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Thread: INFP vs INFJ

  1. #71
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    as an INFP I don't cry over every little thing, in fact i'm selfish it takes a lot for me to get upset over someone else's plight. I don't show my emotions, my insides and outsides are incongruent. I am sensitive i will give you that, but I don't cry because some child in africa got raped by a lion. I only no the answer to quuestion 12 on tests. I am rational, even though i'm silly and emotional at the same time. I'll get emotional than confused because i shouldn't be emotional. but I am. I don't stop and sniff the flowers, infact i probably won't notice the flowers cuz i'm too much in my head.

    sorry I don't know whats going on in this thread so i thought i'd just share this
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    That is a description of evil, hate, and door slamming to you?

    Edit: or are you assuming the description has zero credibility because it comes from an infj? I can think of quite a few different ways to interpret that, but the majority are hurtful. Whether I misunderstand or you are hurtful... Why?
    no, not trying to be hurtful nor do i consider it discredited because its' from you, it simply doesn't provide a point of contrast:
    a case where you are kind and fair doesn't mean there aren't cases where you aren't, or vise versa. you are a person, not a shallow black & white sheet of paper. evidence that someone is on the light or dark side might work for a D&D character or a SW jedi, but presumably you exist in... you know... real life.

    not putting you in the same category, but to illustrate the point by taking it to the extreme - you've mentioned this guy:
    are capable of levels of hatred only Hiltler could exemplify
    even he - most likely - at some point in his life helped and old lady across the street. also i've being told he was quite a gracious host, a rather pleasant fellow. the fact is - he was beloved by millions. yet none of those would provide any contrast against the events of the holocaust and WW2.

  3. #73
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    no, not trying to be hurtful nor do i consider it discredited because its' from you, it simply doesn't provide a point of contrast:
    a case where you are kind and fair doesn't mean there aren't cases where you aren't, or vise versa. you are a person, not a shallow black & white sheet of paper. evidence that someone is on the light or dark side might work for a D&D character or a SW jedi, but presumably you exist in... you know... real life.

    not putting you in the same category, but to illustrate the point by taking it to the extreme - you've mentioned this guy:

    even he - most likely - at some point in his life helped and old lady across the street. also i've being told he was quite a gracious host, a rather pleasant fellow. the fact is - he was beloved by millions. yet none of those would provide any contrast against the events of the holocaust and WW2.
    I moved my original response to this over to your Hitler thread.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  4. #74
    Junior Member Castameare's Avatar
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    Well what actual helped me to really dicern between the two types and their actual everyday behaviours are their different Temperaments and Interaction Styles.
    INFJ: Melancholy/Phlegmatic in Inclusion / Chart The Course
    INFP: Phlegmatic or Supine in Inclusion /Behind the Scenes

    more information

    INFJ are more prone to gather Information via Ni, mainly they set up whats important for themselves and what needs to be done and check this up with the outside data later in a more deliberate information style, they want to have a goal and a course of action to follow, they find a 'contained tension' actual helpful work on what they see to be the end product, emphasis on foreseeing what needs to be done to achieve a certain goal - often within a certain time line

    INFP are working with the process, they want to achieve the best result by integrating and seeking out more outside input, emphasis doesn't necessarily lie in getting something done within a certain time line, they usually have more patience in finishing their project


    well some things actually might overlap, just get the gist and see the general patterns how these two types might approach things.

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Yes people are layered, but there are some who are genuinely good or cruel. There are habitual trends and intentions that help to define us.
    ^straight to the point, so i'll put the cards on the table:

    first of all - i can personally vouch that you were quite kind towards me, and have given me some of the best & most thoughtful advice regarding my son that anyone has. which is why i feel rather bad for the potential hurtful consequences this might have - not necessarily in the long run but there's a good chance - which is why i would have rather done it in PMs (edit: actually feeling sort of crappy about it), but given that you've provided yourself here as an example...

