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  1. #21
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    you just listed some of the qualities I like best about myself.

    What would you say are ENFPs' social strengths, then? My impression -- only knowing 2 ENFPs at most -- is that this lack of groundedness has its good points. More flexibility, spontaneity, less solipsism, etc. This could be founded entirely on stereotypes, though.
    Yes, those are helpful. I think the ability to make others feel welcome is a significant ENFP social strength. We're open and warm but not demanding or judgmental. We tend to put people at ease and easily draw information out of people because we're accepting and genuinely enjoy listening. We're also good readers of small changes in others. Perhaps our single greatest strength is our ability to motivate, though that's more useful after getting to know others than when getting to know others.

    Personally I'm a bit of a more stodgy ENFP because of my Enneagram 6ness, but other ENFPs may be able to comment on the benefits of being more flexible, spontaneous, and adaptable.

    I don't usually feel unappreciated as an introvert, but it is frustrating when extraverts expect more "data" from me. It's just more natural for me to absorb than contribute. I'm glad you pointed this out, because I always forget that I don't communicate with extraverts as well as I should. It seems like finding a better balance would be really rewarding.
    I agree, too. I think extraverts could work harder to make social conditions more inviting for introverts, and I think introverts could try to reach out to extraverts by communicating information more often.

  2. #22
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Sometimes I think you're an e9, Scott. :X

    While I'm probably more calming than most ENFPs, people tend to seek me for insight & advice more than nurturing. Being e4, I'm terribly moody & not always approachable. I'm not creating a sanctuary with my presence. I think my hyper self-awareness can be contagious and suffocating. In person, people don't dismiss me as so much as find me inhibiting. Then they project "self-righteous" or "snobby" onto me, but their own perception that I'm "above it" makes them value my input. I get sillier & more light-hearted as people get to know me, and then I'm usually increasingly more likable to them. To have respect or admiration come first is not such a terrible thing.

    I notice on that archetypes test (in the test section; can't help crossing contexts!), most women were scoring as "caregiver" in their top 3. I didn't.... my brand of nurturing falls under the "spiritual" category which I scored highest in. This isn't always calming... it tends to make people think a lot though. Sometimes I rile people up, because I make them CARE, when they otherwise wouldn't. Sometimes I do this by pissing them off & ignoring what I'm "supposed" to care about & caring about something else instead. But then they think. And yeah, it makes their head hurt.

    I would agree that ENFPs are generally more popular. I can see how in some areas in your life they may be given more credit. I suppose context makes a difference there. But generally, I'm more serious & taken more seriously because of it. The downside is not being seen as the fun, cute, bubbly type who is inevitably more pleasing to people.

    As for creativity, I don't find myself with less valuable or less creative ideas than the ENFPs I've met, perhaps my ideas are just LESS attached to reality (more idealistic), and more significantly, I have less outward motivation & social aptitude to pursue them & make them happen. But the "too grand" aspect may be a part of that. And they have a better handle on Te - the logistics to make it happen. If I'm feeling arrogant, I'd say I'm more creative than many ENFPs I've met, but many of them are more skilled & have accomplished far more, because they make the effort & refine their approach along the way.

    I think our usually superior Si makes us better with personal priorities. We're probably better at boundary setting & knowing how real world experiences connect to our valuations. That combined with being Fi-dom means we may better understand and adhere to our convictions. I would like to call this "integrity", but I don't want ENFPs coming at me with pitchforks & saying I've implied they lack it :P. If I'm able to write it out & have the time & energy, I'd like to think I can better explain my convictions better also. I often choose not to, whereas ENFPs will forge ahead, more comfortable with something imperfect.

    I think we INFPs have a frustrating ability to KNOW very well what we need & what is good for us, but we may not find it easy to figure out the know-how to get there. ENFPs tend to just go forward & figure it all out as they go, which can lead to problems too, because they don't always figure it out or go somewhere good.

    I think letting go of being perfect & acting on our ideas is one thing we can learn from ENFPs. The demeanor is not something I'll ever have, and again, I'm okay with that.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  3. #23
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    hmm, probably too ambiverted to comment on which is better *compared to me*. But it does matter what area of life we're talking about here. I think in many circumstances, I's are going to feel inferior to E's because of societal demands.
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  4. #24
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Scott Denver, is your first question intentionally rhetorical?

    I reckon you need something to do after work that won't cut into your half hour drive to the gym and meal, but high tide you hit up the old drawing board.

    thinking of you

  5. #25
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Summoned, I was.

    I have to agree with @skylights and @OrangeAppled for the most part.

    I did have a period of wanting to be an INFP, simply because I felt myself reigning in my Ne instead of letting it run all over the place, and noticing the increased focus, crystalization of values and calmness that came with it, something I very much strive for.

