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Thread: INFP vs INFJ

  1. #101
    Senior Member Idealatious's Avatar
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    I don't know much about this (and this whole thread is a bit confusing when it comes to my perceptions of INFs! I certainly don't come across as polished, and only grudgingly wear make-up, hah...) but could this be an INFJ thing: caring about relevance or getting to the point?

    As an example: A while back, my friend blogged something in response to someone else that seemed to be... just completely irrelevant. It was a good post, but she seemed to be disagreeing where there was no actual conflict and responding to perceived arguments that the OP actually wasn't making. The OP was saying X and she was saying Y... but Y was perfectly compatible with X, and the OP would have probably agreed with it; they were just focusing on a different angle of the issue. I replied with a carefully worded post emphasizing that yes, friend, what you said is true and actually really well-said; I agree... but come on, why did you say it in response to the OP? Don't get me wrong; I don't dislike irrelevance in every situation, but when the irrelevant statements are needlessly confrontational, then they seem pointless.

    Am I completely making this up? Would an INFP care about this? Just a thought, though.

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castameare View Post
    this is also one the things that i consider to be important, people might start to project things from their inferior function onto somebody who may have this function as their dominant, funnily enough in the case of anima/animus this often centers around how you view the opposite sex, they see it as something outside of themselves that they don't quite own and which is not quite under their conscious control, seeing it manifested within another person for whom this function is quite natural, may either trigger some inferior complex, or some great attraction or they feel that it is so far from their dominant perspective that they just outright reject it.

    so in case of anima/animus and opposite sex you might either get an INFJ who feels quite attracted to this aggressive, dominant 'Se- image' (think of the stereotype of the rather disciplined and organized INFJ girl who might feel some great attraction to a 'bad boy Se image') or someone who may look down on Se, seeing Se- leading users as just too simple minded and not really getting the core of the subject. (like for example this stereotyped way of INFJ artist snubbery who deems everything to senseory as shallow and inferior to his deep and meanigful compositions)

    of course in real life it might manifest very differently and my examples may be a bit exaggerated in order to get across what i mean.

    thing is with projecting your anima/animus is that you may fail to see that this is something that is also quite part of you, but that you might somehow reject because of the strong stance your dominant has, going back to my example that girl might be very attracted to this dominant, aggressive, factual, hands on Se- image she might project on the opposite sex, but she fails to see that her anima/animus is also part of herself.

    so instead of projecting it and trying to 'own it' by maybe starting a relationship with such a person (which is only just based on the way how you see him)
    it would be maybe more beneficial to see how this part works for you, because the older you get the more you might understand your inferior and develop it and what kind of happens is that you don't need the other person for it any more and when the relationship was just based on that well this may the point where it falls apart. (not to mention that that person might be vastly different to what you project onto them)

    what i see within myself is that i often might hesistate to put myself out into a sensory experience, like grasping an opportunity that i haven't processed with Ni, lacking the courage to do it, because it just showed up spontaniously and i feel i need some time to think about it, so i might retreat and start thinking to much about it, going back and forth, feeling some kind of fear because i don't know where it may lead me (Ni), then after some time i realize that i just overthought and best way to handle it is to take the situation just at face value and learn how to improvise and work with the things i got at hand instead of planning and thinking to much about that stuff.

    well this is maybe just one aspect of many how the inferior function might creep up.
    Or even worse, you might project your inferior on to the wrong person; for example I see some IxTPs on this forum who have ExFJ paranoia. There are a grand total of four people who have suggested I might be an ENFJ, (actually one said ESFJ, because apparently he smokes crack) and two of them were IxTP men, who suggested it rather unpleasantly, as if it were a put-down rather than a simple statement. They see Fe where there is none.

    I've also had an INFP male call me an ISTJ in the mistyped members thread. Coincidence? I think not.

    I'm sure I've done it myself to people because they said or did the wrong thing that triggered me to project my inferior on to them.

    I've noticed the people I'm most commonly attracted to IRL (and become vexed when other people are not as agreeable or as warm)...are SFJs. And I damn sure ain't no ENTP.

    That all being said, I once had a bizarre and persistent fixation on an INTJ, and most of them I've encountered on-line I actually want to push off of a very tall building. I don't know why. I don't feel this way about ISTJs, I can't even think of one who makes me that annoyed.

  3. #103
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
    In short, if someone come off as quiet and good natured, then suddenly drops an opinion-bomb that seems so countersocial that it seems at first glance to be downright offensive, then defends it passionately and emotionally, they're probably Fi dom.

    If someone is incredibly good at validating your feelings and places significant value on outwardly getting along with everyone, including people who aren't fit to lick his/her boots, they're probably Fe aux.
    Those seem to be pretty accurate descriptions.
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  4. #104
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Idealatious View Post
    I don't know much about this (and this whole thread is a bit confusing when it comes to my perceptions of INFs! I certainly don't come across as polished, and only grudgingly wear make-up, hah...) but could this be an INFJ thing: caring about relevance or getting to the point?