    i also know that when you brought up the topic of frustration in a discussion, and i told you that something you did after was in fact frustrating and explained why, you reacted by calling me delusional, and (perhaps seen it as a contrast point?) proudly declared that the people who know you think you are the kindest person in the world.
    now overall, there's no question that the first balances out the later - over shadowing it completely a billion times over, the later is so incredibly mediocre as far as offenses go, frustration in an online discussion is something that people cause each other all the time - i wouldn't be surprised if i am doing it to you at this very moment (it's not my intention but it is a possibility) - people make each other frustrated on the road and on the street on a rather consistent basis. it's incredibly... mundane, casual, barely worthy of bringing it up in the first place - i wouldn't have in that discussion if you wouldn't have pointed me towards it in the context there. i would wager that by most ethical systems killing a fly is probably worst.

    undoubtedly, going by nothing but those two interaction, i would certainly say you've being rather kind to me. for god's sake - aren't you a social worker or something similar? i got the general impression that your job (or past job?) consists of helping people, probably for for shitty pay. chances are, you have been quite giving and helpful many times in your life. overall i have a positive opinion about you, for whatever that might be worth. chances are - and admittedly i have very little to base that on - you are generally a good person.

    but, while there are many things i am not particularly an expert about - the inner working of hummingbirds for instance - i am the outmost expert regarding my own experience, of... anything. i in fact know when something frustrates me because - and yes a T is about to use the F word - i feel frustrated by it. it's also not something i hold much weight on or consider a big deal. but it's absolutely irrational to think someone is delusional in reaction to their own experience - it's a real event in a real skull which belongs to a real human. so the question remains, why would you feel the need to declare me delusional in reaction to my description of my own experience?

    my theory is that it's the same thing you've done here: just like you see a case where you are fair as a contrast to the possibility there are cases you aren't, so did you see the case where you did something you would consider unkind as a contrast to all the times you were. if the nature of my experience at a given moment provides a contrast point, i am taking away your entire ideal away from you, so telling yourself i was delusional regarding my experience was your way of coping with it. in essence, you think in absolutes, so you need to believe the things about you in terms of absolutes. it's not "i am mostly a kind person", it's not "i try my best", it's "the people who know me think i am the kindest person they've known". there's no leeway, no room for errors, so any hint of an error must be wrong. this is useful for painting a rather beautiful picture, a clear cut character which wouldn't be wrong in a piece of fiction, but it gives no room for genuine accountability. it's this very sort of thinking it's direct consequences that provide the common pattern for most of the negative feedback regarding INFJs - it explains most if not all of of the behaviors.

    take these 3 traits:
    1. determining value by the value to others.
    2. judging conclusively within absolute terms.
    3. being able to reject facts that don't feel right.

    introduce low self esteem into the mix - the lack of seen inherent value in yourself - and you end up with the perfect recipe for needing to paint one's self with absolute ideals regarding one's self of one's own value to others, both the ability and the need to discredit and/or discard anything that might imply otherwise... and you have the negative stereotype of INFJ emerging from it.

  6. #76
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    ^straight to the point, so i'll put the cards on the table:

    first of all - i can personally vouch that you were quite kind towards me, and have given me some of the best & most thoughtful advice regarding my son that anyone has. which is why i feel rather bad for the potential hurtful consequences this might have - not necessarily in the long run but there's a good chance - which is why i would have rather done it in PMs (edit: actually feeling sort of crappy about it), but given that you've provided yourself here as an example...

    i also know that when you brought up the topic of frustration in a discussion, and i told you that something you did after was in fact frustrating and explained why, you reacted by calling me delusional, and (perhaps seen it as a contrast point?) proudly declared that the people who know you think you are the kindest person in the world.
    now overall, there's no question that the first balances out the later - over shadowing it completely a billion times over, the later is so incredibly mediocre as far as offenses go, frustration in an online discussion is something that people cause each other all the time - i wouldn't be surprised if i am doing it to you at this very moment (it's not my intention but it is a possibility) - people make each other frustrated on the road and on the street on a rather consistent basis. it's incredibly... mundane, casual, barely worthy of bringing it up in the first place - i wouldn't have in that discussion if you wouldn't have pointed me towards it in the context there. i would wager that by most ethical systems killing a fly is probably worst.

    undoubtedly, going by nothing but those two interaction, i would certainly say you've being rather kind to me. for god's sake - aren't you a social worker or something similar? i got the general impression that your job (or past job?) consists of helping people, probably for for shitty pay. chances are, you have been quite giving and helpful many times in your life. overall i have a positive opinion about you, for whatever that might be worth. chances are - and admittedly i have very little to base that on - you are generally a good person.

