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  1. #11
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    That someone would post something like this in such a serious topic thread is incredibly juvenile.


    Moving on, @cafe seems to have provided the best way to immediately proceed, both in this conversation and in action. That said, if/when you confront her mother, I would definitely recommend that you make every effort to demonstrate that your girlfriend has come to any decisions on her own and without any coercion from you.
    It's true though. She is exhibiting all the behaviors of an unhealthy 1.

  2. #12
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    Ok... I know two NFPs (the mother and another of my friends), and they're awfully similar in a lot of ways (however, I don't think my friend would be quite like this...).

    On the one hand, it's nice to know it isn't a personality type issue - speaks very well for the rest of you!

    On the other hand... this sucks.

    Thanks for your help though!
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    could be an ESTJ stuck in an INFP shadow, just a thought.
    Hm. That could explain some of her characteristics that seem strange for an NFP. She majored in - and later taught for a while - mathematics. I don't get the same vibe from her that I do from other STJs I know - then again, they're all male..... But, thinking about it, that really rude lady in one of my meetings at work was an STJ, and I can see some similarities.
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    Hm. That could explain some of her characteristics that seem strange for an NFP. She majored in - and later taught for a while - mathematics. I don't get the same vibe from her that I do from other STJs I know - then again, they're all male..... But, thinking about it, that really rude lady in one of my meetings at work was an STJ, and I can see some similarities.
    oh so INFPs have to be crap at math? and can't enjoy it. I enjoy algebra.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #15
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    No: but are you interested enough to major in it and teach it? I may be wrong, but it just seems out of character. My comment had nothing to do with ability - just interest.
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    No: but are you interested enough to major in it and teach it? I may be wrong, but it just seems out of character.
    not at all. I'm just saying that you shouldn't stereotype. types don't come from what one has a passion for but rather how they process that passion. this probably doesn't make sense. but it should, so we're going with it makes sense.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #17
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    This is off topic, but I'm going to reply once more.

    I'm not saying that NFs can't have a passion in mathematics. I'm saying that, in my experience, in general, the way you pick your passions often leads you to something other than mathematics in the exact same way that what I look for in my passions leads me away from things like singing and painting. That is NOT to say that I can't, for some reason, do it, enjoy it, be good at it, and teach it - just that it's far less likely you'll find somebody like me doing that than it is to find somebody like me working on computers/electronics.

    If you want to avoid stereotyping, then MBTI is not for you. That's what this tool does. We, however, realize that it is a broad categorization and that people are different but, for some strange reason, tend to be fairly accurately described holistically in MBTI. What I was doing was the exact same thing.
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  8. #18
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    This is off topic, but I'm going to reply once more.

    I'm not saying that NFs can't have a passion in mathematics. I'm saying that, in my experience, in general, the way you pick your passions often leads you to something other than mathematics in the exact same way that what I look for in my passions leads me away from things like singing and painting. That is NOT to say that I can't, for some reason, do it, enjoy it, be good at it, and teach it - just that it's far less likely you'll find somebody like me doing that than it is to find somebody like me working on computers/electronics.

    If you want to avoid stereotyping, then MBTI is not for you. That's what this tool does. We, however, realize that it is a broad categorization and that people are different but, for some strange reason, tend to be fairly accurately described holistically in MBTI. What I was doing was the exact same thing.
    forget it, i have nothing nice to say to the likes of you.and you're just covering your ass at this point, because someone called you out on it.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #19
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    To be honest I don't identify with any of Jane's actions in your post, they are so extreme. It's a foreign mindset to me. Which is why it seems like you might be demonizing Jane a bit in your language about her. Either you are not giving an objective account of the details or Jane is mentally ill, and if that's the case then talking to other INFP mothers is not going to be much help.
    Agreed. That's completely foreign behaviour to me too.

    She doesn't sound like a P at all for starters. I can't see a P having that much desire to affect and impress herself on others, nor are we anywhere near that assertive in general. As for Fi, that's the tertiary or inferior kind, not the dom/aux usage:

    Quote Originally Posted by Lenore Thomson
    As a Tertiary Function, Fi typically leads ITJs to retreat into solitary actions that have no constructive worldly effect but are aimed at providing a justification for calling themselves good people. Another example is obsession with the purity of one's soul. For example, being a vegetarian while working at Taco Bell--not out of any great love for animals (the person might hardly know anything about what cows are like), but to be able to say, "Well, at least I never ate any animals." Or engaging in pointless acts of honor, like maintaining super-self-control or "doing one's duty" or going down with the ship. Nothing is gained by going down with the ship; it's a hyper-introverted act aimed at providing a rationalization for one's goodness without regard to real-world consequences. Nearly all of these tertiary-Fi acts involve refraining from action viewed as unethical rather than taking positive action that would accomplish something. They're a retreat from the world--or rather, a rationalization for disregarding worldly matters.

    As an Inferior Function, Fi typically leads ETJs to acts of self-destructive hedonism, creation of opera-like drama in their lives and the lives of those around them, obsession with "integrity" (like going down with the ship), instant and irresponsible abandonment of anything they don't like (the opposite of going down with the ship), and bizarre solitary acts of atonement for the harms they've done to others. Sometimes inferior-Fi leads ETJs to preach and even practice a sort of hyper-selfishness, e.g. Ayn Rand and the Landmark Forum. "I'm doing fine, so why should I give a damn about you?" (Very different from highly developed Fi, which leads you to see all people as connected and the highest joy of life as the experience of that connection.)

    Tertiary and inferior Fi also sometimes lead TJs to view large numbers of people as "troglodytes": soulless or stupid creatures whose rotten situations in life derive only from their own intrinsic rottenness-of-soul. To take a comic example, Lex Luthor's lamentation in Superman, "Why is the world's greatest criminal genius surrounded by nincompoops?"

    Perhaps the most typical manifestation of tertiary and inferior Fi is an attitude of psychologizing other people: a sort of pseudo-empathy in which one explains other people's behavior in terms of pitiful needs and psychological flaws that anyone would be ashamed to have. "Notice the defensiveness. He clings desperately to his ideas. Such weakness." (Nearly all psychological theories offer plenty of ammo for psychologizing, including Lenore Thomson's ideas.) Where developed Fi leads you to find something in your own soul in terms of which to truly understand someone else and see things their way, tertiary and inferior Fi typically lead you to find something in your own soul that you despise, in terms of which you can "explain" them and justify putting them down.
    Sounds like an unhealthy TJ e1 (as @The Great One said).
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    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  10. #20
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    I honestly don't know how to reply to such irrationality... Besides perhaps stating that I don't know how and move on...

    (Note: this was in response to @prplchknz - not @Southern Kross who posted right after her)
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

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