[INFP] INFPs, is that you?

[heart]

Keirsey, in PUMII, in his paragraphs describing Healers [INFP], says the following:

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

a little further, about mating, conveying the same idea:

"INFPs cling to their dreams, and often find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. Even at the best of times, they seem fearful of too much marital bliss, afraid that current happiness may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if one experiences too freely of happiness, or, for that matter, of success, or beauty, or wealth, or knowledge."

What do you think about these statements?

Are you tormented by this inner, private, Manichean conflict?

Is the image of the guardian angel popping over one shoulder and the inner-devil over the other appropriate?

After a break-up do you often feel like you deserve to suffer?

I agree with the first paragraph for myself, but not the second. I got married at 21 and I knew that there would be thorns with the roses and bumps along the way. I feel that I deserve to as much happiness as the next person and that any happiness I get from my marriage is reflective of what both me and my husband put into our marriage.

I never felt like I 'deserved' to suffer in break-ups.

Good vs. Evil is a frequent topic between my husband and I, but where he sees evil as something to be cut out, I see evil as something to be reformed and transformed into positive.

 

[ArtlessFuture]

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves."

Out of that whole thing, this is the only sentence I relate to at all.

 

[anii]

taught to believe there is evil in them, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them.

What do you think about these statements?

Are you tormented by this inner, private, Manichean conflict?

Is the image of the guardian angel popping over one shoulder and the inner-devil over the other appropriate?

After a break-up do you often feel like you deserve to suffer?

I used to be troubled by it... but lately I've considered embracing the sacred and the profane, the light and the shadow. It's all within me anyway, not going anywhere, I might as well make these strange bedfellows comfortable.

Who says I can't be an righteous avenging angel and a naughty sex kitten?

 

[scantilyclad]

honestly i'm very attracted to evil things and i usually root for the bad guys, because i can usually see where they are coming from, but i myself see me as pretty pure and good. Sometimes i might do something wrong and i always ask myself if it makes me a bad person, or an evil person. I usually decide that it doesn't, although i will still feel guilty about any wrong doing i have done.

I once lied to break up with someone and i still think of how evil and what a bad person i was for doing it.
I'm not evil, but i always let the bad things stay on my conscience.

 

[quietmusician]

I hate Keirsey's description of INFPs as healers. I just don't feel that way at all.

As far as good and evil, he really exaggerates that. Personally, I am always on the lookout and have an automatic sense of "good" and "evil". If I see the good side, I'll also be very cognisant of the bad side, and vice versa.

I've been atheist for about 25 years now, and have totally gotten away from thinking there is evil within me. So, no, I don't think that way. And I try to be rather intellectual with "good" and "evil". I look at it as "ways that help better the quality of human life" and "ways that help lower the quality of human life". I've become very practical in my midlife. That's the Sensing quality that's gotten developed. But on a basic feeling level, I still get the evil and good thing, and do indeed get attracted to trying to figure out the "evil". Mostly in an attempt to understand it, so that I can "fix" it.


As far as marital bliss. That statement has always confounded me. It's weird. I'm like WTF? Where did he come up with that one? But finding it difficult to reconcile and idealized romantic life with the everyday realities? Yep. Guilty. But aren't we all like that?

I agree completely. INFP's descriptions are somewhat inane and pretty much fairy tale like. I don't know about others, but my life isn't about what they're describing, lol.

 

[Nonsensical]

This isn't ment to be taken literally, it, to me, means that there is a level of vulnerablility in us that can turn us sour..that can easily mix in the bad in the world, and change us. It means that we drift between the good and the bad, and that its hard for us to keep our center. Now for a J, it may be easier to stay strong, but as Ps, it is natural for us to go "astray" sometimes.

 

[Silence11]

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

"INFPs cling to their dreams, and often find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. Even at the best of times, they seem fearful of too much marital bliss, afraid that current happiness may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if one experiences too freely of happiness, or, for that matter, of success, or beauty, or wealth, or knowledge."

There's lots of "good vs evil" in those statements... I don't know if I would put it that way. It seems to me that INFP's are the worst kind of perfectionists. There's the expectation that circumstances should be a certain way, and the reality hardly ever lives up to the dream, thus the depression kicks in and so forth.

I believe that perfectionism extends to INFP's themselves as well... INFP's expect themselves to be perfect and flawless, and they can be very hard on themselves when they fall short of this unattainablely high bar. I think that's why INFP's have such a high rate of depression. It's difficult for them to keep things in perspective. There is no room for fault.

Personally, I don't think I've ever been fearful of too much bliss. I do think I've been guilty of looking at an otherwise good thing with the glass half empty because it didn't meet my lofty expectations. It seems that I've had the uncanny ability to be dissatisfied when I should've been thankful.

 

[anii]

Yes.

I used to expend alot of energy trying to expand my sacred and shed my profane.

Now I just embrace them both.

(Reading "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" helped.)

 

[bronte]

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

I can really relate to this and still stuggle with it - anni - I'm reading this "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" now - it's making m cry!!
__________________

 

[runvardh]

Sometimes I wish I could just be the sin and darkness I've been seen as. Why not? Might as well get blamed for things you do rather than what you don't do...

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Sometimes I wish I could just be the sin and darkness I've been seen as. Why not? Might as well get blamed for things you do rather than what you don't do...

Well you don't have to commit. Try it for a day and see if you like it.

 

[nolla]

What do you think about these statements?

