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  1. #51
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazelsees View Post
    Oooo...I'd love to hear more about the "bizarre to type" person. Those are so fun.
    He seemed to have at least three personalities. One that was somewhat reasonable, one that was sad, persecuted, and extremely mean, and the other that felt like a free-spirited kid. I never knew who was going to show up next.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #52
    window shopper Typh0n's Avatar
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    I dated an NF girl once(we went out just once). She was cool, but I think neither of us took enough physical initiative(lack of S).

  3. #53
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Porcelain Hearts View Post
    I dated an ENFP for 8 months. Our sense of humour and jest was unrivalled. Together, we felt like the funniest people in the universe. Our Ne union took us to imaginary heights and adventures. We were dry, witty and sweet all at once. I worried going into the relationship the possibility of clashing egos, but it never happened.

    Where we went wrong was unfortunately how much he required validation when he was hurt. Perhaps it stands true that for Feelers, it's never truly water under the bridge. Much further than that, he was entirely too conscious of how much emotional influence I had on him. Mentally and financially unstable; he lacked the commitment to anything long term, having failed himself multiple times before. In the end, he broke up with me because he thought it was the right thing to do.

    On one hand, I believe we were really soulmates. It's been said that soulmates are not the people that you end up with. Your soulmate makes you face yourself and makes you walk in the right direction. He reminds me my own lack of self discipline and living with fleeting interests. Together we would be glorified failures, but apart we are independent leaders.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #54
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    maybe....unless he is an entp :/
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #55
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    this doesn't really seem to hold true for 'more mature' (older or forced by life to get old faster) NTs.

    i usually don't like the subjectivity of the maturity rating system (since most people place it as a hierarchy in relations to their own particular concepts of what makes themselves more mature), but in this instance i mean that generally the more you live the more emotional rollercoasters and processes life throws at you, the less well you can do without acknowledging and engaging your emotional functions, so NTs have an increasing probability of becoming more emotional the more they live.
    agreed I don't actually know very many "mature" NT's irl. So what I was saying was soley based on that. I do know older NT's like 50's that still are not in touch with their emotions(they're guys though, don't know if that matters). I'm also attracted to the male sex...so any of the males I know in general are less in touch with their emotions because of societal and paternal pressures. which is annoying cause a lot guys I know are NT's lol
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
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  6. #56
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    No thank you on this one for me. I've tried dipping my toes in the ENFP pool... terrible results. I mean, it's fun, but god, I can't imagine having a sustained, viable relationship like that. I like for my partner to compliment me and balance me out, especially since I'm so fail at practical things in general. It's just like, super good times until you hit a rough place, and then you realize that two of you have double your strengths and double your weaknesses.

    I thought it may have had to do some with the enneatype of the ENFP - I'm a 6w7 and was close with a 7w6 - but then I have a friend who is an ENFP 9w1, and I can see the same issues occurring even with her being a completely different enneatype. ENFPs are just sort of skittish, and I can't deal with two of that.

    I do love me some ENFP friends though



    On the bright side, I think this is true for all of us! It's just a matter of matching inadequacies and intolerances...



    That reminds me of my favorite FML...
    That's an awesome quote

    I have a question. Can u explain what u mean by skittish? Does this ENFP's get uncomfortable with commitment or something? cause I read that somewhere b4
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  7. #57
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    I'm doing this

    We're similar enough that we're on the same life trajectory, different enough to learn from one another. We believe in the same fundamental, 'axiomatic' things, but the details differ.

    Those I've dated before just plain bewildered me, either during or after (in retrospect) our relationship. I could understand how they thought, but often not why.

  8. #58
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    That's an awesome quote

    I have a question. Can u explain what u mean by skittish? Does this ENFP's get uncomfortable with commitment or something? cause I read that somewhere b4
    Haha thanks

    IRT skittish... I think it's true that a fair amount of ExFPs struggle with commitment, both in relationships and in general. There's this tendency with ENFPs, it seems to me, and probably ESFPs too, to really like "dipping their toes in" or "stirring the waters" a bit, like enjoying stirring up a bit of excitement and new possibilities and potentials - and then not really being into it anymore as soon as it begins to move into solidification. I do think ENFPs with certain enneatypes - 2, 3, 8 - would struggle with it less - whereas self-doubt types - 4, 6, 9 - and very novelty-oriented 7 - would probably struggle with it more. And probably instinct will affect it... I'd think sp ENFPs will probably be more slow to commit; so ENFPs will probably be more likely to dance around commitment; sx ENFPs will probably commit quickly and question that commitment quickly after.