    As an example: A while back, my friend blogged something in response to someone else that seemed to be... just completely irrelevant. It was a good post, but she seemed to be disagreeing where there was no actual conflict and responding to perceived arguments that the OP actually wasn't making. The OP was saying X and she was saying Y... but Y was perfectly compatible with X, and the OP would have probably agreed with it; they were just focusing on a different angle of the issue. I replied with a carefully worded post emphasizing that yes, friend, what you said is true and actually really well-said; I agree... but come on, why did you say it in response to the OP? Don't get me wrong; I don't dislike irrelevance in every situation, but when the irrelevant statements are needlessly confrontational, then they seem pointless.

    Am I completely making this up? Would an INFP care about this? Just a thought, though.
    Seems like it could well be an INFJ (and INTJ) thing. I've seen almost the exact same thing myself many times before. Dominant Ni, perhaps, seeing the connections between things that others can't see?
    You lose.

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  5. #105
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
    Hey DJ.

    Obviously all of these are generalizations, and based on my personal experiences. INFPs are more private than INFJs with their feelings, and sometimes this means they're quieter. To expand on this, it usually takes a long time to get close to an INFP, because they are often accustomed to their countersocial positions and opinions being invalidated by those around them in a society that would prefer they keep quiet. INFPs also, in my experience, are very sensitive about their feelings being ignored or invalidated, whereas an INFJ might take a more pragmatic approach about it for the sake of peace. I've noticed personally that the INFJs I've known are quite a bit more into pop culture than the INFPs I've known, but again, it's not a huge sample.

    In short, if someone come off as quiet and good natured, then suddenly drops an opinion-bomb that seems so countersocial that it seems at first glance to be downright offensive, then defends it passionately and emotionally, they're probably Fi dom.

    If someone is incredibly good at validating your feelings and places significant value on outwardly getting along with everyone, including people who aren't fit to lick his/her boots, they're probably Fe aux.
    I agree with your Fi-dom observation. The closer you get, the more Shakespearean monologues for a treat - sometimes these are "rants". The niceness or aloofness (whichever mask) is just keeping people at arm's length.

    I've never had any INFJ validate my feelings
    That sounds more like my experience with ISFJs, but I suppose it's possible for an INFJ. To me, they're more about nudging people to fit their vision or something. I have seen the kiss ass & then in private tear that person apart.... I'll stop before they complain that I'm hating them.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I agree with your Fi-dom observation. The closer you get, the more Shakespearean monologues for a treat - sometimes these are "rants". The niceness or aloofness (whichever mask) is just keeping people at arm's length.
    I'm a major Fi dom fanboy. When Jung said still waters run deep, he was dead on. Then, most everything else he said seems to be an expression of frustration at how hard Fi doms are for him to understand, which I find really amusing. Thanks Carl, we get it... they're quiet and sensitive and really complex, but you don't really get it, do you. :p Anyway.

    I've never had any INFJ validate my feelings
    I was with one who was really good at this, and I've heard numerous accounts from others that this is not uncommon. A male friend of mine typed as and seems to be INFJ as well, he's got this disarming way about him too.

    That sounds more like my experience with ISFJs, but I suppose it's possible for an INFJ. To me, they're more about nudging people to fit their vision or something. I have seen the kiss ass & then in private tear that person apart.... I'll stop before they complain that I'm hating them.
    An ex girlfriend of mine was an INFJ. She would go to work and work harder than anyone else there, be sweet and nice to everyone, then come home and weep about how hard it was to deal with these people. They weren't fair to her, they didn't work hard enough, etc. I completely agreed with her, they were awful, and I wanted things to change for her, but she didn't feel she could speak up. I think it was because she wanted to keep being liked there, and she felt that would change if she complained. I really felt for her position there, because even when work was bad, I was a lot better at leaving it behind when I came home than she was.

  7. #107
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
    Hey DJ.

    Obviously all of these are generalizations, and based on my personal experiences. INFPs are more private than INFJs with their feelings, and sometimes this means they're quieter. To expand on this, it usually takes a long time to get close to an INFP, because they are often accustomed to their countersocial positions and opinions being invalidated by those around them in a society that would prefer they keep quiet. INFPs also, in my experience, are very sensitive about their feelings being ignored or invalidated, whereas an INFJ might take a more pragmatic approach about it for the sake of peace. I've noticed personally that the INFJs I've known are quite a bit more into pop culture than the INFPs I've known, but again, it's not a huge sample.

    In short, if someone come off as quiet and good natured, then suddenly drops an opinion-bomb that seems so countersocial that it seems at first glance to be downright offensive, then defends it passionately and emotionally, they're probably Fi dom.

    If someone is incredibly good at validating your feelings and places significant value on outwardly getting along with everyone, including people who aren't fit to lick his/her boots, they're probably Fe aux.
    Now this I can identify with. I have an INFP daughter, too, and it fits pretty well.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #108
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    My Nation State has a very high happiness rating. It also does really well on ratings of intelligence, equality and compassion. And there is no crime. So, if you're an imaginary computer citizen, I can make a very nice place for you to live.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #109
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My Nation State has a very high happiness rating. It also does really well on ratings of intelligence, equality and compassion. And there is no crime. So, if you're an imaginary computer citizen, I can make a very nice place for you to live.
    You play Nationstates? So do I. Haven't been on in months though. I'm sure my nation's ceased to exist by now.
    You lose.

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  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    You play Nationstates? So do I. Haven't been on in months though. I'm sure my nation's ceased to exist by now.
    30 days. Mine no longer exists either but I checked and I think you can restore it so it probably survives in some database or buffer or something.

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