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

In a way I am fascinated by this, as a psychological idea, not like light vs dark kind of thing. The way I have figured it, I can get to the point when there is no "evil" in me. The evil is repressed stuff in the sub-consciousness so by being as spontaneous and open and true as possible I can repress less and so be more "in control" of my sub-consciousness. As the time goes by the spontaneity becomes more "clean" of the bad reactions so the longer I do this the more I will be on the light side.

"INFPs cling to their dreams, and often find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. Even at the best of times, they seem fearful of too much marital bliss, afraid that current happiness may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if one experiences too freely of happiness, or, for that matter, of success, or beauty, or wealth, or knowledge."

No. This is not me. I do feel awkward if the happiness feels unreal or fake, though..

After a break-up do you often feel like you deserve to suffer?

I used to. This all is part of my first answer really... I have my morals pretty damn solid by now and they are usually like a second nature (something that comes reactively with no thinking at all) so I don't often create situations that cause regret later.

 

[Anja]

I spent a lot of time worrying about my potential for both good and evil and what it could possibly mean for my life. It's now pretty well integrated for me.

I still maintain that there is little worse than an INFP gone bad. Spectacular self-destruction on wheels!

 

[nolla]

I still maintain that there is little worse than an INFP gone bad. Spectacular self-destruction on wheels!

 

[speculative]

I still maintain that there is little worse than an INFP gone bad. Spectacular self-destruction on wheels!

/checks for wheels under self...

"Oh snap!"

 

[runvardh]

Well you don't have to commit. Try it for a day and see if you like it.

Been there, done that, doesn't attract the chicks.

 

[jtanSis1]

It's always about the chicks, period. Yeah, living in light might be harder, but at least I can say it's their fault for not wanting the true life of bliss. Besides, being evil requires too much maintenance and I can't focus for that long.

 

[runvardh]

I think evil would be an interesting challenge... Besides, if you can contort it right you can talk yourself into believing it's for the greater good in the end. It would become a crusade worthy of the striving needed.

 

[speculative]

Besides, if you can contort it right you can talk yourself into believing it's for the greater good in the end. It would become a crusade worthy of the striving needed.

= every great super villain. The ones who do it for the money or whatever are boring. Give me a good 'ole "ends justify the twisted means" type villain any day...

 

[neptunesnet]

Keirsey, in PUMII, in his paragraphs describing Healers [INFP], says the following:

"Healers find it difficult to believe in themselves and to trust themselves. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. They are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with sin, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when they believe they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

a little further, about mating, conveying the same idea:

"INFPs cling to their dreams, and often find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. Even at the best of times, they seem fearful of too much marital bliss, afraid that current happiness may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if one experiences too freely of happiness, or, for that matter, of success, or beauty, or wealth, or knowledge."

yesyesyesyes
I love the Keirsey description of the INFP.
When I was first learning about typology, I would take cognitive functions tests to figure out my type and would get both INFJ and INFP; however, when I read this description of the Idealistic Healers, I knew there was nothing else I could possibly be.

I think INFPs can sometimes experience a lot of anxiety.

For example, INFPs want to excel and please the people around them, so they tend to overestimate what they can do and they overcommit themselves. But at the same time they are also procrastinators and can be wildly lazy. So with a cloud of pressing commitments, missed deadlines, and disappointed teachers/bosses/friends hanging over their heads much of the time, they can routinely be feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety.

Good events like a promotion at work or a high score on a test can actually increase the anxiety. Already overcommitted, something like a promotion just means more commitments. It just sets them up for a bigger fall. Same thing with marriage. For INFPs, marriage can be blissful in the abstract and stressful in the flesh. It brings added responsibilities and obligations, and failure isn't an option.

Here's another quote from "Type Talk" by Kroeger & Thuesen that describes this kind of pressure INFPs might find themselves under:

"The potential for self-doubt and self-criticism is always close to the surface. Even when told they have done a “good job,” INFPs know the only true judge is themselves, and may punish themselves for work they consider less than perfect. In general, while INFPs love to learn, grow, excel, and please others, they are always their own worst critics; they often remind themselves that they could have done better. It is a lifelong struggle between self-approbation and self-depreciation. In the end, INFPs almost always tend to sell themselves short."

This is especially true for me.
Obligations weigh me down.
If a teacher I care about and trust, for example, comments on what a wonderful student I am, I stress over remaining a good student. I don't want to disappoint him/her.

This is trickier. INFPs do like to consider themselves as amateur philosophers, psychologists, and even priests. So they do like to play around with debates about good versus evil on a purely intellectual or philosophical basis. And the more you try to parse what constitutes good or evil, the more you tend to explore both concepts and the paradoxes connected with them, and maybe even try to morph them into each other.
On a more personal basis, concerns about good and evil may have a direct influence on stress levels in an anxiety-ridden INFP. To use a very mundane example: Taking a short-cut on a big work project may make the work project more manageable in size but may increase overall anxiety connected with the project at the thought that the shortcut may be discovered later and held against the INFP. By extension, you can imagine how anxious some religious INFPs may get about even very minor issues of good vs. evil (masturbation, whether it's okay to dislike someone or if we have to love everyone at all times, etc.)

Thus the issue of stress and anxiety may perhaps feed into an INFP's personal fascination with good and evil. If good behavior reduces ambient stress and bad behavior increases it, then that becomes a strong incentive for getting caught up in a constant examination of one's own actions and motives and constantly questioning oneself about issues of good vs. evil.

Wow.
*Applause*