    I always felt like an energy ball all over the place growing up, and I was an outcast in my teens, because I wasn't socially skilled and too open about who I was and what I stood for to navigate the social world. I was told I was weird every *** day just about, and that was the sweetest thing I got thrown at my head, trust me.

    It takes...time and experience to learn how to guide that Ne in a way that doesn't piss off everyone around you, at least, it did for me. And even then. I feel like I'm sometimes sitting on a box of dynamite and if I dare to let go, there will be fireworks going off everywhere. Some people might like the fireworks, but most of the time people just run for cover, especially if it is done in a careless way (and it is so much easier to do it in a careless way). Compare it to riding a really warm-blooded horse that only needs the slightest nudge to go all out. Letting it run loose is fun but doesn't get you anywhere and gets people in a really bad mood really fast. Reigning it in to a graceful calm dance requires a level of mastery I have yet to achieve.

    When I see INFPs shine in their own right - the calm, collected, clear-headed passionate idealist that they are - I do sometimes envy them, as they seem to have just as much fire as me but somehow seem to channel it more smoothly. I find it interesting that they have a hard time actually unleashing that energy in the way that well..comes naturally to me (and gets me into trouble every time if I let it go overboard).

    I also really get tired of the whole 'oh god she is so bubbly and sweet, she must be an airhead'-thing. It doesnt help that people stamp me 'Barbie' due to my appearance (another reason I dont post pics online, its nice not to have that work against me for once). Granted, it is a fun thing to use against them and let them underestimate me in every way, but still. If I decide to present myself the first time in a goofy and silly way, I have to work thrice as hard afterwards to get them to take me seriously on *anything*. And god forbid I explain something in a passionate way while trying to joke about it so it doesn't come off as scary, coz then it just confuses the hell out of them: is she serious, is she joking, should I be running coz she is that intense, what?

    So the whole social butterfly card we can play has its perks, for sure, if you learn how to use it properly. But it has a buttload of downsides as well, especially if you let it get away from you. You'll overload people, tire them out, overstimulate them, make them resent you, they'll assume you re an airhead with no depth whatsoever and therefore really only have one purpose: entertainment. And sure, they'll seek you out for that. But if you don't watch yourself, that is all they'll want from you. And if you oblige them, they'll feel entitled and get pissy if you dare to turn off the silly facade, coz they want you to dance, monkey, DANCE!

    In a way it makes sense though. MBTI teaches that the way to grow is to develop your parental function. For INFPs, that is their Ne, and for ENFPs their Fi. We are two types coming from opposite sides to reach a very very similar end result, I'd say. And yes, the other type is always going to be slightly better at what is their dom function...which is only natural I say. But I think we can learn a lot from each other. Envy and self-loathing will keep you from learning from the other though. Accepting who you are, while being inspired by the other type will allow you to swim quite comfortably in each others pools
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  6. #26
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    An ENFP would be my mistress but I'd never leave my hypothetical INFP wife. At least, that's the dynamic I have with these types. See? Good for everything!
    Stop hypothetically cheating on your hypothetical wife and show her some respect, please.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  7. #27
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    ENFPs seem cool and all in theory and on the internet, and may in fact SEEM superior to INFPs; but when you witness some of the chaos that inferior Si causes in their lives you'll see how it balances out.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #28
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    my God, I want to give you such a big hug. I understand everything you're saying, from people finding you weird while you were growing up (and still now) - and this is something I'm really sensitive to, to not taking you seriously if you are in a good mood (and this is bad, because then to be respected i use Te, and i'm not fully in control of it, so i can seem almost bi-polar to people), to talking about how you can use their underestimation of you to your favor, to lastly concluding that INFPs and ENFPs should develop their 2nd functions and thus can really help each other (and thankfully my gf is an INFP and we do help each other a lot)
    take care.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Summoned, I was.

    I have to agree with @skylights and @OrangeAppled for the most part.

    I did have a period of wanting to be an INFP, simply because I felt myself reigning in my Ne instead of letting it run all over the place, and noticing the increased focus, crystalization of values and calmness that came with it, something I very much strive for.......

  9. #29
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Enfps and Infps have at least one really great thing in common: the superiority and brilliance of an entp they wont ever achieve
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Enfps and Infps have at least one really great thing in common: the superiority and brilliance of an entp they wont ever achieve
    jumping off that to a question i have being holding off in agony for Fe reasons i do not currently remember:

    why are you guys arguing on who is more inadequate? "i got fucked by life more.. no i was!"
    what is this competition for martyrdom?

    with NTs you get people arguing on whose more intellectually competence, somehow you'd expect people here to argue similarly on some levels of emotional intelligence, but instead.... i'm not sure how to explain it, it's like you're arguing on whose angst is more legitimate.

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