protecting them from the Evil Eye. (omg haha)

Just make sure they're blessed. ;)


It was life changing.



I am always amazed that others think this is some sort of impressive thing to do, because it's just my natural energy flow.

This. This right here as well. People always talk about how amazing or impressive it is and this ends up making it akward for me. It is so natural for me. So when I nonchalantly talk about it I come off as pretentious. It's not that at all! It's just how I've my life.
 
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