[INFP] INFPs, is that you?

[TopherRed]

*looks at other ENFJs* Just makes ya want to give 'em all a big hug, ya know?

 

[OrangeAppled]

Keirsey, in PUMII, in his paragraphs describing Healers [INFP], says the following:

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

a little further, about mating, conveying the same idea:

"INFPs cling to their dreams, and often find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person.Even at the best of times, they seem fearful of too much marital bliss, afraid that current happiness may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if one experiences too freely of happiness, or, for that matter, of success, or beauty, or wealth, or knowledge."

What do you think about these statements?

Are you tormented by this inner, private, Manichean conflict?

Is the image of the guardian angel popping over one shoulder and the inner-devil over the other appropriate?

After a break-up do you often feel like you deserve to suffer?

I only relate to the parts I bolded.

I never feel I deserve to suffer. Most often, I feel the opposite: I haven't done anything so bad as to deserve suffering. I am not fearful of happiness. I am only afraid I will never be happy. When I am happy, I do not feel an impending sense of doom. Rather, I become even more naively idealistic.

I have an inner conflict, but I would call it one between heart and head, fleshly desire and morals. I don't feel any need for atonement though.

And for the record, I've decided I'm not a Keirsey fan, especially of the way he approaches INFPs.

 

[Polaris]

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

While I'm no stranger to self-loathing, the idea that I'm wicked is something I can't even imagine from my current position. The last time I felt wicked was many years ago when my ethics were rooted in religion. Now that my values come from within, everything I will is by definition ethical. Where "evil" (I don't even like the word) comes in is when something outside of me conflicts with my values. It's true that my values sometimes conflict with each other, too--in fact, they often do--but I experience this as a battle of desires, not some kind of moral warfare.

 

[SciVo]

Like others here, I relate to much of the type description except that I've transcended the simplicity. I've resolved the inwardly-directed perfectionism that had me not liking myself much for so long. I've boxed up and stowed the quaint religiosity that used to determine my morality, now relying on my much more sophisticated humanism.

I do, however, still fear being too happy. My explanation to myself is that when I get too excited, then it impairs my social perception, and that never ends well. But I'm aware enough to admit, that could just be an excuse.

 

[Liminality]

*insert OP*

Totally, utterly, completely.

My dad, an ISTJ (My guess) seems to have the intensely private good vs evil complex. The only hint you see if it is in his stubborness, and inibility to say sorry.

Even getting something as simple as 'whose phone charger that is' wrong is inconcievable (Unbareable deep down), leads to a very selective memory.

I think it came from his mum and dad rejecting the expressive, artistic Fi side to him mixing with some internal TJ process. 'If I can't be, then it's bad and no one else should'.

I get all this from the somewhat vague guesses of an exceedingly empathic mother, he's a tough nut to crack.

 

[runvardh]

*looks at other ENFJs* Just makes ya want to give 'em all a big hug, ya know?

You mean a band-aid for a broken bone? I suppose if it makes you feel better...

 

[Nijntje]

.

I FOUND PART OF YOUR DELETION SPREE.

 

[Gawain]

Keirsey's PUMII was the reason it took me so long to come to terms with being INFP. I hated his description, and have never agreed with much of what he has to say. It was just closer (barely) to who I am than his descriptions of the other types. I've always had a very strong inner sense of morality, and I always try to follow my conscience. So I have never had any reason to feel as if I have done wrong when I haven't. And while I internalize it when I do something wrong (which is rare), I simply use that to spur me toward personal growth.

I also just generally hate his terminology for us. I'm more of a fighter than a healer. Not really into people-pleasing either, which he seems to imply repeatedly.

 

[INFPtheQuietOne]

Every INFP is different, many of the descriptions suck, we're not saints, for gods sake.