ENFP’s help me please shed some light on this sitution! (I know this is really long, but I didn't want to leave anything out)
I am an INTJ woman and I meant an ENFP guy (both in our 30‘s), we went out on one date at which point he told me he really like me. After the date, we begin texting back and forth for a few days. During this time he told me he felt a connection with me and he was looking for a long term relationship. I let him know I liked him too and maybe if we decided we were compatible. He also said all his life he’s been searching for true love and that he feels all his x’s used him on some level.
Out of the blue a few days later, he text me and said he had to leave the country to go visit his family in Europe. He said we would talk when he returned. He left the same day as he told me he was leaving.
A couple days later, after he left he text me and said he was thinking of returning in a couple of weeks and wanted to get together when he got back. I told him that would be fine. He continued to text me for a couple of days after that and again said he wanted something long term and would like to get married soon if everything worked out. (As an INTJ, I was a bit shocked because we had only been out on one date! I don’t know about other types, but it takes me awhile to warm up to someone and certainly having to know someone over a long period of time to talk about marriage). I told him I liked him too and that we would have to wait and see how it would turn out because we didn’t really know each other yet. He seemed fine and he told me he was liking me more now.
After this, I didn’t hear from him for a week (whereas before it was every day or every other day). I text him Happy Easter and we talked for a bit and that was it. He didn’t end up coming back at the end of the couple weeks and was still away.
A couple days ago, he text me. He seem really emotional. He said he felt really bad about not coming back and that we didn’t get to see each other. He said he was going to have to stay there because his Mom’s birthday was next week and that his Mom was pressuring him to stay there for 6 weeks now because of another family event coming up. He then said his mom was also pressuring him to be with an Italian girl and had set him up on a date with one. He said he went out with her and he didn’t feel the connection he did with me. He said he didn’t want me to feel bad or hurt if we couldn’t meet up when he got back if he ended up meeting someone over there. And that we should keep in touch and date other people because he didn’t want to waste my time and if he was single when he got back then he’d contact me. I told him that was probably the best thing and he needed to do what was best for him. But, when I agreed with him he started to back pedal and get emotional and said if I really felt it could work between us then for me to wait for him. He then told me he promised he wasn’t going to fall for anyone over there as long as we kept a connection and he’d be back in 6 weeks for sure. Then he told me, it didn't matter if I were Italian as long as I learned the culture and how to speak the language.We left it like that and I haven’t heard from him since.
I am really confused! I do like him, but I'm not used to someone so emotional. I dont know how to take him or if he's being genuine? Or just overly emotional and unsure what he wants? Or if he's fishing to see how I really feel about him? Playing games? Lost interest and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings? Or something else entirely? Please help!!
Since he's been away I hear from him less and less. I don’t know what to think or do at this point?
Can anyone shed some light please? Thank you