[MBTI General] Dating your own type.

[Starry]

Yet every time this point has ever been raised, the ENFPs cause a shitstorm denying that it's true.

You are (I believe) confusing two completely separate 'thingies' my friend.


I don't think you will find a whole lotta resistance from ENFPs if you were to suggest we have a difficult time when it comes to entering into a commitment. This is due to the fact that pre-commitment...*commitment* (to a specific individual or whatever) is still just one of a billion possibilities. We struggle with limiting our options.

The shitstorm comes when you or some other poor soul suggests that...once committed...we are not constant. And that is just not the case (at least for the majority of us). Once we go through what it takes for us to actually close off all other possibilities in order to have that one reality... We are...and will be...quite dedicated.

 

[justwannabeMe]

Lol, probably.

But I do think there's a sort of unfair/inaccurate connotation that goes along with it, as if the ENFP shouldn't be doing it... I do of course understand the concept of leading on and how it can hurt others, but it also carries some inherent assumption that commitment is the desired outcome, and you're not playing the social game "right" if that's not what you're aiming for. For the most part I think ExFPs just enjoy the "stirring", regardless of its implications for commitment, and that's essentially that, so it feels inauthentic to our experience to link it directly to commitment. I think other people tend to see us playing and assume that we operate similar to them, so if we're displaying high-octane interest then we're permanently interested, but of course with ExFPs it's about getting caught up in the stimuli of the moment, and it very well may not last once the stimulation has subsided. Moving to commitment severely limits the possibility pool, and thereby the stimulation sources, so it's not typically a winning scenario for the ENFP to make that shift unless they are very invested. I don't think it's really "commitment phobia" as much as it is commitment seals off a huge host of options and that's generally quite displeasing to an extraverted perceiver.



Not mine - someone's notes from Katherine Fauvre's talk on tritypes. I read it on the enneagraminstitute.com forum.





I figure at the very least sx-last ExFPs are pretty rare.



I feel like coming full circle is probably the high point of conversation for Ns. It feels like scoring.*

*Take that as you will

^^ love this list. thanks for the share

I relate most to 974 (& 874, due to a strong 8-wing). "tripe imaginative and triple creative", huh. well thank you. don't mind if I do.

 

[justwannabeMe]

I’d love to find a developed, self-confident male INFJ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-lfP1FBFk

an example of a well-developed, mature, self-confident INFJ male

 

[Nijntje]

Having dated exclusively xNTx (and one ISTJ) my whole life, i was sceptical about the NF dealie.

But i have to say, the most content and happy and comfortable i have ever been with someone is with my INFP.

He rocks.

 

[LittleV]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-lfP1FBFk

an example of a well-developed, mature, self-confident INFJ male

Oh, thanks for the thought. He sort of reminds me of a psychology professor I’ve seen around.

 

[Zarathustra]

I would like to bone an INTJ female.

I don't think I'd like to dat

​

e one, tho.

 

[Ginkgo]

I would like to bone an INTJ female.

I don't think I'd like to dat

​

e one, tho.

I basically feel the same way about INFPs.

Yeah. It's as simple as that.

 

[Ginkgo]

Having dated exclusively xNTx (and one ISTJ) my whole life, i was sceptical about the NF dealie.

But i have to say, the most content and happy and comfortable i have ever been with someone is with my INFP.

He rocks.

Since I'm an INFP, am I allowed to fap to your avatar?

 

[Betty Blue]

I think i could work with an introverted nf but not another enfp, that would feel like incest somehow, cheating even. That thread re: sexing your clone. (Though i voted yes for the novelty.) *Slinks away*

 

[Nijntje]

Since I'm an INFP, am I allowed to fap to your avatar?

I'd fap to my avatar.

 

[Ginkgo]

I'd fap to my avatar.

INFP theory of INFPs confirmed.

 

[Nijntje]

INFP theory of INFPs confirmed.

That I like avatars I find sexually appealing from time to time?

Or that INFP's are hot?

 

[Ginkgo]

I think i could work with an introverted nf but not another enfp, that would feel like incest somehow, cheating even. That thread re: sexing your clone. (Though i voted yes for the novelty.) *Slinks away*

Idk man. It's like, with another of your kind, you feel a dichotomy of "I'm competing with you"/"you're doing it wrong". With ENFPs, there's a level of similarity but a level of significant allowance, but with INFPs, it's like, "blegh". Maybe the experience of "mutual typing" is more positive for other types because they're not as predisposed to want novelty, but yeah.

ENFPs, in theory, should feel an even more significant turn off to ENFPs if they recognize their similarities, while INFPs would tease and toy with they idea without committing.

 

[Ginkgo]

That I like avatars I find sexually appealing from time to time?

Or that INFP's are hot?

Both.

 

[Avocado]

I am close…

I am dating a 7w6 ENTP.

 

[Epiphany]

Hmm...the idea sounds intriguing, but I don't know what kind of long-term potential the relationship would have. Can't say until I've tried it. I think it would depend on the individual INFP though, their enneatype, particular values and interests. There are certain INFPs in this forum who annoy me, but some I can relate to. If nothing else, I'd like to just have a one-on-one conversation with another INFP, in person, and feel them out - get a sense of our similarities and differences.

 

[Susah]

Errrm... out of the huge number of guys I've 'dated' the first one I'm very much confused as to his type (I'm staggeringly bad at typing people) but I can't think he would have been anything but an INFP, really. That whole thing was horrible. Horrible.

The second guy I actually asked, and he said he was an INFP, but I'm not actually convinced. Again, I'm really bad at typing... actually he probably was an INFP... just a more functional one than I am That didn't work out very well either, but I think we could probably have been good friends.

So actually I've only been with people of my own type, and it's been pretty disastrous! But I wouldn't say that is a general thing. I could definitely imagine a functional relationship between two INFPs it just depends on your particular dynamic. There are types I'm almost sure I could never work with, but as a general thing I definitely think you have to see everyone as individuals when it comes to these things and the generalisations that types are don't really apply that well on an individual level, so to speak.

 

[five sounds]

It's interesting to think about, and some part of me wishes I had done it just for the experience, but I don't think it could work long-term for me. I have always dated guys that balance me in some way. I feel like I need it.

 

[autumnandtherain]

I agree with nicolita. I don't think I could date my own type. I think I'm too much of a feeler to date another Feeler or NF. SFJ might work, but not positive, as I don't know many in real life. NT's are pretty attractive to me though. Most of the ones I've met seem to "get" me and we connect well through Ni, and we balance each other out well as Thinker/Feeler. NTs seem to be able to understand my emotional extremes while still being level-headed. I've found that I don't work well with ExFPs the hard way, though. As friends or in a professional setting it's okay, but not as lovers.

 

[Society]

it's interesting that this thread is placed in the NF section... almost unnecessary at face value (i mean the question is applicable to everyone), but because it was placed like that, you'd look at the statistics & expect more people to say yes:

• Intuitive Feelers (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 73% when paired with each other.
• Some types are more likely to marry a person of their same type; this includes male INFPs, INFJs and INTPs and female ENFJs and INFJs.
  - source

yet most NFs here seem to be saying they wouldn't want to date their own type, and quite a few are saying they wouldn't even consider dating another feeler...

why is that?