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  1. #1
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
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    Default Growing in Introversion

    I feel like I am becoming more introverted of late. I feel edgy and drained after conversations about my feelings, and I crave lots of solitude. Not only do I crave it, I literally need it to preserve calmness and a reasonable sense of stability. I've never been one to talk much in group conversations, but now I find myself becoming increasingly silent in these situations, (especially when my parents are around for some reason.) I have four or five close friends that I talk to on a regular basis, but my desire to talk much to most of them is dropping. Occasionally I almost resent simple questions like "How have you been doing?" "What are you up to?" or "What are you thinking about?" unless they are from someone I really feel like talking to.

    So, NFs, what is the deal with this? Just a phase? Have you ever experienced times when your introversion (if you are an introvert) is more strongly expressed than usual? Do you find it healthier to fight the tendency or to go with the psychological flow? Is this something to be concerned about?

    Some background for perspective: I'm 22, facing some major decisions, and I don't believe the problem (if it is a problem) I'm describing is depression, tho I might not know if it was.

  2. #2
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by helen View Post
    I feel like I am becoming more introverted of late. I feel edgy and drained after conversations about my feelings, and I crave lots of solitude. Not only do I crave it, I literally need it to preserve calmness and a reasonable sense of stability. I've never been one to talk much in group conversations, but now I find myself becoming increasingly silent in these situations, (especially when my parents are around for some reason.) I have four or five close friends that I talk to on a regular basis, but my desire to talk much to most of them is dropping. Occasionally I almost resent simple questions like "How have you been doing?" "What are you up to?" or "What are you thinking about?" unless they are from someone I really feel like talking to.

    So, NFs, what is the deal with this? Just a phase? Have you ever experienced times when your introversion (if you are an introvert) is more strongly expressed than usual? Do you find it healthier to fight the tendency or to go with the psychological flow? Is this something to be concerned about?

    Some background for perspective: I'm 22, facing some major decisions, and I don't believe the problem (if it is a problem) I'm describing is depression, tho I might not know if it was.
    I'm not an NF, but I definitely experience these periods, too. I think part of it is just a natural process of being more introverted at times and more extroverted at times. I notice that I do withdraw more when I'm stressed or depressed, because it feels like I've got so much going on internally that external stimulation it too much to add to the pile.

    I tend to withdraw from my parents when I'm around them because they're more intrusive with their questioning, and I just throw up walls.

    I think it's possible you could be depressed, but it's also possible that you're just dealing with a little more stress than usual, and are dealing with it by retreating inward.
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  3. #3
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    i too have gone the Ti route
    i am the mute, and keep everything bottom-line
    i am coming out of it, though

    i would say it was repressed anger that did you in
    only because your case is so comparable to mine

    i am a 20 INFJ under pressure
    I N V I C T U S

  4. #4
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm not an NF, but I definitely experience these periods, too. I think part of it is just a natural process of being more introverted at times and more extroverted at times. I notice that I do withdraw more when I'm stressed or depressed, because it feels like I've got so much going on internally that external stimulation it too much to add to the pile.

    I tend to withdraw from my parents when I'm around them because they're more intrusive with their questioning, and I just throw up walls.

    I think it's possible you could be depressed, but it's also possible that you're just dealing with a little more stress than usual, and are dealing with it by retreating inward.
    Thanks for the reply, this is helpful. Probably I am just dealing with the stress by retreating inward, as you say. I hope so, because I don't want to stay this introverted for life.

    i too have gone the Ti route
    i am the mute, and keep everything bottom-line
    i am coming out of it, though

    i would say it was repressed anger that did you in
    only because your case is so comparable to mine
    Well, I don't feel like I'm angry, but I guess if it's repressed I wouldn't . It's something to think about. . .

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm not an NF, but I definitely experience these periods, too. I think part of it is just a natural process of being more introverted at times and more extroverted at times. I notice that I do withdraw more when I'm stressed or depressed, because it feels like I've got so much going on internally that external stimulation it too much to add to the pile.

    I tend to withdraw from my parents when I'm around them because they're more intrusive with their questioning, and I just throw up walls.

    I think it's possible you could be depressed, but it's also possible that you're just dealing with a little more stress than usual, and are dealing with it by retreating inward.
    Well said, i think that this happens to every I in general.
    I usually deal with it by either being alone, or by hanging out with a friend that is not intrusive.
    I have found the latter to be more helpful, since it takes your mind of things, if you are alone you cant help but keep obsessing about the issue

  6. #6
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    it could just be stress... you say youre under a lot of pressure and I'm sure that has something to do with it. When I'm stressed, I definitely become quieter.. mainly because I think I'm thinking a lot more than usual, which means I'm naturally going to want to be alone or not say anything to others because it'll disrupt my thoughts.

    i honestly don't think it's anything for you to worry about. best of luck with dealing with the pressures, it'll pass, just give it time.

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    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Go somewhere and be silly
    spark up a conversation
    watch funny movies
    you've got to kick yourself out of it
    inject yourself with the right dynamics
    surround yourself with love
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #8
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I'm a mild E and I have those spells. You're not crazy: it's normal. Just be careful that it is not impeding your lifestyle.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Some good ideas.

    I think another thing is to examine what sort of "fruit" your introversion is bearing. Are things getting worse and worse, the more you follow the reclusiveness, or is the space allowing you the necessary time you need to flower and become stronger? Put it in context of your long-term growth and see what role it plays.

    Sometimes stress means we can deal with less external intrusion, sometimes depression can cause this, and sometimes if we are going through "psychological growth spurts" we need the dead space just like a caterpillar needs to be in wrapped up in the dark and left alone.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    Go somewhere and be silly
    spark up a conversation
    watch funny movies
    you've got to kick yourself out of it
    inject yourself with the right dynamics
    surround yourself with love
    I just don't feel up to this right now, but I see your point, and maybe soon. I'm going to try to spend sometime reading today (short stories, and maybe some non-fiction and part of a novel I've been in the middle of)-- still an introverted activity I guess, but it will shake my thoughts into some different patterns at least.

    Some good ideas.

    I think another thing is to examine what sort of "fruit" your introversion is bearing. Are things getting worse and worse, the more you follow the reclusiveness, or is the space allowing you the necessary time you need to flower and become stronger? Put it in context of your long-term growth and see what role it plays.

    Sometimes stress means we can deal with less external intrusion, sometimes depression can cause this, and sometimes if we are going through "psychological growth spurts" we need the dead space just like a caterpillar needs to be in wrapped up in the dark and left alone.
    These are excellent things to mull over and extremely relevant. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

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