    but, while there are many things i am not particularly an expert about - the inner working of hummingbirds for instance - i am the outmost expert regarding my own experience, of... anything. i in fact know when something frustrates me because - and yes a T is about to use the F word - i feel frustrated by it. it's also not something i hold much weight on or consider a big deal. but it's absolutely irrational to think someone is delusional in reaction to their own experience - it's a real event in a real skull which belongs to a real human. so the question remains, why would you feel the need to declare me delusional in reaction to my description of my own experience?

    my theory is that it's the same thing you've done here: just like you see a case where you are fair as a contrast to the possibility there are cases you aren't, so did you see the case where you did something you would consider unkind as a contrast to all the times you were. if the nature of my experience at a given moment provides a contrast point, i am taking away your entire ideal away from you, so telling yourself i was delusional regarding my experience was your way of coping with it. in essence, you think in absolutes, so you need to believe the things about you in terms of absolutes. it's not "i am mostly a kind person", it's not "i try my best", it's "the people who know me think i am the kindest person they've known". there's no leeway, no room for errors, so any hint of an error must be wrong. this is useful for painting a rather beautiful picture, a clear cut character which wouldn't be wrong in a piece of fiction, but it gives no room for genuine accountability. it's this very sort of thinking it's direct consequences that provide the common pattern for most of the negative feedback regarding INFJs - it explains most if not all of of the behaviors.

    take these 3 traits:
    1. determining value by the value to others.
    2. judging conclusively within absolute terms.
    3. being able to reject facts that don't feel right.

    introduce low self esteem into the mix - the lack of seen inherent value in yourself - and you end up with the perfect recipe for needing to paint one's self with absolute ideals regarding one's self of one's own value to others, both the ability and the need to discredit and/or discard anything that might imply otherwise... and you have the negative stereotype of INFJ emerging from it.
    I'm far more relaxed in this context because even though I could get a bit hurt, I'm not concerned about any friends, so I can always retreat to abstract analysis land which is my home anyway, and there I'm rather damned unflappable.

    Perhaps sometime I'll re-read that thread, because I was not thinking of anyone's reactions to their own experiences. My mind was wholly on the INFJs right here, how they were feeling about that discussion, and that they were being unfairly accused of not owning up to their mistakes in life. I was reading assumptions that there was some much more terrible thing they should be confessing to, and I'm not convinced there is. I think the ones participating in that thread could well be better, kinder people than I am. I will apologize for communicating any dismissiveness about your own feelings about your own experience. I don't think you are delusional about your experiences. I will re-analyze that thread. I was feeling really anxious because I find guilt to be an extremely sensitive subject, and I have felt plenty of it in my life. My wording tends to get too direct when I feel anxious, and so I apologize for at least demonstrating a problem communicating.

    I do remember making the comment about my employer and my SO telling me that they thought I was the kindest person they have met. It was only those two people, and I don't think that I am this, but I was just trying to provide a contrasting data point because an employer and an SO are both in a position to be critical, so I thought it would help support this idea that INFJs can be decent people. I don't know if you would have interpreted my body language as "proudly". Gawd, I don't think I'm the kindest person, and I was shocked when my employer said that to me, and I appreciate my SO saying it and consider it generous of him. The reason I would not share anecdotes about personal remorse in that thread was because of the social pressure to do so. It was never because I couldn't come up with any. My self-concept is definitely not all or nothing. Yes, I have ideals, and yes, I struggle with self-esteem, but I'm much more of a chocolate/vanilla swirly cone as a result - awareness of both poles at most points in time.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  7. #77
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I don't know where this comes in, but at the beginning of my MBTI life I was over at infpglobalchatter and I remember a post by someone called 'TK' (?) with a Ghibli Kiki avatar, who typed herself as INFJ, and I found out that I identified with her post a lot more than anyone else's out there.

    She said something that stayed with me, along the line of how she always thought she was INFP, until she started to realize that she lacked something she saw in other INFP posters, and she called it "lightness of spirit".

    After almost 5 years in a relationship with my INFP, I can attest that this is true in my experience as well. This "lightness" does not necessarily mean happy or light-hearted. If Fe is like the warm, green earth, Fi (+ Ne) is like the sky and clouds. There is a strange freedom to it that I find foreign and beautiful.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  8. #78
    Junior Member autumnatman's Avatar
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    Oh well what do you know. Its DJ Arendee, infamous youtube personality psych star. I just made this typology account and I can't believe I just stumbled across a thread posted by you. Small world. Do you remember me from my comments on your youtube vids? Maybe not. My online persona or pseudonym is autumnatman. I write stupid blogs filled with teenangst under it.

    Anyway, well I think I am an INFP but I couldn't tell you for one hundred percent sure. The large difference between an INFP and INFJ though is probably the J versus P function wouldn't you say so? I mean, I am very new to this stuff. I'm 18 years old and have only completed one semester in college. I've only been studying this personality stuff because I think Jung is the man. Anyways, I would say that as a self-proclaimed "perceiver", I am probably a lot more lax in my habits than an INFJ would be. I really like the idea of being organized. For instance, my room looks like a shithole right now. I hate it, but it will probably stay like that for two weeks until I get around to actually hanging up my clothes and putting my paints away... I like working in a clean space, but I tend to be rather messy anyways. I also value punctuality, but do often end up late to class, dentist appointments, and sometimes work (oopps!). I also like to go with the flow and don't mind unexpected trips or late night visits to my best friend's house. That being said, being on a schedule isn't horrible either. Sometimes, I feel like my life is too disorganized and a little stability wouldn't hurt. I just finished high school last year. I finished seventh in my class, but not because I'm naturally smart. It took lots of studying and late night studying sessions, chugging an unhealthy amount of coffee. I believe I almost went into a caffeine induced coma my junior year. If that even exists? Anyways, its not like the work was really hard per say. I was just lazy and procrastinated A LOT. I preferred to do my AP euro homework with a deadline breathing down my throat. Nothing like a little motivation to get you writing, you know what I mean? I think someone with a J function would be more on top of attacking that paper.... Am I wrong?

    Hmmm, more about me. I'm a waitress at a bar. As an introvert, I can tell you its kind of hard to be truly comfortable in social spaces, especially the bar scene. I've come a loooooong way since I was a kid. I'm not as shy and self conscious as I used to be. But, I can tell you that it's hard to flirt back sometimes with the old pervs who hit on you at the bar. My current project right now is learning "bar banter". This is so I can play a persona of being all hot and cool and fun while taking on fifteen tables at one time... WOOO i tell you the server industry is one of its own... But that's a different rant...

    So what do you think? Did I already say the obvious difference between the two?

    More about me. I really just want to find my soul mate and fall in love and be happy. I want everyone to love each other and I want to have kids and be one with nature. I want to learn to love myself and find my place in this world, or the place where my ego thinks it wants to be I guess? I don't know. Having trouble choosing between tripping on acid and giving up society and just going with society even though I disagree with its values. #teenangst #dreamer

  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I'll give some examples:

    zoe saldana
    summer glau
    shirley manson

    What would you type them as? They may or may not be 4's. I'm not focussing on their enneagrams.
    Ehh...Shirley Manson strikes me more as an ENFP or ISFP.

    A lot of INFJ musicians strike me more as conceptual, like Thom Yorke or Tori Amos. I don't see either of them as aggressive sluts, though I'm sure they also are comfortable with their sexuality in the form it takes.

    I'll also have you know that in Socionics, Ni doms are actually "victims" who are attracted to "aggressors." And stereotyping INFJs as "aggressive sluts" doesn't even make sense with inferior Se.

  10. #80
    Senior Member hazelsees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    What's the difference between INFJ and INFP?

    I have my own ideas but I'd like to hear what everyone here thinks.
    My INFP best friend's dream home is on "rolling fields"...
    Mine is in a cute cottage in a forest.

    She is good and pure to the core. I'm not, but I want to be.

    I tried to read all the serious posts, but it's been a long time since I've been here. I'll be back with some "real" thoughts. Maybe. I love Wine Wednesday
    ...and INFP friend doesn't indulge.

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