User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 36

  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTx
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    237

    Default

    @Southern Kross: That has to be the most fascinatingly descriptive bit on this subject I've ever read. Where did you find that? I'd like to read more on the other functions (and Fi as a dominant/auxiliary) so I can understand it all better!

    I'm going to have to read those to Sarah later and see what she thinks. Thank you very much for that - it's really enlightening!
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  2. #22
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,878

    Default

    I'm not sure the best way to broach the subject.. Definitely not before a wedding, but maybe an engagement and a commitment to marry her daughter may persuade the mother to see you in a different light. Probably not, though.

    In either case, Sarah needs to decide what kind of relationship she wants to have with her mother. If it were me, I'd drop the bombshell and have it done with and let the pieces land where they may. But having a good relationship with your in-laws makes marriage a LOT smoother.

    I'd strongly recommend some marriage counseling for the two of you. I know that seems like BS that rich people do... or whatever... but it really does help work out kinks like this--techniques and boundaries that are clearly in place long before the wedding make the first year so much smoother.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  3. #23
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,781

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    I honestly don't know how to reply to such irrationality... Besides perhaps stating that I don't know how and move on...

    (Note: this was in response to @prplchknz - not @Southern Kross who posted right after her)
    maybe if you admitted you were wrong you'd be happier. Also it's not irrational what I'm saying, you just can't admit you made a mistake. sad sad sad
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #24
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    Southern Kross: That has to be the most fascinatingly descriptive bit on this subject I've ever read. Where did you find that? I'd like to read more on the other functions (and Fi as a dominant/auxiliary) so I can understand it all better!

    I'm going to have to read those to Sarah later and see what she thinks. Thank you very much for that - it's really enlightening!


    Here's the link:

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...MBTI-Functions
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  5. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTx
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    237

    Default

    @kyuuei

    Actually, we have talked about that - we will be doing marriage counseling. My parents are an NT/SJ mix and her parents were... something. Knowing this has let us pay attention to a lot of things that we would otherwise be unaware of. We've also had to, in the past, work through a lot. We both know we're in better shape than most, but we are planning to do pre-marriage-counseling anyway to make sure we bring up the things we're still unaware of.

    As far as in-laws go... My whole family loves [Sarah]. On her side, she has her mother. On the one hand, it's easy to say that, at the worst, it's just her mother... but, then again, it's her mother... So that makes things difficult.

    Thank you for your advice!
    Last edited by Ivy; 05-19-2013 at 09:37 PM. Reason: edited to anonymize
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTx
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    237

    Default

    @Southern Kross

    Oh my... That's long! Look like I need to allocate a block of time to read this later tonight! Thank you very much!
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  7. #27
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,878

    Default

    Sounds like ya'll are on the right track. Luck with it all!
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  8. #28
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    I think you said that your girlfriend Sarah does not want to marry until discussing it with her mother? If that is the case, then it will be important to include that step, so that Sarah never feels as though he choices were in any way bypassed in the process. You also need to establish what the dynamic is going to be like between Sarah and Jane in regards to your relationship. If Jane is going to completely control Sarah in the long run, then you need to be aware of that and choose how to respond to it. It does sound like you will need to plan to live a safe geographic distance from Jane. Realize though, that in marriage there may come a day when you are responsible for Jane when she is old and in need of living assistance.

    It is important to have clear communication with Sarah about this. There are some pragmatic things that Sarah can do to alleviate guilt when Jane responds negatively. I'll have to think more and come back later with this. Oh, and I should mention that all of Jane's fears about how others are going to treat Sarah are clear projections about how *she* treats Sarah. That would be worth pointing out to Sarah.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTx
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    237

    Default

    Thank you very much!

    In the beginning, we both said 'not until our parents know'. Since then, however, she has backed off because she doesn't want to talk to her mother. But she doesn't not want to talk to her mother. She's afraid of her mother's reaction... and I don't blame her, but she's going to have to know.

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I'll have to think more and come back later with this.
    I will definitely be looking forward to this!
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  10. #30
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Agreed. That's completely foreign behaviour to me too.

    She doesn't sound like a P at all for starters. I can't see a P having that much desire to affect and impress herself on others, nor are we anywhere near that assertive in general. As for Fi, that's the tertiary or inferior kind, not the dom/aux usage:



    Sounds like an unhealthy TJ e1 (as @The Great One said).
    Thank you very much...Southern Kross.

Similar Threads

  1. ISFJ/INFP mother/daughter relationships
    By jane4 in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-24-2016, 11:03 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs why do I want 2b ur BFF but don't want to date you? (ENFP ponders the paradox.)
    By Esoteric Wench in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 05-26-2010, 07:09 AM
  3. [INFP] Male INFPs with mother issues
    By Cranky in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 93
    Last Post: 12-24-2009, 07:05 PM
  4. [MBTItm] ESTP/INFJ, mothers and daughters
    By comicsgurl in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-24-2008, 01:39 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO