User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 88

  1. #51
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    @Duck_of_Death - We barely know the specifics of the situation yet you've crowned yourself judge, jury, and executioner of all ENFPs!

  2. #52
    A window to the soul
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    I don't see a monster. I just see a woman saying she isn't ready because, in fact, she actually isn't.
    Hmmm, are you *the girl* that's under the microscope?

    Thank you. *fist bump*
    lol. *solidarity*

    Quote Originally Posted by Bilateral Entry View Post
    I think you're gonna see a cycle. She's gonna be unsure of your relationship, and that's just going to keep coming up. If you're OK with that, then go for it. If you think that's more than you want to (or can) deal with, then tell her that it'd be best if you parted ways.
    I don't know; maybe. Only time will tell.

    Don't be mean to her. That'll just give you one more thing to feel guilty about afterwards.
    Yeps. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Nice post, @Nerd Girl.
    Thank you very much. <3

    I think it's ridiculous the amount of anger and disdain being brought to this thread. This post was directed at ENFPs so that we could give insight into our particular line of thinking; the ENFPs here have said we don't feel this is intentionally malicious. Spewing a bunch of negativity at this girl isn't good for anyone.
    Oh well, you know what they say about boys that are mean to girls... they're in luv... or is it lust? I forget.

  3. #53
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    @Duck_of_Death - We barely know the specifics of the situation yet you've crowned yourself judge, jury, and executioner of all ENFPs!
    You don't need specifics when you have experience.
    She's a shallow, self-absorbed, manic-pixie girl/whore/female player.

    She is dependent on external validation and will shamelessly use anybody to get it.
    Relationships will always be rocky with her because she is addicted to the chemical rush of infatuation.

    Genuine bonding? Adult "love"? Will never enter into the equation for her. And regardless of how you wish to spin it, she is intentionally giving him just enough rope to hang himself so that he will "stick around". "Look at what I can make my dog do!" is what she is smugly saying to herself when he tries to reconcile. It is sickening.

    He deserves better than this.

  4. #54
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,370

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    You don't need specifics when you have experience.
    She's a shallow, self-absorbed, manic-pixie girl/whore/female player.

    She is dependent on external validation and will shamelessly use anybody to get it.
    Relationships will always be rocky with her because she is addicted to the chemical rush of infatuation.

    Genuine bonding? Adult "love"? Will never enter into the equation for her. And regardless of how you wish to spin it, she is intentionally giving him just enough rope to hang himself so that he will "stick around". "Look at what I can make my dog do!" is what she is smugly saying to herself when he tries to reconcile. It is sickening.

    He deserves better than this.
    Careful, lest you summon the wrath/lust of a certain INTP FEMALE forum user.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  5. #55
    A window to the soul
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    You don't need specifics when you have experience.
    She's a shallow, self-absorbed, manic-pixie girl/whore/female player.

    She is dependent on external validation and will shamelessly use anybody to get it.
    Relationships will always be rocky with her because she is addicted to the chemical rush of infatuation.

    Genuine bonding? Adult "love"? Will never enter into the equation for her. And regardless of how you wish to spin it, she is intentionally giving him just enough rope to hang himself so that he will "stick around". "Look at what I can make my dog do!" is what she is smugly saying to herself when he tries to reconcile. It is sickening.

    He deserves better than this.
    The mic is on and working well... we heard you repeat yourself loud and clear... over...

  6. #56
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    I have to admit I personally prefer a partner who says things like "I know I suck, you deserve someone who can give more of himself to you, you're too good for this" or even "fuck off I don't want to be with you" over someone who does things like say they don't want to be with me ...but then keep contacting me or stalking me around the Internet...or like in the OP's case, still keeps kissing him and stuff.

    It's a personal preference. I find people who send mixed signals without any trace of moral culpability (like trying to blame it all on the other person or on circumstances) to be among some of the most irritating people on the face of the earth.

    However, I think @Nerd Girl has a fantastic point about how to deal with ALL and ANY relationship, no matter how either or both partners are behaving.

    Because realistically maybe a part of her does want to be with him, maybe she really is that immature and confused, so she probably doesn't consciously CONNIVE to do any of this, I don't think she's conniving (to clarify my perspective) but I also don't think she should be rewarded in any way for this behavior, and that's why I said earlier I agreed with @Duck_of_Death in part, in one of his posts. She needs to learn from this experience so hopefully she doesn't keep doing it, like MDP's friend, who frankly sounded like a trainwreck to me.

    I'm also not saying I'm morally superior. I'm just saying she shouldn't be rewarded for her behavior, because it is confusing and push-pull.

    And if the OP really loves her, I understand why he's trying to hang on and try to make it work out, even if he later realizes the most moral and adult thing to do is to just let her go. And if he couldn't, that would be HIS issue, of learning to let go. You can't have a relationship with a pleasant memory, and trying to force a person or situation who has realistically changed back into that time when it worked...doesn't work. It's hurting yourself, and unfair to the other person in its own way, though the rejected party usually feels more justified in doing this.

  7. #57
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    I like @Nerd Girl 's post too.

    The "push/pull" routine torments everyone. Nobody likes it. I've never met anyone who consciously does it on purpose to upset someone though. They're just being a bit self-absorbed, as humans often are. Considering their emotions, which are probably super complicated, you can't be mad at them.

    When you find yourself the victim of someone's push/pull routine, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness and just end it yourself or decide that you're going to endure the rollercoaster. If you decide to end it, tell her to take the time she needs to get where she wants to be and to contact you when she's truly ready to be with you and if you're still single, then you can start over. At the ending point, you should sever all ties though.

    If you don't want to break up, then I would start with reassuring her and helping her feel secure, and see how that works. If she continues to act like a fool, then it's out of your hands and at least you can say you tried.

  8. #58
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTj
    Posts
    6,243

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    You don't need specifics when you have experience.
    She's a shallow, self-absorbed, manic-pixie girl/whore/female player.

    She is dependent on external validation and will shamelessly use anybody to get it.
    Relationships will always be rocky with her because she is addicted to the chemical rush of infatuation.

    Genuine bonding? Adult "love"? Will never enter into the equation for her. And regardless of how you wish to spin it, she is intentionally giving him just enough rope to hang himself so that he will "stick around". "Look at what I can make my dog do!" is what she is smugly saying to herself when he tries to reconcile. It is sickening.

    He deserves better than this.
    INTJ.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  9. #59
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I like @Nerd Girl 's post too.

    The "push/pull" routine torments everyone. I've never met anyone who consciously does it on purpose to upset someone though. They're just being a bit self-absorbed, as humans often are. Considering their emotions, which are probably super complicated, you can't be mad at them.

    When you find yourself the victim of someone's push/pull routine, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness and just end it yourself or decide that you're going to endure the rollercoaster. If you decide to end it, tell her to take the time she needs to get where she wants to be and to contact you when she's truly ready to be with you and if you're still single, then you can start over.
    I agree with this. At some point you have to say "you know what? I'm the person giving into this. I shouldn't indulge this behavior if it hurts me, I have control over my own life, and if I am giving too much to a person who isn't sure what they want, then I need to stop to let them know its not okay." But that's difficult for someone in love, who wants to give the beloved every chance imaginable, or who may be weak in terms of affection or sex, that they just crumble and give in when that person touches them or is physically around. I KNOW.

    So it can be hard to say "no, sorry, I'm not going to let you play this game with me" if you are in love with someone and wish it would work, even if the person isn't meaning to play a game.

    In fact it makes it emotionally harder to shut someone out when you know them well enough or sense they are actually hurting or confused, you just want to meet them in the middle and let them know you're there for them.

    And yes, there definitely are people who do things like this selfishly, usually for sex, money, security, or attention. So let's not pretend those people don't exist.

    But I suppose giving the OPs gf the benefit of the doubt, that she's not one of them, is only fair.

    On the other hand, making her look too victimized by her confused indecision takes away her culpability as a fully functioning adult who is capable of engaging in intimate relationships.

  10. #60
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    He deserves better than this.
    Maybe you should get with him.

Similar Threads

  1. RELIGIOUS ENFP GIRLFRIEND KEEPS BREAKING UP WITH ME
    By Aweso_23 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-22-2017, 08:31 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP girlfriend confusing me! Help!
    By fecaleagle in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 295
    Last Post: 11-17-2016, 01:44 PM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP fell for me fast. Should I be concerned?
    By Strawberry Unicorn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-17-2016, 03:03 PM
  4. [ENFP] INFJ does not understand ENFP please help me get to the bottom of it :)
    By pollypossom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-27-2011, 07:49 PM
  5. [ENFP] How can I tell if an ENFP is into me?
    By ed111 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 01-05-2011, 05:58 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO