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  1. #41
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    No.
    I don't get why it's disturbing to some either.
    I might find it disturbing if a woman said her goal was to be a giraffe. Unless it was @Saturned of course.
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  2. #42
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    are we assuming a Stepford Wife?

    because on a more modern tone, from what i gather, the main cost for women's career isn't the marriage so much as maternity leave and extended time off thereafter, but given life-long jobs are becoming increasingly rare for everyone anyway, and more people have to change jobs and cross disciplines at an increasing frequency, the setback is being diminished to holes in the resume.
    A girlfriend of mine who had been accepted to Yale Law gave up her spot to follow her long-term boyfriend to the west coast where he will train to be a Marine. Girls I went to high school who graduated at the top of their class and went to top-flight schools chose bullshit majors around the idea that they were there first and foremost to get their "MRS". Marriage and its pursuit causes women to make personal compromises to the detriment of their careers way before kids are in the picture.

    Honestly, though, I'm not really getting my back up about this, and don't feel like going into the deeper issues here. I was pretty satisfied with Zara's point that both partners can find something that works for them as long as there's agreement on what's important and the will to see it through.
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  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    A girlfriend of mine who had been accepted to Yale Law gave up her spot to follow her long-term boyfriend to the west coast where he will train to be a Marine. Girls I went to high school who graduated at the top of their class and went to top-flight schools chose bullshit majors around the idea that they were there first and foremost to get their "MRS". Marriage and its pursuit causes women to make personal compromises to the detriment of their careers way before kids are in the picture.
    this seems to be more a matter of personal priorities then anything intrinsic to gender roles or marriage.

  4. #44
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    this seems to be more a matter of personal priorities then anything intrinsic to gender roles or marriage.
    Priorities aren't formulated in a vacuum.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  5. #45
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Not in all aspects of her life, but certainly career-wise. In that regard, I do think women typically make more compromises and ultimately give up more.

    However, to be fair, I can see how a man who spends all his time working to support his family and never gets to see them could end up feeling equally jilted, and without having had the explicit option to choose posed to him that a women does.

    Perhaps what would have been more accurate to say was that work culture isn't conducive to the reality of dual-income households, and everyone is penalized as a result. What do you think?
    In the area I live it's about whats "acceptable". Men arent encouraged to pursue a lot of otherwise rewarding great careers because "those aren't careers that support a wife (and family)". ... But for women, it's as if nothing is ever discouraged career wise because of silent assumption some man is going to end up taking care of them anyways.

    It's just the stepford area I grew up in. I've managed to escape, but I know the playbook pretty well.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Priorities aren't formulated in a vacuum.
    true.

  7. #47
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    A girlfriend of mine who had been accepted to Yale Law gave up her spot to follow her long-term boyfriend to the west coast where he will train to be a Marine. Girls I went to high school who graduated at the top of their class and went to top-flight schools chose bullshit majors around the idea that they were there first and foremost to get their "MRS". Marriage and its pursuit causes women to make personal compromises to the detriment of their careers way before kids are in the picture.
    After graduating at the top of my class in high school, I went to a mediocre college because it had a much higher percentage of women than men in comparison to other schools. I would say I regret that compromise but I don't. What is the bigger compromise - giving up a promising career or giving up an opportunity to raise children? When people are on their deathbed, they don't have regrets and wish that they spent more time in the office. Life is all about compromises.

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  8. #48
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post
    I might find it disturbing if a woman said her goal was to be a giraffe.
    Now THAT'S something to be disturbed about!

  9. #49
    WALMART
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    Have dreams of lasting interpersonal development become so malign in the social eye?

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Now THAT'S something to be disturbed about!
    do you take an issue with her life choices:

    ?

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