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  1. #1
    Senior Member Porcelain Hearts's Avatar
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    Default Dating your own type.

    Is it wrong to figure most NFs have at one point or another, given our intuitive nature and propensity to inspire each other?

    I often hear about high return but high sacrifice as well. I've had my own experiences, but I'd like to hear others to see if I can relate to their stories. Perhaps share the enneagram type so I can understand where it's coming from.

    I feel as if we reveal so much truth in the human condition through loss and fulfillment for the NF. It's almost inevitable we may create "ideal" situations just to prove our depth with one another ... wow, or maybe it's just my 4 speaking ...

  2. #2
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Closest I came to that was an ENFJ (don't know his enneagram) almost a decade ago. Finding ourselves, sharing ideals & passions, etc. Didn't end well [didn't help that he's a diagnosed sociopath, either, haha].
    Either way.. dating NFs. Never again.

    Feelers just don't do it for me. 0 chemistry. Friend NF's are wonderful. Intimacy beyond that.. with any Feeler, for that matter, exhausts me. Bores me.

    Contrast-- for me, at least-- adds more dimension in terms of self/mutual exploration.. pushing boundaries. Overall, more space for growth. Somehow a closer bond.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  3. #3
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    I am thinking it would be awful.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  4. #4
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    I dated an ENFP once..never again.There were tons of love letters and mushy text messaged exchanged but when it got right down to it there was no substance for lack of a better word. In the end he just got on my nerves. It was too much of a good thing. It was very surface level and superficial in hind sight. We idealized each other that we never really established a real connection. Then we just got bored of each other and because we didn't bond like we should have we quickly grew apart. Dating another NF in theory is nice but I find it difficult to cut through the mush and Really get close to them.The most fulfilling relationships I have ever had have been with NT's. My current bf is an NT.We have a depth to our relationship that I never had with the NF I dated. I feel that NF's enjoy the infatuation stage of a relationship so much that we have a tendency to prolong it. That desire to continue to be in a state of a romantic bliss left unchecked can keep us from forming a lasting connection. (might just be speaking for myself here that's just been my experience).
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  5. #5
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    I met a girl who was exactly like me. I'm talking, EXACTLY like me. Same music. Same stoic attitude. Same hatred for mankind. EXACT SAME TASTE IN MUSIC.

    The experience was more eerie than anything. It kinda felt like... what's the point? There's nothing new to learn. I felt like I was looking at myself from a parallel universe. I was creeped out.

    I can't date that shit. Whenever I lift up a hand, she does too. That kinda thing. Didn't feel like I was speaking to another human, I was just talking to myself in the mirror.

  6. #6
    Senior Member hazelsees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Porcelain Hearts View Post
    Is it wrong to figure most NFs have at one point or another, given our intuitive nature and propensity to inspire each other?

    I often hear about high return but high sacrifice as well. I've had my own experiences, but I'd like to hear others to see if I can relate to their stories. Perhaps share the enneagram type so I can understand where it's coming from.

    I feel as if we reveal so much truth in the human condition through loss and fulfillment for the NF. It's almost inevitable we may create "ideal" situations just to prove our depth with one another ... wow, or maybe it's just my 4 speaking ...
    I'm not even sure what you're saying here....but it sounds so sexy. Or maybe it's just late.

    Anyway...I have a close male friend who is INFJ--he's probably my best friend. To think of him romantically is a little sickening...and weird. Although I love him deeply and dearly.

  7. #7
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
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    I likely could Never do it. I have never met an INFJ I found the least bit romantically attractive. I have never met an NF I have found attractive. I don't think I have ever been attracted to a 'F'eeling type, come to think of it. ... yuck. Friendship - yes. but not dating. no way. also, I find men who are overly demonstrative to be repulsive. Sometimes my husbands Fe annoys me; though years ago when I was more insecure I suppose I liked it. not that INFJ's are particularly demonstrative, but ... that is just unattractive to me in general. Though I do appreciate a well of depth and feeling, and they need to be capable of love.

    I have dated, or been attracted to, a few ISTP's and ESTP's. I once briefly dated an ESFJ guy, pitty dating (I was young and didn't want to be mean) - it didn't last long; very unattractive to me.

    The only guys I have ever actually really, really, really wanted have been INTJ's or ENTP's. Really NT's are what catch my attention, but INTP's don't usually quite do it for me; though they can make great friends. And I have never -ever- found an ENTJ attractive; for some reason total turn off - though, again I have ENTJ friends/family I love.

    So, the conclusion is ~ They have to be NT. and they have to be a dominant N. ... come to think of it ~ I have been head-over-heels in love with 2 INTJs. though I did marry an ENTP, but he persued me quite a bit first.

    I did meet an INTJ who I felt was enough of a mirror of me to be kindred-spirit-soul-mate-sparkly-sorta-material (similar manuerisms, similar facial expressions, same-way-of-talking. same humor. sorta; just some similarities) ... but then he was different enough to be overwhelmingly intriguing and anything but boring. That was attractive.



    Question for other INFJ's, or anyone I guess ~

    How many of you would identify as sapiosexual?
    http://www.unwords.com/unword/sapiosexuality.html

    ^ I am.

    I think this is why I find myself attracted to type 5's; not that other types can't be cerebral. but, you know.
    especially 5w4's. especially sx's.


    But. yeah. I have never found an INFJ I was attracted to.
    Once, I chatted online with a man about my age, same exact typology - INFJ 9w8 sx/sp 974. and ... it was so boring. it petered out. we agreed on everything. so just kinda stopped talking...



    slightly & possibly an over-share
    If I had to pick a "cartoon crush" it would be Steve from Arthur Christmas. I think he is likely an INTJ, no?

    FTW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LutTTa8aKEo


    EDIT: ... I have found an ISFP male attractive before. so I guess I have found a F to date-able. #LiarLiarPantsOnFire ^^
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  8. #8
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justwannabeMe View Post
    I did meet an INTJ who I felt was enough of a mirror of me to be kindred-spirit-soul-mate-sparkly-sorta-material (similar manuerisms, similar facial expressions, same-way-of-talking. same humor. sorta; just some similarities) ... but then he was different enough to be overwhelmingly intriguing and anything but boring. That was attractive.

    Question for other INFJ's, or anyone I guess ~

    How many of you would identify as sapiosexual
    http://www.unwords.com/unword/sapiosexuality.html

    The bold described how I felt when I met my current boyfriend. I just got chills reading that. Anyway I am VERY attracted to intelligence. It's even better when the guy in question is really proficient in something I am horrible at.
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    If I happen to date another ENFJ, it would probably be an e3 (I really seem attracted to Fe with e3) or e8.

  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I might have fucked an INFP, but never got to the point of figuring out his type for sure. WOuld I date an INFP most likely not, fuck them? yeah why not if they're good in bed.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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