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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ+INFJ relationship, any thoughts about this?

    i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)

    the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly

    conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation

    but that is just what i believe, lets hear it from the rest of you

  2. #2
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
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    I've never met a male INFJ, or at least if I have, I didn't recognize him as one. So this is speaking hypothetically.
    i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)
    Well, this is probably true. I almost never get bored and it always surprises me when people mention being bored, because it's something I just can't empathize with.

    the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly
    Does being an INFJ necessarily mean that you are trustworthy? But I do think a sense of understanding and being understood by the other would likely arise very soon, and that this would hasten the process of the two becoming comfortable with eachother.
    conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation
    Perhaps they'd be tricky at first, but I bet that they could become awesome rather quickly. So much similarity of outlook, and ability to grasp the other's feelings and point of view.

    Still I'm not so sure. All of this sounds like it could make for a very fulfilling friendship, but I wonder if romance would actually happen. Would each person feel that the other actually needed them in any real way, or that they completed eachother? What about that sense of fascination that comes from innate differences? My perspective on relationships is that a person is basically looking for their missing half, not their double.

    But hey, it all depends on what the people involved find fulfilling and attractive. I'm sure marriages between people of the same type are carried on successfully all the time. There are many other factors that influence two people coming together besides MBTI. Similar life goals, and religious and philosophical beliefs are doubtless much more important.

  3. #3
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)
    I can't imagine boredom would be an issue. I think whoever said that doesn't understand the type. I think it would be a very interesting dynamic based on the inner complexities and insight of the type.

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly

    conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation

    but that is just what i believe, lets hear it from the rest of you
    I'm guessing the relationship would result in plenty of non-verbal communication. The main pitfall may come from making assumptions (depending on the INFJ) about the other person because the type is used to intuitively reading others. It might be good to make some effort to take each other at their word and to practice verbalizing needs. When too many assumptions based on subtle cues come into play, things can get hyper-sensitized and communication can warp into misread signals. I think the pairing could run very deep and be wonderful for you depending on the specific people involved.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  4. #4
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I think I'm too bossy to be in a relationship with another J.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #5
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Cafe-are you sure about the traps of a J-J relation ship ?

    i think that as long as both parties understand which role they play and when to switch from leader to other, then its fine

    perhaps the inability to do this is the monkeywrench in most relationships
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #6
    Sniffles
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    Hey if any of the hot INFJ babes here want to test this theory out, don't hesitate to PM me.

  7. #7
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)
    hmm. i probably get bored more than anyone else i know (shadow Se). i'm definitely not bored around interesting people, though, so i would think it wouldn't be an issue for me, at least in terms of the hypothetical relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I'm guessing the relationship would result in plenty of non-verbal communication. The main pitfall may come from making assumptions (depending on the INFJ) about the other person because the type is used to intuitively reading others. It might be good to make some effort to take each other at their word and to practice verbalizing needs. When too many assumptions based on subtle cues come into play, things can get hyper-sensitized and communication can warp into misread signals. I think the pairing could run very deep and be wonderful for you depending on the specific people involved.
    very very good point.

    i could totally see myself with a fellow INFJ. i'm also not that typical for an INFJ (a lot of the judging i do is Ti, so i'm not as closure oriented as most), so i still think there would be complementary traits in the relationship.

    i'd rather have an INTJ though.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    Cafe-are you sure about the traps of a J-J relation ship ?

    i think that as long as both parties understand which role they play and when to switch from leader to other, then its fine

    perhaps the inability to do this is the monkeywrench in most relationships
    I'm not sure about the traps of a J-J relationship. I'm extrapolating that by the way I tend to react to any male using a directive communication style with me unless (and sometimes even if) he's my boss. Let's just say I don't tolerate it well.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #9
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I'm not sure about the traps of a J-J relationship. I'm extrapolating that by the way I tend to react to any male using a directive communication style with me unless (and sometimes even if) he's my boss. Let's just say I don't tolerate it well.
    [ switches communication style ]
    well,
    since you are an INFJ, in this thread ,
    it would be a good idea to communicate how you like to be communicated to

    and why male ?
    I N V I C T U S

  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    [ switches communication style ]
    well,
    since you are an INFJ, in this thread ,
    it would be a good idea to communicate how you like to be communicated to

    and why male ?
    I believe the dichotomy as related to perceiving/judging is called an informative communication style.

    I do not know why I react to a directive communication style in males the way I do. Maybe it has to do with being more of a dom than a sub. Maybe it has to do with being spoiled beyond reason by the closest thing I had to a father figure growing up. Who knows? It's just a pattern I've observed.

    Js, like myself, tend to have more of a directive style, so make of it what you will. It's not a value judgment about J men or a blanket statement about INFJ + INFJ relationships. It's just my own preference. My husband, a perceiver, doesn't seem to mind my directive style and I do try to be considerate and keep it to a minimum, so it works. And his informative style works very nicely with me.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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