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  1. #11
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Use it before you lose it. Either way you are helping.
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  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazelsees View Post
    My ENFP "boss" is concerned with the ethical part of it all...and I can see his point. I don't think he's completely against sending the stuff to other centers that aren't related to this disaster, but it obviously has crossed his mind that it might not be completely "right".
    I never even thought of it being unethical--helping people in need regardless of the situation or disaster---the greater good is all that came to me.
    Well, Fi is very individual-oriented. He might be thinking about how it would feel for an individual who thought they were donating to one cause, and then having their money/resources redirected to a cause they don't support. For example, what if an atheist's donated food ended up going to a church supper that only Christians attended? It would sort of be a misuse of the atheist's money, somewhat disrespectful to their intentions. It could also be bad news in a PR light if it were discovered that the resources are going somewhere other than where they are supposed to go. But it's relatively safe to assume people would rather feed someone than no one.

    And why can't they love us (INFJs...or me) as much as I love them.
    I have seen it happen both ways... ENFPs who love INFJs who don't love them... and INFJs who love ENFPs who don't love them. I love the INFJs I know.

  3. #13
    Senior Member hazelsees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Well, Fi is very individual-oriented. He might be thinking about how it would feel for an individual who thought they were donating to one cause, and then having their money/resources redirected to a cause they don't support. For example, what if an atheist's donated food ended up going to a church supper that only Christians attended? It would sort of be a misuse of the atheist's money, somewhat disrespectful to their intentions. It could also be bad news in a PR light if it were discovered that the resources are going somewhere other than where they are supposed to go. But it's relatively safe to assume people would rather feed someone than no one.



    I have seen it happen both ways... ENFPs who love INFJs who don't love them... and INFJs who love ENFPs who don't love them. I love the INFJs I know.
    The bolded above are the things he was concerned with.

    I'm not sure about the ENFPs who love INFJs--haven't seen it, although they appear to like us just fine. The people I've been immediately attracted to...had instant chemistry for end up being ENFPs. Looking back, even in childhood before I knew anything about "typology"...the other children I was drawn to were probably ENFPs. INFJs can be easily overlooked, I think. We're not so flamboyant. Or maybe that's just me and the other two INFJs that I know. I have to make myself seen and initiate the relationship, which is usually a good relationship. It's just so hard to see how a person is special to the ENFPs that I know. I've even asked that, but the answers weren't really good answers. It's just frustrating sometimes because I want close friendships with very few people and ones I want them with, do not appear to feel the same about me as I feel about them.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazelsees View Post
    The bolded above are the things he was concerned with.

    I'm not sure about the ENFPs who love INFJs--haven't seen it, although they appear to like us just fine. The people I've been immediately attracted to...had instant chemistry for end up being ENFPs. Looking back, even in childhood before I knew anything about "typology"...the other children I was drawn to were probably ENFPs. INFJs can be easily overlooked, I think. We're not so flamboyant. Or maybe that's just me and the other two INFJs that I know. I have to make myself seen and initiate the relationship, which is usually a good relationship. It's just so hard to see how a person is special to the ENFPs that I know. I've even asked that, but the answers weren't really good answers. It's just frustrating sometimes because I want close friendships with very few people and ones I want them with, do not appear to feel the same about me as I feel about them.
    Oh, yeah. This is a topic that comes up with fair frequency on the boards, actually. ENFPs tend to sprinkle their attention to everyone, and many of us actually draw back a little (or a lot!) when we really like someone. If you're going by how much attention they're sprinkling, it might not be a very accurate measure. Better would be to look at whether they treat you differently than others. Also, a lot of times, people respond to us in the same manner, so responding in an unusual manner (paying more attention to the fragile ENFP person that lies beneath than to the "show" that we are putting on). INFJs are usually pretty perceptive about this, though, which is why I'm surprised that you haven't seen more of a response from ENFPs.

  5. #15
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    I agree with skylights. I don't the OP has much to do with cognitive functions.

    Good luck with getting all this sorted. I hope your group comes up with the best possible solution!

    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  6. #16
    Senior Member hazelsees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Oh, yeah. This is a topic that comes up with fair frequency on the boards, actually. ENFPs tend to sprinkle their attention to everyone, and many of us actually draw back a little (or a lot!) when we really like someone. If you're going by how much attention they're sprinkling, it might not be a very accurate measure. Better would be to look at whether they treat you differently than others. Also, a lot of times, people respond to us in the same manner, so responding in an unusual manner (paying more attention to the fragile ENFP person that lies beneath than to the "show" that we are putting on). INFJs are usually pretty perceptive about this, though, which is why I'm surprised that you haven't seen more of a response from ENFPs.
    Why do ENFPs draw back a little (or a lot)? This has probably been answered on another thread or two.

    and...I feel like my ENFP "friends" treat me differently. Then I think, well maybe it's just my wishful thinking...and why it matters, I don't know. Why should I care?
    I'm certainly not a stalker or hang outside their doors waiting for attention. That's way too embarrassing, but I do make myself very available to them. And when it looks like no one is taking care of them (they tend to take care of everyone else on at least a surface level), I'll ask the "how are you feeling? How did that make you feel? Are you sure you're doing alright?" questions that they're usually asking everyone else.
    What I'm saying is I feel a connection, but don't trust my gut feelings/intuition when it comes to me and my relationships. Some of it is growing up INFJ (or growing up just as me). You're told gut feelings and intuitions aren't worth much and people don't listen to or trust them. Rambling...not sure that makes sense, but I've gotta get back to work.

  7. #17
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazelsees View Post
    Why do ENFPs draw back a little (or a lot)? This has probably been answered on another thread or two.
    Yeah. I have to get going soon too, but I'll give you the quick answer - in short, it's essentially because as Ps, we don't really tend to have an agenda. ENFPs sort of bestow the same carefree happiness/lightness/warmth on pretty much everyone, because that's just who we are and it makes us happy, and we're not really worried about how other people are seeing us. But when we like someone, suddenly we do have an agenda of attracting that person, so we become hyperconscious of our behavior towards them, and concerned about whether we're being too obvious, giving too much away, not doing enough, etc. Suddenly it becomes a serious situation, so we back into our analytical minds to strategize.

    And when it looks like no one is taking care of them (they tend to take care of everyone else on at least a surface level), I'll ask the "how are you feeling? How did that make you feel? Are you sure you're doing alright?" questions that they're usually asking everyone else.
    That will almost certainly not go unnoticed.

    Take a chance, make a move. Even if you're wrong, an FP will usually try to let you down gently.

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