    I don't like relationship type prescriptions, but in terms of balance, I think if one partner is very "skittish" in this way, they're going to need for the other partner to be more willing to encourage and move forward steadily into commitment. I'm not saying two ENFPs couldn't work out, but I think that they'd have to be significantly different enough in certain areas that their combined weaknesses don't become enough to undermine the relationship.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    IRT skittish... I think it's true that a fair amount of ExFPs struggle with commitment, both in relationships and in general. There's this tendency with ENFPs, it seems to me, and probably ESFPs too, to really like "dipping their toes in" or "stirring the waters" a bit, like enjoying stirring up a bit of excitement and new possibilities and potentials - and then not really being into it anymore as soon as it begins to move into solidification.
    Yet every time this point has ever been raised, the ENFPs cause a shitstorm denying that it's true.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights
    I do think ENFPs with certain enneatypes - 2, 3, 8 - would struggle with it less - whereas self-doubt types - 4, 6, 9 - and very novelty-oriented 7 - would probably struggle with it more.
    Is this "self-doubt types" concept your own, or did you read it somewhere?

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights
    And probably instinct will affect it... I'd think sp ENFPs will probably be more slow to commit; so ENFPs will probably be more likely to dance around commitment; sx ENFPs will probably commit quickly and question that commitment quickly after.
    This sounds about right.

    Tangent: I wonder if EFPs have higher rates of being Sx doms...

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights
    I don't like relationship type prescriptions, but in terms of balance, I think if one partner is very "skittish" in this way, they're going to need for the other partner to be more willing to encourage and move forward steadily into commitment. I'm not saying two ENFPs couldn't work out, but I think that they'd have to be significantly different enough in certain areas that their combined weaknesses don't become enough to undermine the relationship.
    I see you're starting to experience the full circle we're about to go thru...

  10. #60
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Yet every time this point has ever been raised, the ENFPs cause a shitstorm denying that it's true.
    Lol, probably.

    But I do think there's a sort of unfair/inaccurate connotation that goes along with it, as if the ENFP shouldn't be doing it... I do of course understand the concept of leading on and how it can hurt others, but it also carries some inherent assumption that commitment is the desired outcome, and you're not playing the social game "right" if that's not what you're aiming for. For the most part I think ExFPs just enjoy the "stirring", regardless of its implications for commitment, and that's essentially that, so it feels inauthentic to our experience to link it directly to commitment. I think other people tend to see us playing and assume that we operate similar to them, so if we're displaying high-octane interest then we're permanently interested, but of course with ExFPs it's about getting caught up in the stimuli of the moment, and it very well may not last once the stimulation has subsided. Moving to commitment severely limits the possibility pool, and thereby the stimulation sources, so it's not typically a winning scenario for the ENFP to make that shift unless they are very invested. I don't think it's really "commitment phobia" as much as it is commitment seals off a huge host of options and that's generally quite displeasing to an extraverted perceiver.

    Is this "self-doubt types" concept your own, or did you read it somewhere?
    Not mine - someone's notes from Katherine Fauvre's talk on tritypes. I read it on the enneagraminstitute.com forum.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kitz
    Katherine's comments in red, some are close but not exact because my notes were sketchy. I hope she doesn't mind

    The 27 Tritypes from Wiki
    Tritype Archetype
    125, 251, 512 The Mentor Triple details (2 is people details)
    126, 261, 612 The Supporter Triple duty, compliant helper
    127, 271, 712 The Teacher Triple people focused, correcting or enjoying
    135, 351, 513 The Technical Expert Triple precise or exacting
    136, 361, 613 The Taskmaster Triple doing, responsible, Industrious
    137, 371, 713 The Systems Builder Triple perfectionistic, developing.
    145, 451, 514 The Researcher Triple analytical
    146, 416, 614 The Philosopher Triple critical of self and others.
    147, 417, 714 The Visionary Triple vision, ideas
    258, 582, 825 The Strategist Triple rejection oriented
    259, 592, 925 The Problem Solver Triple conflict avoiding
    268, 682, 826 The Rescuer Triple protector, people focus active, hero
    269, 692, 926 The Good Samaritan Triple people focus passive, helpers also
    278, 782, 827 The Free Spirit ,Triple manipulating, Libertine
    279, 792, 927 The Peacemaker Triple Upbeat ok-ness
    358, 583, 835 The Solution Master triple strategic
    359, 593, 935 The Thinker Triple hiders of true self, Camouflagers
    368, 683, 836 The Justice Fighter Triple Confronters, Challenger
    369, 639, 936 The Mediator Adapters, triple shape changes to get along
    378, 738, 837 The Mover and Shaker Triple assertive
    379, 739, 937 The Ambassador Triple positive, happy, Goodwill
    458, 548, 845 The Scholar Triple independent thinkers
    459, 549, 945 The Contemplative Triple withdrawn
    468, 648, 846 The Truth Teller Triple reactive, emotional
    469, 649, 946 The Seeker Triple doubting
    478, 748, 847 The Messenger Triple creative and original
    479, 749, 947 The Gentle Spirit Triple imaginative and magical
    Tangent: I wonder if EFPs have higher rates of being Sx doms...
    I figure at the very least sx-last ExFPs are pretty rare.

    I see you're starting to experience the full circle we're about to go thru...
    I feel like coming full circle is probably the high point of conversation for Ns. It feels like scoring.*


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