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  1. #1
    Senior Member VanillaCat's Avatar
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    Default Why do ENFPs need time to be alone?

    I know it's to center themselves and all but, I just don't understand it.

    It's true though. I've hung out with too many people lately in the past 3 weeks so all I did was stay home today and I feel okay now. I can't explain it. But you could tell like, yesterday, that I wasn't being so fun to be around. I was kind of exhausted of being with people, even though I love them very much.

    It's weird because I read that they're the only extroverts that need to do this.

  2. #2
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Because other people suck.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  3. #3
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    I do the same thing. It does seem paradoxical that an extroverted personality type would need alone time in any sort of significant amount, but we really do need it. I can only speak from my own perspective here, but it seems to me that ENFP's need the quiet time because we spend so much time instinctively scanning our environment, and trying to take care of our loved ones. I'm ALWAYS on the look out for the people I care about, to keep them safe and happy, and eventually, I feel like I've been run over. I can't shut off the "scanning" part of my personality, so the best I can do is to sequester myself for a little while and let my head calm down. Almost like meditating. I love being around others, and I also found it curious that I would need time away from them, but I learned to just go get quiet despite finding my behaviour confounding, because it really helps me recharge.

  4. #4
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    Everyone needs time to be alone, it's just that introverts typically need it more than extroverts. Of course the interesting debate would be why ENFPs seem to need more time alone than other extroverted types, on average, of course. It's really the same thing as you are asking, but I think you asked it in a very black and white fashion. I don't know the answer, and I don't even know if it really is true ENFPs actually need more time alone than other extroverted types.

  5. #5
    Senior Member VanillaCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splittet View Post
    Everyone needs time to be alone, it's just that introverts typically need it more than extroverts. Of course the interesting debate would be why ENFPs seem to need more time alone than other extroverted types, on average, of course.
    Yeah, that's what I was trying to ask.

  6. #6
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I don't think ENFPs need more time alone than other extroverted types. I don't know how this perception arose. I guess it showed up on some popular MBTI site and has been copied over and over again.

    If it's actually true (which I guess would be because of Fi), then I would think that ESFPs would need this alone time as well. Any extrovert's auxiliary function is going to be introverted and hence they're going to have to go into themselves to access it.

    I'm curious to know if introverted judging functions need more/less recharge time than introverted perceiving functions because that's what it's basically going to come down to between EPs and EJs.

  7. #7
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Actually when I was younger I did not need to spend any time by myself. In fact I totally hated the time without other people. These days I can spend some time by myself. So, spending time alone is not necessarily THE ENFP thing. Generalizations, generalizations...

  8. #8
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I think we need time alone because we need time to self-reflect.

    When I am with others, I am *with* them, as LadyJaye has so aptly explained. Being in other people's company can be incredibly exhausting for me (us), and I know that I have a tendency to lose myself to them, where they become the center of my attention, shit, where they temporarily become the center of my universe.

    My need for alone time is largely due, in part, for my need/imperative to find, reflect on, and become my true(r) self, independent of the influence or disturbance of anyone else.

    I think I may be a slightly atypical ENFP because ever since age 12, I've found myself needing a somewhat excessive amount of alone time.

    It's a control thing for me. When in the company of others, I feel as though I become a slave to my "caring" "empathetic" instincts, as opposed to when I am in the company of only myself, where I am allowed, without guilt, to explore and tend to things that *I* want and, or need to.

    When in the company of others, I automatically indulge them with all of my attention, and exhibiting such behavior after awhile, becomes...well, utterly exhausting/draining.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #9
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    as an F
    empathy can take a toll
    as an NF
    idealisms being shattered can have the same affect on the empath
    as an extroverted NF
    you would naturally come in contact with it a lot more than an introverted one would

    yahtzee
    I N V I C T U S

  10. #10
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanillaCat View Post
    I know it's to center themselves and all but, I just don't understand it.

    It's true though. I've hung out with too many people lately in the past 3 weeks so all I did was stay home today and I feel okay now. I can't explain it. But you could tell like, yesterday, that I wasn't being so fun to be around. I was kind of exhausted of being with people, even though I love them very much.

    It's weird because I read that they're the only extroverts that need to do this.
    Too true!!! My husband says that if I stay alone too long, I turn to dark thoughts and get all weirded out. But if I hang out with people too much, then I start getting a bit grumpy, tired, stressed...

    I think it is because I give my "all" to everyone. Being a teacher, I work about twelve hours a day, during which I am constantly around people. They tell me all their problems and I have to focus. In addition, I often get bombarded by all these intuitive impulses....At least, that is what I call it. Essentially I am always looking out for my students...constantly making sure that their needs are met. I feel so much. I perceive so much. All those impulses and information and things I intuit. Yes, I need time alone.

    So to "clear" ourselves, I think we need time alone. This weekend, I had one and a half whole days to myself. WHEW that did me a world of good, and the people at work said, "Wow, you look so rested." See, so now I can give again because I was good to myself.

    That is how things should be. Could be way off base, but that`s my feeling.

    What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I do the same thing. It does seem paradoxical that an extroverted personality type would need alone time in any sort of significant amount, but we really do need it. I can only speak from my own perspective here, but it seems to me that ENFP's need the quiet time because we spend so much time instinctively scanning our environment, and trying to take care of our loved ones. I'm ALWAYS on the look out for the people I care about, to keep them safe and happy, and eventually, I feel like I've been run over. I can't shut off the "scanning" part of my personality, so the best I can do is to sequester myself for a little while and let my head calm down. Almost like meditating. I love being around others, and I also found it curious that I would need time away from them, but I learned to just go get quiet despite finding my behaviour confounding, because it really helps me recharge.
    RIGHT!

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I think we need time alone because we need time to self-reflect.

    When I am with others, I am *with* them, as LadyJaye has so aptly explained. Being in other people's company can be incredibly exhausting for me (us), and I know that I have a tendency to lose myself to them, where they become the center of my attention, shit, where they temporarily become the center of my universe.

    My need for alone time is largely due, in part, for my need/imperative to find, reflect on, and become my true(r) self, independent of the influence or disturbance of anyone else.

    I think I may be a slightly atypical ENFP because ever since age 12, I've found myself needing a somewhat excessive amount of alone time.

    It's a control thing for me. When in the company of others, I feel as though I become a slave to my "caring" "empathetic" instincts, as opposed to when I am in the company of only myself, where I am allowed, without guilt, to explore and tend to things that *I* want and, or need to.

    When in the company of others, I automatically indulge them with all of my attention, and exhibiting such behavior after awhile, becomes...well, utterly exhausting/draining.
    I agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    as an F
    empathy can take a toll
    as an NF
    idealisms being shattered can have the same affect on the empath
    as an extroverted NF
    you would naturally come in contact with it a lot more than an introverted one would

    yahtzee
    This is also true.
    Last edited by proteanmix; 07-01-2008 at 08:45 AM. Reason: merged posts
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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